


Gang Wars

by castielofasgard



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, But mostly Pietro's POV tbh, Depression, Gang AU, Gang Violence, Gen, Hallucinations, Non-Consensual Drug Use, POV Alternating, Recreational Drug Use, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, a bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:12:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 44
Words: 55,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4471904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielofasgard/pseuds/castielofasgard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers and Hydra are the toughest gangs at Shield High School. When Pietro and Wanda Maximoff move to town, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a gang war that threatens everything they know and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to take a moment now to let you know that I WILL indicate in the notes when something particularly triggering happens in a chapter, since this fic has so many warnings. I want reading this fic to be an enjoyable (if rather emotionally painful) experience, and reading something triggering without warning that it was coming is definitely a way to take some enjoyment out of it.

The Avengers were, by far, the strangest, most eccentric gang at Shield High School. Not a single member was the type of person you’d expect to see in a gang, and for the most part, it seemed highly unlikely that any of them would have ever befriended the others in the first place. There were nine of them total, all seniors, all simultaneously incredibly nice and massive assholes. They never picked on anybody who didn’t deserve it, but when it came to bullies – and authorities – they were the biggest bunch of rabble-rousing punks you could ever imagine.

 

Their leader was named Steve Rogers. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, a star on the school track team, but until puberty hit him like a train in the summer between freshman and sophomore year, he had been a skinny little thing, always bullied and beat up by the dumpsters after school (though he was often the instigator of these fights even back then). He had a strong moral center that only bent to let him beat the shit out of assholes and rival gangs, and was incredibly political; he had acquired a fake ID when he was 15, not for the purpose of buying alcohol but so that he could vote, and the first thing he did on his 18th birthday was register to vote legally. Now that he was no longer scrawny, Steve was no longer directly targeted by the school bullies, but they still had snide things to same about him on occasion, especially after he came out as bisexual during junior year and started dating his lifelong best friend, Bucky Barnes.

 

Bucky was, as Steve’s best friend and now boyfriend, the unofficial second-in-command. He too was tall, muscular, and handsome, and as such had been the one to save Steve’s skinny ass every time the big kids would corner him after school. He was a bit put-out that his role of protector had been cruelly snatched by the claws of puberty, but he continued to have Steve’s back one hundred and thirty percent and was always there to get him out of scrapes. Before settling down with Steve, Bucky had been a runner-up for school slut. He had been aware of and open about his own sexuality far earlier than Steve was and had dated a very large portion of the school’s population. These relationships rarely lasted long, probably because it quickly became clear to everyone he slept with that he’d rather they were Steve Rogers, so when they finally got together, every boy and girl in the school who could claim the title of “Bucky’s ex” gave a sigh of exasperated relief.

 

The young man who had beat out Bucky for the title of King Slut was fellow Avenger, Tony Stark. Tony was the son a multi-billionaire inventor, which automatically led to the question of what the hell was he doing in Shield High rather than some illustrious private school. The answer was simple: all of Tony’s friends were there. Tony took after his father in many ways, from his cocky, narcissistic personality to his brilliant brain. Like his father, he loved science and inventing and was all set up to inherit his father’s company after college. Provided he didn’t get arrested (or worse) for his gang activity before he even graduated high school. Like Bucky, Tony had once been renowned for his sexual exploits until he settled down with his _own_ childhood friend, Pepper Potts. Pepper wasn’t part of the gang and spent a great deal of her time being highly stressed out over Tony’s membership, but everyone who knew Tony would say that she was the best thing that could ever have happened to him.

 

The next member of the Avengers was Tony’s best friend, James Rhodes, who usually went by Rhodey. He was a lovable hard-ass (as anyone with the role of Tony Stark’s best friend needed to be), who grew up in a military family and was expected to follow his father’s footsteps after he graduated. Of course, this led to a lot of disappointment on his parents’ part as he was a significant member of one of the toughest teenage gangs in town. He put up with very little nonsense and several outsiders were surprised he wasn’t the gang’s leader. However, he was incredibly loyal and an invaluable member, especially when they got into particularly rough situations.

 

Next was by far the most unexpected member of the gang: Bruce Banner. He was a quiet science student with unruly curls and glasses, and he hated conflict. He and Tony were good friends from their hours of overtime put in at the school labs, and that was how he’d somehow accepted the invitation to join the Avengers. Mostly he helped with behind the scenes stuff and patched up the team’s injuries after fights, but if you pissed him off enough, he could have a vicious temper. He was always very apologetic and regretful after he calmed back down, but even though he was loathe to admit it, angry-Bruce was really helpful in a fight.

 

The next most unexpected gang member was Clint Barton. Clint was the founder, leader, and champion of the school’s archery club, and that was his crowning academic achievement. It wasn’t that he was stupid, or bad at schoolwork, or even that he didn’t try. He was just _that_ unlucky. No matter what he did, something always went wrong and he’d end up turning in half an essay or his calculator would break into several pieces ten minutes before the end of a test. His unluckiness wasn’t reserved solely for school unfortunately, and though he was excellent in a fight, he was the Avenger that Bruce had to stitch up the most often. Clint was generally rather a dork: he was addicted to coffee, loved dogs, and was always ready with a joke or a snarky comment. However, he could easily flip the switch from fluffball to badass if he needed to, even on just two cups of coffee and with his fly undone.

 

Clint was dating the only girl on the gang, Natasha Romanoff. Natasha was a certified badass (according to pretty much everyone) and you most definitely would not want to cross her. She’d moved to the States from Russia when she was very little, only for her parents to die mysteriously a year later, leaving her to grow up in a rather awful orphanage until she was adopted by Clint’s next door neighbor when she was 13. Natasha was a ballerina and a black belt, a deadly combination it turned out, making her infamous in gang circles only a month after the Avengers began. However, despite her apparently terrifying exterior, she was a surprisingly warm friend, fiercely loyal, and a bit of a dork herself. Everyone who didn’t know her and Clint well enough was shocked that they were dating, but their friends knew how perfectly matched they were.

 

Then there was Sam Wilson, Steve’s fellow track star and one of the most loyal people on earth. He wasn’t loyal so much to the Avengers gang as he was to its individual members. If the gang were split up, he would still stand by every one of them. He was smart, capable, witty, and by far one of the most friendly and approachable of the group. He had lost a good friend in a gang fight at his old school, before joining the Avengers, and he was constantly worried that one of his new friends would meet the same fate, but that didn’t stop him from backing every fight they went into, so long as they were fighting for a good reason.

 

Last but most certainly not least was Thor Odinson. Like Tony, he was from a rich family that made many question why he was at Shield High and not a fancy private school, especially as they were rather a pretentious bunch (“I mean, who names their kid after a Norse god?” Clint would say). Thor was also the highly popular quarterback for the school football team, which added the second question of why the hell was he part of a gang. The answer to both was two-fold. Part one: he loved his friends. Part two: his father was kind of a dick. A well-meaning dick when it came to Thor, but still not the greatest guy on earth. Thor had a brother named Loki who was a year younger and took the brunt of their father’s less-than-excellent parenting skills. As a result, Loki had become estranged and angry and had spent the last year in and out of juvie. Thor was constantly trying to get his brother to turn over a new leaf, but the point had been made and therefore it didn’t matter to their father that Thor was in a gang, he was still the model son. It was true that Thor had many admirable qualities, namely his bravery, strength, and loyalty, but he had a bit of an arrogant streak that would win out at times and his fight-picking attitude got him into nearly as much trouble as Steve’s did.

 

Anyone who was close with the Avengers, or even with just one member, would tell you that they were a lovable (though perhaps a bit hard to like) gang of misfits, thrown together by God knows what, maybe fate or destiny or maybe just high school. They didn’t always know exactly what they were fighting for, and sometimes they seemed to be fighting just for the sake of a fight, but in the end, their hearts were always in the right place and they never hurt anyone without a damn good reason. However, apart from each other, there weren’t a lot of people who were actually close enough with any of the Avengers to realize this. So to most people, they were just “that weirdo gang”. But to Hydra, they were the ultimate rivals.

 


	2. The Maximoffs

Coming to a new high school junior year is never a pleasant experience. It’s even worse when you’ve only lived in the States for four years total, your new school is in a suburb of _New York City_ , and you and your twin sister have been dubbed “kinda weird” by most of the classmates you’ve endured. These were the thoughts plaguing Pietro Maximoff’s mind as his mother dropped him and his sister Wanda off in the parking lot of Shield High School. As the beat-up old car rattled away, Pietro scanned the scene in front of him. It wasn’t the biggest school. Just a bunch of weathered brick buildings clumped together next to a parking lot filled with cars of varying levels of newness. The foremost building bore a large plastic sign that read “Shield High School”; underneath that, in smaller letters, were the words “Home of the Eagles”. 

“Come on, Pietro, we can’t just stand here forever,” Wanda said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“If only...” Pietro sighed.

He followed his sister into the school and to the office to pick up their schedules and locker numbers. Neither of them were very happy to find out that their lockers were no where near each other, but in an attempt to be the optimistic one, Pietro suggested that maybe this way they would be forced to make some friends. He was more right than he expected.

 

After several tries, Pietro finally managed to unlock his locker and began to load it with his books for the semester. The boy crouched at the locker below his was not making this task easy and Pietro was certain he’d drop one of the heavier textbooks right on his head and manage to make an enemy before the first bell even rang. However, the boy was meant for a different kind of misfortune. No sooner had Pietro carefully stacked the final book in his locker than the boy stood up very quickly and his head collided with Pietro’s open locker door. 

“SHIT,” he yelped, causing everyone nearby to turn and stare.

“Oh god, I am so sorry, are you okay?” Pietro said in a panic.

“Yeah, yup, I’m good,” said the boy. “I’ve had worse. I think.”

“You think?”

“Well, I’m _assuming_ I don’t have a concussion and/or am not bleeding profusely,” the boy removed his hand from his forehead and checked it for blood. “Nope, I’m good. I’m Clint Barton, by the way. Just so you know whose skull you cracked. And you are?”

“Pietro Maximoff. I’m new.”

“I know. If you weren’t you’d already know who I am,” said Clint.

“Oh really? And why would that be?” said Pietro, raising an eyebrow challengingly. This guy seemed awfully sure of himself.

“I’m kinda in a gang,” Clint replied casually.

Pietro dropped his backpack, staring at Clint in alarm for a moment before quickly bending down to pick it back up.

“Whoa, dude, it’s okay, no need to panic about it,” said Clint, laughing a little. “We’re a nice gang. I mean, I’m nice. Well, we _are_ nice... but we’re a gang... so we can’t really let that get around... okay, my point is, we’re not gonna do anything to you. Unless you turn out to be a bully or something. So based on the last minute and a half, you’re safe.”

“Wait, so you’re a gang that beats up bullies?” Pietro clarified. “That seems a bit... backward.”

“We defy all stereotypes, little man,” said Clint, clapping Pietro on the shoulder. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a girl to kiss before the bell rings.”

And with that, he sauntered off, leaving Pietro startled and more than a little confused.

 

***

 

Wanda rather suspected that the cafeteria lunches at Shield High would be just as disappointing as any of school lunch she’d had. However, it was this or nothing, so when the boy in front of her in line got the pizza, she figured it was one of the safer options and ordered the same. She scoped out an unoccupied table and sat down. A few minutes later, Pietro joined her.

“How’s your day going?” he asked.

“Not bad. You make any friends yet?” Wanda replied, mocking his enthusiasm from earlier.

“I have actually. Well, kinda,” said Pietro. “I don’t know if I’d call him a friend necessarily. He seemed nice enough, but he’s in a gang and I hit him with my locker door so...”

“He’s in a gang?” Wanda repeated.

“Yeah, though apparently they’re a ‘nice’ gang.” Pietro made air quotes, waving his forkful of salad haphazardly.

“Is he part of Hydra?”

“I don’t know? Why?”

“Because I met someone who’s in a gang too,” said Wanda. “Only he wouldn’t shut up about it and they don’t seem like they’re terribly nice.”

Just then, a bespectacled boy came up to their table. He had wild brown hair and was a bit on the shorter side, but he was rather pretty and as he approached them he grinned shyly at Pietro, who smirked back in his playful way.

“Do you mind if I join you?” the boy asked. “Only, this is where I usually sit and...”

“Of course,” said Pietro, pulling out the chair next to him.

“Thanks,” said the boy, setting down his tray and sitting down, never taking his eyes off Pietro.

“No problem,” Pietro replied, staring just as intently at the newcomer.

Wanda rolled his eyes. Her brother was pansexual, and though leaving Russia had been hard on their family, seeing him flourish now that he was free to express his sexuality was worth all of it to Wanda. The only downside was that he was an insufferable flirt, often purely for the sake of the fact that he could.

“My name’s Jason, by the way,” said the boy. “Jason Frost.”

“I’m Pietro Maximoff.”

“Wanda. We’re new.”

“I know,” said Jason.

“How is it that everyone here seems to know that already?” said Pietro.

“Word travels fast,” Jason replied.

“People have been talking about us?” Wanda said incredulously.

“Kind of. A few people have at least.”

“Nothing bad I hope,” said Pietro.

“Oh no, not at all,” said Jason. He blushed a little before continuing. “One person actually told me that you were rather attractive...”

“And were they right?” Pietro asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking again.

If Wanda rolled her eyes any harder she’d get a migraine.

“Yes, they were,” Jason replied. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off Pietro.

“Good lord...” groaned Wanda in exasperation. “Do you two need to go find a room or something?”

Pietro and Jason finally stopped staring at each other and looked at her instead. Jason looked flustered but Pietro just looked incredibly amused.

“Why would we need to do that?” Pietro asked innocently.

Wanda just gave him a look.

“Sorry,” Jason mumbled.

“It’s okay,” said Wanda with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Just watch out for my brother, Jason, he can be trouble.”

“Don’t worry,” said Jason. “I don’t mind a little trouble.”

 

***

 

The final bell had rung and Pietro returned to his locker to find Clint Barton already crouched down exactly as he’d found him this morning.

“Watch your head,” he joked as he opened his locker.

Clint looked up at him and grinned before closing his own locker and standing up, very deliberately avoiding the door above him.

“Have a good first day?” he asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” said Pietro. He paused for a moment. “Clint, your gang... is it called Hydra? Someone told me it was a gang around here, so I was just wondering...”

“Oh hell no,” said Clint. “Hydra are a bunch of lunatics. Meanest bunch you’ll ever come across. No, I’m part of the Avengers.”

“The Avengers?” Pietro repeated. “What exactly are you avenging?”

“You know... I honestly don’t know,” Clint laughed. “I’ll have to get back to you on that one. See you ‘round, Maximoff.”

Then with a wave of his hand, he left.

 


	3. Date Night

The next two weeks followed much the same pattern. Pietro would chat with Clint a bit at their lockers, go to classes, have lunch with Wanda and Jason, go to more classes, then chat with Clint some more before going home. About a week and a half into their friendship (or whatever their relationship would be considered, Pietro wasn’t really sure yet), Clint introduced him to his girlfriend, Natasha. She was nice but rather intimidating, and seemed much more likely to be part of a gang than Clint did.

 

It was Friday and Clint had just departed. Pietro finished packing up his backpack and closed his locker, then hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and turned to go.

“Pietro! Wait up!”

He turned and saw Jason jogging down the hall toward him, hair flopping wildly. Pietro smiled and waited for him to catch up.

“I have a question for you,” Jason said, catching his breath.

“Ask away,” said Pietro.

“Um, well, I was wondering... are you free tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, cool. So, uh... do you want to... maybe... do you want to go out? With me? On a date?” Jason asked, blushing and looking at his shoes.

Pietro grinned.

“Of course I want to,” he said. 

Jason looked up at him and seemed almost surprised.

“Really?” 

“Would I lie about this?” Pietro teased.

“No, of course not,” said Jason, a smile lighting up his face. “Seven sound good?”

“Seven it is. I’ll see you then.”

 

***

 

“You look awfully pleased,” said Wanda when Pietro finally came out to the parking lot.

“I’ve got a date tomorrow,” Pietro explained.

“It’s about time,” Wanda teased, linking arms with him. “You two have been making eyes at each other for weeks.”

“I haven’t been _making eyes_....”

“Yes you have.”

“Nonsense. I was just... admiring...”

“Is there a difference?”

“....I guess not....”

“I’m happy for you, you know.”

“I know.”

 

***

 

Wanda lay on the sofa in their apartment, reading _Harry Potter_ and waiting for Pietro to get home from his date. Their mother had already gone to bed because she had to work early the next morning, so it was just her and her book. It was a little after eleven when the door opened and Pietro walked in, a dazed but happy look on his face. Wanda set down her book and sat up so there was room for her brother on the sofa.

“How’d it go?” she asked.

“Amazing,” said Pietro, collapsing on the seat beside her with the dopiest grin.

“You kissed, didn’t you?” Wanda said knowingly.

“Yeah...”

“And I’m guessing it was good?”

“Magical.”

“Well, I’m assuming you didn’t just kiss him for four hours, so what else did you do?” 

“We went to dinner and a movie,” said Pietro. “Then we got ice cream and walked around for a while.”

“Did you hold hands?” Wanda asked.

“Yeah. For some reason, I expected his hands to be really soft, but they weren’t...” Pietro mused. “I liked it though. He’s got strong hands...”

“You’re a sap, you know that?” said Wanda.

“Yeah, I know.”


	4. Skipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is the mildest of mild sexual content in this chapter. but just in case you're not about that, i thought i'd mention it.

Two months flew by and a cold, wet November descended upon New York. Wanda was at a friend’s house to work on a group project and their mother was at work, so Pietro brought Jason over to their apartment to take shelter from the rain falling from the sky in icy sheets. 

“It’s not much,” said Pietro humbly, kicking off his wet sneakers. 

“It’s great,” said Jason, taking his hand. “Show me around.”

Pietro smiled and took him on the extremely brief tour of their little apartment. They ended in his bedroom, which was rather a mess.

“Sorry about this, I uh... don’t usually have anyone over...” Pietro mumbled, scrambling to toss several dirty socks into the laundry basket.

“Pietro, seriously, don’t worry about it,” Jason chuckled. “I wouldn’t care how messy your room was even if you couldn’t see the floor.”

Pietro shoved a few more things under the bed and straightened up. Jason smiled at him and stepped over a stray book to give him a kiss.

“So, um... when will your mom and Wanda be home?” he asked.

“Probably not for a couple hours,” said Pietro. 

“Okay. So... do you... do you want to...”

Pietro had a feeling he knew what Jason was trying to say and his heart began to race. Jason took a deep nervous breath and closed his eyes, scrunching up his face in that awkward, anxious way he did when he was trying not to be shy.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” he asked all in one breath.

Pietro laughed.

“You are adorable. And yes, I do.”

Jason opened his eyes and looked up at him, the same surprised expression on his face as he’d had when Pietro first agreed to go on a date.

“Really?”

“You’re always so surprised that I’m attracted to you.”

“Well, yeah. You’re gorgeous and I’m...”

“Also gorgeous?” Pietro offered.

“That wasn’t exactly my choice of words,” Jason said.

Pietro smiled and gently removed Jason’s glasses, setting them on the table beside his bed. 

“Well it should be,” he murmured.

He rested his forehead against Jason’s, gazing into his dark brown eyes for a moment before closing the space between them with a kiss. He began to pull them towards the bed, but tripped on a box and dragged them both to the floor instead, laughing as Jason fell clumsily into Pietro’s lap.

 

***

 

Pietro lay on his back with one hand behind his head and the other tangled up in Jason’s hair. Jason was sprawled out on his stomach, lying halfway on top of Pietro with his head resting on his chest. 

“That was my first time, by the way,” Jason admitted.

Pietro looked at him incredulously.

“Impossible. There is no way any man could give a blowjob that spectacular on his first try.”

Jason just shrugged.

“I guess I’m a natural.”

“Apparently,” said Pietro, sighing with a hint of wistfulness. 

“So you liked it?” Jason asked sheepishly.

“No, darling, I’m not at all satisfied,” Pietro said sarcastically. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to do it all over again.”

Jason laughed. The sound made Pietro’s heart leap and he rolled over, pushing Jason onto the bed next to him and kissing him senseless. Suddenly, the sound of the front door echoed down the hall and they broke apart, eyes wide in alarm.

“Shit,” Pietro muttered.

He tried frantically to disentangle himself from the covers and find his clothes. He had successfully managed to get himself even more tangled when Wanda appeared in the doorway of his room. He froze and stared at her guiltily.

“You are so lucky I’m not Mom,” Wanda said before rolling her eyes and retreating to her own room.

“Sorry!” Pietro called after her.

“Maybe next time you should consider closing the door,” she called back.

“That was extremely awkward,” said Jason.

“Yeah it was. Where the hell are my clothes?”

 

***

 

The next Monday at school, Clint interrupted their usual casual small talk with an unexpected question.

“Do you wanna join me and the other Avengers for lunch off campus today?”

“Is that allowed? I’m a junior,” Pietro asked.

“Yeah, sure, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be,” said Clint. 

“Okay, I guess I’ll come,” said Pietro.

“Awesome! I can’t wait to introduce you to the other guys. See you in the parking lot later!” Clint punched him jovially on the shoulder and practically skipped off to class.

 

Pietro felt kind of guilty as he stood in the parking lot at the beginning of lunch period, waiting for the Avengers to arrive. He hadn’t seen Jason or Wanda to tell them he wouldn’t be there for lunch and he felt rather as though he was blowing them off. The fact that he was ditching them to have lunch with an infamous gang only made it worse. But as soon as he saw Clint rounding the corner with the other Avengers in tow, the guilt melted away.

“There he is, there’s my man!” Clint exclaimed excitedly, throwing an arm around Pietro’s shoulders. “This is my locker-buddy, Pietro Maximoff.”

“Hi,” Pietro said with an awkward little wave.

“Oh, right, let me introduce everyone to you,” said Clint. “Okay. You already know Nat, of course. This right here is our fearless leader, Steve Rogers. He voted illegally for three years. That’s his boyfriend Bucky Barnes. He loves _Game of Thrones_ and hates trains. That’s Tony Stark, resident rich boy and certified genius. He’s probably gonna invent some crazy shit and save the world if he doesn’t die first. Then there’s his girlfriend, Pepper Potts. She’s not technically part of the gang, but she’s a badass for putting up with Tony. And this nerd is Bruce Banner. He is the only reason I haven’t bled to death already. There’s Sam Wilson, saver of all our asses on numerous occasions and owner of the best taste in music in the gang. Seriously, everyone else’s music sucks. That’s Rhodey, he’s cooler than all of us combined and has survived being Tony’s friend the longest. And finally, Thor. Our lovable jock with the unstable little brother. Who I believe just landed himself in juvie. Again. There you have it, Pietro. The Avengers.”

Each of the Avengers gave Pietro a little nod or wave as Clint introduced them.

“Shall we go?” Steve said when Clint had finished.

“I’ll drive,” Tony announced.

“Shotgun!” said Sam as they approached an SUV.

“Nuh-uh, Wilson,” said Tony. “I drive so I get the power of veto. Pepper gets shotgun.”

“There’s no veto for shotgun,” Sam protested.

“Sure there is. Careful or I’ll strap you to the top,” Tony said.

Pepper ended up getting shotgun after all and Pietro found himself piled in the trunk with Clint, Natasha, and Thor. They went to Chipotle for lunch, and when they were finished, they all loaded back into the SUV. But Tony didn’t drive them back to the school.

“Um, isn’t lunch period over?” Pietro asked.

“Of course it is, but who says we’ve gotta go back?” said Tony. “We’ve got to initiate you into the land of rebellion, kid. Aka, skipping class!”

“Dammit, Tony, I did not sign up for that...” Bruce groaned.

“What, you got a test today?” Tony asked.

“No, I just...”

“Then what are we waiting for? Freedom!” Tony cried, blazing through a yellow light.

“You’re okay with this, right?” Clint asked Pietro warily.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he replied. “I’m going to need to go back though afterward, to meet my sister.”

“Of course,” said Clint. “Maybe next time she can come with us too.”

 

They pulled back into the Shield High parking lot as the last bus pulled out. Pietro hopped out of the SUV and looked around, but Wanda was nowhere to be seen. 

“She’s probably still inside, I’ll go get her,” he told the others.

He went into the school and began making his way toward Wanda’s locker. She wasn’t there either. Frowning, Pietro turned and headed back to the front doors. As he passed his own locker, he stopped, something catching his eye. He turned around and noticed a piece of paper had been taped to his locker. He tore it down and unfolded it.

“ _If you want your sister back, go with the Avengers to the basement level of the mall parking garage. Tonight, 10:30._ ”

The note was signed not with a name but with a strange drawing in red ink that look vaguely like an octopus. His stomach twisting into knots, Pietro raced outside to where to Avengers stood waiting by the SUV.

“Whoa there, what’s wrong, Maximoff?” Bucky asked.

“She wasn’t there. Someone’s got her, they left this,” Pietro panted, holding out the note.

Steve took it and the others craned their necks to read over his shoulder.

“What does that symbol mean? The drawing?” Pietro asked.

“Hydra,” Natasha replied grimly. “Stark, take us to your place. We’ve got a rescue mission to prep for.”


	5. The Parking Garage

Pietro stood between Clint and Rhodey in the poorly lit parking garage. His fingers were wrapped tightly around the handle of the knife they had given him back at Stark Mansion; it seemed to weigh a ton in his jacket pocket. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to use it. Little clouds drifted around their heads as their breath hit the cold air and somewhere a gutter pipe was dripping. Pietro checked his watch. 10:30. As if on cue, the sound of many approaching footsteps  echoed against the cement walls. Out of the shadows emerged seven teenage boys, all probably 17 or 18, pulling Wanda along with them. Her hands were zip-tied together and her hair was a bit messy, but apart from that she appeared unharmed.

“Wanda!” Pietro said. “Are you okay? Have they hurt you?”

Wanda shook her head.

“Okay, Schmidt, we’re here,” Steve said to the tallest of the Hydra gang. “Give us the girl and we can go our separate ways. She and her brother aren’t part of this, there’s no need to get them involved.”

“It’s too late for that, Rogers,” Schmidt said. “They were involved the minute that boy started talking to Barton.”

Pietro felt Clint shift uncomfortably beside him and gave him a sympathetic look in an attempt to let him know it wasn’t his fault.

“What, are people not allowed to be friends with us now?” Steve scoffed.

“You still think any of you are even capable of having friends outside your gang? That’s rather stupid of you,” said Schmidt. 

“This is ridiculous, are you gonna hand over the girl or not?” Sam interjected.

“No, we’re not.”

“Excuse me?” Pietro said, his grip on the knife in his pocket tightening.

“Easy, buddy,” Clint muttered.

“Not without compensation,” Schmidt continued.

Tony sighed heavily.

“How much do you want?” he said wearily.

“We don’t want your money, Stark. Not this time.”

“Then what _do_ you want?” Rhodey asked.

“Bucky Barnes.”

There was a stunned silence, then Bucky let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Go fuck yourself, Schmidt,” he spat. “You really think I’m just gonna join you?”

“Yes, I do.”

Schmidt nodded curtly to one of the guys holding Wanda. The boy reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun, holding it to Wanda’s head. Pietro immediately started forward and Clint and Rhodey grabbed his arms to stop him. 

“Let go of me,” he said desperately.

“You’re gonna get yourself and Wanda killed, Pietro, let Steve handle this,” Clint pleaded.

“You don’t want to do this, Schmidt,” Steve said, his voice remarkably steady. “She’s an innocent girl. Just tell your guy to put down the gun and we’ll work something out.”

“He’s not going to put down the gun until Barnes agrees to come with us.”

“Seriously, Schmidt?” said a voice from the shadows. “You wanna kill the girl so much that you’ll set up an ultimatum like that? What did she ever do to you?”

“Ah look, the rest of the team decided to show up. Finally,” snarled Schmidt as four more boys stepped into the light, led by–

“Jason?” Pietro gasped.

“You know Frost?” said Clint in surprise.

“Yeah, of course I do,” said Pietro, his heart sinking like a stone. “He’s... he’s my boyfriend.”

Pietro became aware of everyone’s eyes on him, but he barely noticed. 

“Surprised to see me here, sweetheart?” Jason said, coming to stand next to Schmidt.

“You’re in Hydra?” Pietro said.

“Obviously.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because that would kinda have defeated the purpose of spying on you. It wasn’t easy, but I must say it had its advantages. It’s not every day I get to fuck one of the hottest guys in school.”

“You were spying on me?” Pietro said quietly.

“Yeah, I was. Schmidt got word the new kid had made friends with Barton, so he sent me to get close to you. See if I could worm any information on the Avengers out. Granted, I _expected_ to have a bit more time, but patience isn’t always my teammates’ strong suit apparently...” Jason explained. “They had me kidnap Wanda for them before I’d even gotten any decent information from you.”

“I trusted you,” said Pietro, anger starting to burn away his initial shock. “I... I loved you.”

“I know, darling. Such a shame.”

“Did you even care about me at all? Or was it all just pretend? Getting close to me so you could find out about the Avengers and get laid?” Pietro snarled. 

He could feel Clint and Rhodey gripping his arms tighter to keep him from pouncing forward. Jason didn’t answer right away. He took off his glasses, wiped them on his shirt, and put them back on before finally looking up at Pietro again.

“You know what the sick part of it is, sweetheart?” he said at last. “I did care about you. Quite a lot, actually. Who knows, I may have even loved you a bit. Yet here we are, on opposite sides, and my friend’s got a gun to your sister’s head, and I’m perfectly okay with it. And you never saw it coming. Funny how blind love makes you.”

Pietro was shaking, his grip on the knife in his pocket so tight his hand ached. Jason turned to Schmidt.

“You know what? I know you’re the boss and everything, but this has kinda been my pet project for two months,” he said. “Mind if I improvise a bit?”

Schmidt looked beyond peeved.

“It depends on what you’ve got in mind.”

“Well, that’s the fun of improvising, isn’t it? It’s all a surprise.”

Schmidt scowled but nodded. Jason grinned, and the familiarity of that look made Pietro sick to his stomach. 

“Rumlow, if you don’t mind, I’ll take that gun now,” Jason said to the man holding Wanda.

Rumlow handed the gun over with some reluctance and Wanda sighed in relief. Jason turned back around to face the Avengers.

“So, there are ten of you, six bullets,” he said. “That means four of you get to live and tell the tale. And no, you won’t be able to stop me because if you try, Wanda gets all six bullets. So, any volunteers?”

To everyone’s surprise, Bucky stepped forward.

“Buck, no!” Steve said.

“Well, this is exciting! That’s one,” said Jason, aiming the gun at Bucky’s forehead.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold on!” Bucky said quickly, holding up his hands. “That’s not what I’m volunteering for. I want to take Schmidt up on his bargain.”

“Too late for that, Barnes. Bullet number one is your only option now.”

Pietro watched in slow motion as Jason’s finger began to curl around the trigger. Without thinking, he forced himself free of Clint and Rhodey, knocking both of them to the ground, and leapt forward, yanking Jason’s arm upward just as the gun went off. They struggled for a moment, then Jason shoved Pietro away. Pietro steadied himself and glared at Jason, holding his knife out in front of him threateningly. Jason laughed.

“Would you look at that, you _actually_ brought a knife to a gun fight,” he said. “You really are new to this.”

“I’m not afraid to use it, you know,” Pietro said, unable to hide the quaver in his voice.

“You’re missing the point, sweetheart. I’ve got a _gun_. You’ve got a puny little knife. I could shoot you before you even got close enough to cut me.”

“I’m fast.”

“Oh, I know that, believe me. But I doubt you’re faster than a bullet,” said Jason.

“Pietro, please don’t do anything stupid,” Natasha begged.

“I’ve been doing something stupid for two months, I don’t think I can stop now,” Pietro retorted.

“You know you’ve pretty much just gotten your sister killed, right?” said Jason.

“Not if I kill you first,” said Pietro. 

There was a fierce glint in his eyes and for a moment, he actually believed that he would be able to sink that blade into Jason’s heart. He lunched forward, but had barely made it three steps when the second gunshot rang out. Several voices shouted “No!”, but Pietro wasn’t sure whose voices they were or where Jason’s gun had been aimed. Time seemed to freeze for a second. That was when the pain began.


	6. Stages of Agony

It started with the impact, like being punched in the gut. Then the piercing feeling of metal ripping through flesh. Then the throbbing, burning as the pain spread, sweeping over his entire body like a tidal wave. Suddenly he was on the ground and he wasn’t sure how he got there. All his senses were spinning except whatever ones register complete agony. He was aware of voices, someone saying his name, a general sense of panic, faces looming over him. But everything was muffled. It was like he was under water. Then suddenly, he resurfaced and everything went sharp again. Including the pain.

“Pietro. Pietro! Look at me, buddy. You gotta stay awake,” Clint urged him.

But if he slept, the pain would stop...

“We need to get out of here,” said Bruce.

_Great idea, only I can’t move..._

“But can’t they help? Won’t they take him to the hospital?” Wanda asked, sounding scared and tearful.

Pietro became vaguely aware of the approaching sirens.

“Those are the cops, honey,” Bucky said. He was pacing anxiously. “They know who we are, they’re gonna question us, they’ll take us to the station, and he’s gonna fucking die.”

Die?! He was dying?! _Well no shit, you’ve been fucking shot..._

“But someone has to help him,” said Wanda desperately.

_Dear God, please...._

“I can do it,” said Bruce. “But we’ve gotta get out of here. Now.”

“I’ll carry him,” Thor said.

Pietro’s vision was obscured as a mane of golden hair descended upon him. Suddenly he was lifted from the ground by powerful but gentle arms.

“We need to get pressure on that wound as soon as we’re in the car or he’ll bleed to death before we even get home,” Bruce was saying.

Home... oh God, his mother.... she was probably worried sick... what would she think when she found out he’d gotten killed in a gang fight...

“Mom...” he whimpered weakly, too delirious to stop himself.

“Shh, Pietro, it’s okay, it’ll be okay,” said Wanda. “It’s me, I’m here.”

He could feel her hand in his hair, letting him know she was right beside him. Then he was being set down in the back of the SUV and his head was in Wanda’s lap and someone was holding a scarf or something over the bullet hole in his abdomen and _God he just wanted to sleep_...

“Go, now!” Steve urged.

They were speeding out of the parking garage and the jostling of the car was making Pietro’s body hurt even more. Wanda was stroking his hair and whispering comforting things to him and it would all have been very relaxing if everything would just stop hurting so much and he thought maybe if he could just close his eyes for a moment, it would all stop....................

 

***

 

“He’s fainted. Oh God, he’s fainted,” Wanda announced in a panic.

“Dammit, of course he has,” said Bruce. “Tony, pick up the pace!”

“I’m already going 90, Jesus Christ!” Tony shouted back.

“Oh, _now_ you decide to care about speeding?!” Bruce said impatiently.

“Dude, I’m already going 50 over and there are still cars on the road. Do you wanna die?” Tony snapped.

“No, I don’t, but I don’t want Pietro to die either so haul ass.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t take him to the hospital?” Wanda asked.

“Absolutely. There are too many reasons why that would be a bad idea and about half of them are explaining why your brother got shot,” said Bruce.

“But do you even know how to help him? Have you got any sort of medical equipment or anything?” said Wanda.

“Tony and I have got a lab back at his house that his dad built for us, I’ve got all sorts of medical equipment there that I.... acquired. And I’ve stitched up my friends more times than I can count. Though I will admit I’ve never removed a bullet before...” Bruce confessed.

“Oh God, seriously?” Pietro groaned weakly.

“Fantastic, you’re awake,” said Bruce. “Don’t pass out on us again, you scared us half to death.”

“No promises,” said Pietro.

They screeched to a stop at last and Wanda had to brace herself to avoid being thrown forward. 

“Go in through the back entrance,” Tony told them. “I wouldn’t put it past any of my family to call the cops on us for bringing home a dude with a bullet wound.”

They unloaded and Thor carried Pietro into the house. Wanda hurried along behind him, refusing to let her brother out of her sight. When they got into the lab, Tony locked the door behind them. Thor set Pietro down on the table in the middle of the room and Bruce stripped off Pietro’s jacket and t-shirt. Wanda’s knees went weak at the sight of all the blood.

“Shit...” Bruce muttered. “He’s lost a lot... Wanda, do you happen to know his blood type?”

“Uh, yeah, I think it’s A negative,” she replied.

“Dammit, I’m out of that one... Sam, I’m sorry but we’re gonna need an emergency refill...” 

“No problem,” said Sam, shedding his coat and taking a seat.

“Nat, hook him up, and don’t forget to give him the juice this time,” Bruce ordered, pulling on some rubber gloves and a lab coat. “Tony, I need some whiskey.”

“Um, why?”

“Liquid courage.”

He opened a drawer and pulled out what looked like a very heavy duty kind of tweezers. Tony came back with a bottle of whiskey and Bruce took it, unscrewing the cap and downing a swig before handing it back. 

“Nat, let me know when you’ve got enough blood from Sam, I’m gonna need to give Pietro a transfusion as soon as possible,” he said. “Now time for the hard part.”

He took a deep breath and very carefully inserted the tweezers into the wound. Wanda watched, vaguely aware that she was holding her breath but not daring to let it out as though a sudden exhale might screw everything up. After what seemed like an age, Bruce straightened up, a bloodstained bullet held fast in the tweezers. Wanda sighed in relief.

“He got lucky,” said Bruce. “It didn’t go very deep so it wasn’t even close to hitting any organs. The worst of it now is the blood loss. Steve, bring me the anesthetic, I need to stitch this thing up.”

He set to work cleaning the wound. Steve returned with a syringe and a little bottle and Bruce took it from him, filling up the syringe before giving Pietro the injection. Then he started sewing the wound shut. Wanda began to feel light headed again, so she found the nearest chair and pulled it close to the end of the table by Pietro’s head so she could be near him but wouldn’t have to watch Bruce’s careful stitches.

“Bruce, we’ve got enough,” Natasha announced.

“I’m gonna need a lie down though,” said Sam.

“Perfect, thank you,” said Bruce. “Tony, prep it for me please.”

He finished the stitches and helped Tony set up.

“And now we hope for the best.”

“Thank you,” Wanda said quietly.

“We’re not out of the woods yet. But you’re welcome,” Bruce replied.

Wanda nodded and turned back to her brother. He was unconscious again and was frighteningly pale. Little droplets of sweat sprinkled across his forehead, making his hair cling to his skin. Wanda brushed her fingers through the damp locks and sighed. Her phone rang suddenly and she jumped in surprise before digging it out of her pocket.

“Oh no. It’s my mom. She’s going to be wondering where we are, what should I tell her?” she asked in a panic.

“Just say you’re spending the night at a friend’s house,” said Natasha.

“On a Monday?”

“You’re working on a project and it ran late.”

“Okay,” said Wanda. She accepted the call. “Hi Mom.”

“Wanda, where are you and your brother? I’ve been calling you,” her mother scolded.

“Sorry, my phone died, I had to borrow a charger,” Wanda lied. “We’ve been working on a project at a friend’s house, but it’s taken longer than we thought so we’re spending the night.”

“It’s a school night,” said her mom.

“I know, they’re going to give us a ride tomorrow. Sorry I didn’t call to let you know.”

“It’s fine this time, just don’t let it happen again. I’ve been worried sick, there was something on the news about gunshots being heard not far from here.”

“Sorry we worried you, Mom. See you tomorrow.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

Wanda hung up and let out an exhausted sigh.

 


	7. Recovery

They all skipped school the next day, and about an hour before Mrs. Maximoff was supposed to get home from work, Bruce and Steve took Wanda and Pietro home. Wanda led the way and held doors as the other two carried Pietro into the apartment and laid him in his bed.

“What should I tell my mom when she gets home?” Wanda asked.

“Say he came down with something,” Steve suggested. “The flu’s going around, it wouldn’t be that surprising.”

“What about school? Someone should take care of him, but I can’t just skip until he’s better,” said Wanda.

“I’ve already got that part figured out,” said Bruce. “We discussed it while you were sleeping last night. The gang’s gonna take it in turns, everybody skips a day to sneak in here and make sure he’s doing alright, give him painkillers, all that.”

“Are you sure?” Wanda asked. “I wouldn’t want any of you to get in trouble for our sake.”

“None of us are exactly strangers to cutting class,” said Steve. “And besides, your brother’s life is worth getting detention.”

“Thank you. I could never repay you for everything you’ve done since last night.”

“No need,” Steve replied. “You don’t have to be one of our own for us to help.”

“After what’s happened, I’m not sure we’ve really got a choice but to join you,” said Wanda.

“Nonsense. You’ve always got a choice,” Steve said.

“Not according to Hydra.”

“Let us deal with those bastards. You just take care of your brother for now.”

 

***

 

Pietro was beginning to get restless. It had been a week since he was shot, but he wasn’t yet well enough to leave bed for very long without help. Not that he’d been expecting to heal at a miraculous pace, but he rather hated being cooped up. Recovering was proving particularly unpleasant since none of the drugs Bruce was giving him were actually strong enough to kill the pain.The one perk to being trapped in bed with a secret bullet wound was the Avengers coming to visit during school hours. He’d protested at first, insisting he didn’t need babysitting, but after passing out trying to get to the bathroom without help (Natasha was standing by, watching in amused exasperation), he agreed it was probably a good idea. 

 

The variety in their sickbed entertainment methods was vast and rather amusing. Bucky brought over season one of _Game of Thrones_ and sang along to the theme song at the start of each episode (they got through half the season by the time Wanda came home). Sam gave him some fighting pointers, “in light of recent events” he said. Rhodey taught him how to play poker and the next day Tony taught him how to cheat at poker. Thor told a bunch of wild stories about the Avengers’ adventures, half of which Pietro doubted were true (“Nope, they definitely are,” Clint told him the next day. “There is no way Thor wrestled an escaped lion to save you from being eaten.” “Okay, that one’s a lie. The rest are true though.”). 

 

“I never thought I’d say this, but I rather wish I could go to school tomorrow,” said Pietro.

It was Sunday and Wanda was sitting across from him on his bed. Pietro was trying to teach her poker and was doing a terrible job of it.

“It’s probably a good thing you can’t right now, actually,” Wanda said. “Gives things time to blow over, with Hydra and... you know...”

Pietro felt an ache in his chest that had nothing to do with his injury.

“Have you seen him?” he asked quietly, glaring at his cards to avoid catching his sister’s eye.

“A couple times,” Wanda replied. “Hydra’s a bit freaked, apparently. According to Tony, none of them have ever actually killed anyone, so you’re the closest they’ve gotten. They may be mean but they’re still just a bunch of kids like us.”

“Yeah, a bunch of kids who kidnapped and threatened you, sent one of their friends to trick me into falling in love with him, threatened to blow Bucky’s head off, and nearly got me killed...” Pietro said bitterly.

“Okay, you’ve got a point,” Wanda paused and Pietro could tell she was watching him sadly even as he continued to glare determinedly at his cards. “Are you doing okay? And I’m not talking about you getting shot.”

Pietro sighed and finally set down his cards, but he still didn’t look at her. 

“But it is still about me getting shot, isn’t it? I mean, he’s the one who shot me. As if finding out he was the enemy and wasn’t ever _really_ interested in me wasn’t painful enough, he almost killed me too. And you know what the really messed up part of all this is? This entire week that I’ve been lying here in pain, barely alive because of him, I’ve almost managed to convince myself it was my fault. That he didn’t _mean_ to shoot me. That he accidentally pulled the trigger because I was angry and tried to attack him. He nearly killed me and here I am thinking it was _my fault_.”

“But it wasn’t,” said Wanda, and the pain in her voice hurt nearly as much as everything else that had happened that week. “How could it possibly be?”

“Because I love him,” Pietro whispered. “And I know I shouldn’t, not anymore, but it’s not that easy to hate him, even after everything. It’s so much easier to make excuses, to blame myself.”

Wanda leaned forward and very gently pulled him into a hug. He buried his face in her shoulder and hugged her back, willing himself not to cry. He’d done so well this far, he didn’t want to break that streak. 

“You don’t have to hate him,” Wanda said. “No one is asking that of you. Just don’t blame yourself. You’ve gone through enough without causing yourself that extra pain.”

So much for not crying. 


	8. Officially Avengers

It took Pietro another week to heal enough that he could go to school without needing a lie-down by third period. He still had to sit out of gym class and it hurt to laugh too hard, but seeing as he ran into Jason within five minutes of arriving on his first day back, which pretty much ruined his day, he figured he wouldn’t have to worry about that. On top of that, missing two weeks of school three weeks before finals was a pretty awful idea it turned out, so he had a lot to catch up on.

“I’ve gone to four classes today and I’ve already got more homework than I’ve had in the last month,” Pietro complained as he, Wanda, and the Avengers sat in the Taco Bell around the corner from campus during lunch period. “This amount of stress cannot be good for me.”

“Don’t worry about it, buddy. It’s all arbitrary, I barely do my homework and I still ace all my finals,” said Tony.

“Easy for you to say, Stark, you’re a fucking genius,” Clint said through a mouthful of burrito. “You could be taking grad level classes.”

“And yet here I am among you plebeians. I wonder why that is.”

“It’s ‘cause you don’t do your damn homework,” said Rhodey.

“Seriously though, if I don’t show up to school tomorrow it’s because my wound reopened spontaneously out of stress and I bled to death in the kitchen,” said Pietro.

“Why the kitchen?” Clint asked.

“Because I was probably getting ice cream at four in the morning to drown my sorrows.”

“Ice cream? It’s twenty degrees out!”

“Alternate cause of death: freezing to death from eating ice cream in the dead of winter,” said Sam.

“I’m from Russia. This is nothing,” Pietro scoffed.

“Oh-ho, look at you, Princess Elsa,” teased Clint.

“That’s _Queen_ Elsa to you, Barton.”

“I cannot believe I associate with you people...” Natasha said, rolling her eyes.

 

***

 

The semester ended and winter break began. Wanda and Pietro celebrated Hanukkah with their mother while all their friends prepared for Christmas. Steve invited them to the Avengers’ Secret Santa party, which was immediately rechristened the “Secret Mysterious Gift Giver” party the moment they told him they were Jewish. The party was at Tony’s house, as he had the most space and the most lenient parents where partying was concerned. The music was loud, the eggnog was spiked (Wanda didn’t mind so much at first, until Pietro drank a bit more than would allow him to pass for sober when they got home), and the gifts were a combination of ridiculous and oddly fitting for both the givers and receivers. In the end, the party was a massive success and the invitation for a similar party on New Years’ was issued and accepted.

 

The New Years’ party was similarly loud and successful, only this time instead of spiked eggnog, they had five huge bottles of champagne.

“How the hell do you keep getting all this alcohol?” Wanda asked.

“My dad has a whole room pretty much dedicated to booze and he’s too busy to care if I become an alcoholic before it’s legal,” Tony replied, pouring himself his third glass.

The party migrated to the rooftop balcony a little before midnight, where they had a perfect view of the Time Square fireworks show. Once the fireworks were over, they all staggered back inside to finish the final bottle of champagne (“you’ve gotta finish it once it’s open,” Tony told them). Since the party was so late, they were all invited to spend the night, which Wanda was very grateful for as this time it wasn’t just Pietro who would have been going home drunk.

 

A week later, the new semester started and by now, it was pretty widely known at Shield High that Wanda and Pietro Maximoff had joined the Avengers. Having any sort of school-wide fame was an extremely unusual concept to Wanda, but the fact that this brand of fame guaranteed her immunity from the bullies that had previously considered her weird and had also given her a large group of loyal friends was enough to make the fact that several strangers knew her name much less uncomfortable. She was still a bit hesitant about the Avengers being a gang, but they were so incredibly unlike any gang she’d heard of that she was learning not to mind. Mostly, they just drank at Tony’s parties, cut class sometimes, and beat the shit out of bullies, though occasionally they’d steal something or get into a really stupid fight. 

 

“You know, I’m surprised Hydra hasn’t been giving us much trouble since the parking garage incident,” Sam said one day after school.

“It’s weird, I thought for sure they’d come straight for us the second they heard Pietro and I officially signed on,” said Wanda.

“It’s a bit suspicious, don’t you think?” Natasha said. “You’re right, Wanda, normally they’d have done something by now.”

“Maybe they think I’m a ghost come back to haunt them and now they’re too scared,” Pietro suggested.

“You’re not a ghost, you’re an idiot,” Clint said.

“In all seriousness though, I think Nat’s right,” said Steve. “Something’s not right about this.”

“You think they’re planning something?” asked Bruce.

“Maybe. We better watch each others’ backs, just in case.”


	9. Party Crashers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't wanna spoil anything, but bad shit happens in this chapter. it's not triggery, just bad shit. just so you can't say i didn't warn you.

“Sooo, guys, guess what,” Tony said, joining the rest of the Avengers by the SUV at lunch period on Friday. It was early March and the first sunny day in months. “My parents are out of town all weekend _and_ they brought Jarvis with them. You know what that means?”

“No?” said Wanda.

“The wildest party you have ever seen! Tonight, starting at eleven. Music, booze, maybe even something a little more hardcore if I can swing it... be there or be square, kids.” 

“Oh Jesus Christ, Tony, please do not get LSD this time,” Bruce begged.

“What happened last time?” Pietro asked.

“Sam thought he could fly and tried to jump off the balcony,” said Bucky.

“I’ll second the LSD veto,” Wanda said adamantly.

 

***

 

Tony’s party more than delivered. It was still just the Avengers and Pepper, but their enthusiasm made up for their small numbers. There was music and dancing and what Pietro suspected was Howard Stark’s entire supply of booze. Tony had also managed to get his hands on more weed than all of them would be able to smoke in a night. 

“Sorry I couldn’t find you kids anything crazier,” he said, dumping several plastic bags of the stuff on the coffee table.

“Holy shit, how’d you get all of that?” Bucky asked.

“I’m rich, remember?”

“Since when do you know drug dealers?” said Pepper suspiciously.

“Since this afternoon. And now he’s got enough money to quit dealing, so I was being a good Samaritan,” said Tony. “ _And_ we all get to get high as kites tonight so everybody wins.”

 

Three hours later, the party had gone a bit to the wild side. Remembering his hangover from the New Year’s party, Pietro had opted to stick mostly to the pot this time, but many of the others had gone all out and done everything. There were several empty bottles lying around and they had gone through three bags of weed and started on a fourth. Sam and Bucky had raided the kitchen at least five times for snacks, Wanda and Natasha were dancing on a table together, and Bruce was so crossfaded he’d resorted to just lying on the sofa giggling at literally everything Tony said. 

 

Suddenly, the music and all the lights turned off, throwing them into darkness.

“What the fuck just happened?” Clint said.

“Power outage?” Pepper suggested.

“No, then the emergency lights would’ve come on automatically,” said Tony.

“You’ve got emergency lights?” said Pietro.

“Yeah, hang on, I’ll have to put them on manually...”

There was a crash, a muttered curse, and a pause, then a red light started slowly flashing, leaving periods of darkness between moments of ruddy light. It was extremely disorienting, especially considering how high Pietro was.

“Dammit, wrong emergency light. Dad’s really gotta label these things better.”

“You have _two_ emergency lights?” Pietro said incredulously.

“One’s for power outages, the other’s for actual emergencies.”

“Like what?”

“Oh shit.”

“Tony? What’s wrong?” Pepper asked.

Pietro looked at Tony, whose eyes had gone wide.

“They’re here,” he said.

“Who are?” said Bucky, sounding a bit panicky.

“Hydra.”

Everyone turned to look where Tony was staring just in time to see the huge window behind them explode into a thousand pieces. Pietro ducked behind the sofa to avoid the flying shards of glass. Then there was chaos. The flashing emergency light threw everything into confusion; the light would turn on for a moment, then darkness, then back on and whoever was beside you would be gone or a Hydra member was lunging at your throat. There were screams and crashes and gunshots and people calling each others’ names, but there was no knowing which direction any sound was coming from. All Pietro had to defend himself was an empty wine bottle, but still he scrambled through the chaos, trying to find Wanda or any of the Avengers, but most of all, trying to stay alive.

Pietro suddenly found himself in an empty room. Or so it seemed.

“Ah, Pietro my darling!” an all-too familiar voice crooned from the shadows. “I’m so glad you survived me shooting you. It would have been such a shame for you to have died without giving me the pleasure of actually killing you on purpose.”

Pietro whipped around, viciously throwing the wine bottle in the direction of the voice. It smashed against the wall and the red light flashed back on to reveal Jason standing a few feet from where the bottle had landed, laughing.

“Nice try, hon.”

“Leave now, or I’ll kill you,” said Pietro as the lights turned off again.

“With what?” Jason scoffed. “You just threw your weapon at the wall.”

The lights turned on again. Pietro’s already racing heart flew into overdrive – Jason was holding a gun, aimed right at his head.

“Sorry, sweetheart. It’s nothing personal,” he hissed.

The lights went out again. The gunshot rang out and something collided hard with Pietro, knocking him to the ground, but it wasn’t a bullet. The lights turned back on. Jason was standing over him, a horrified, furious look on his face. And lying at Pietro’s feet, clutching a wound from which blood was pouring far too quickly, was Clint.

“No!” Pietro shouted, scrambling to Clint’s side as the lights went out.

In the dark, he took off his jacket and pulled Clint’s trembling body into his lap, trying to staunch the flow of blood. The lights turned back on and Jason was gone. Pietro looked down at Clint. He was too pale, too soon and the terrified look in his brave eyes scared Pietro more than being held at gunpoint had. He lifted his jacket for a moment to see the damage done.

“Oh God....”

The bullet had pierced Clint’s chest a mere inch from his heart. The room went dark again as the tears came, because Pietro knew what was going to happen and there wasn’t time to stop it.

“Why did you do that?” he asked in a choked voice.

“I couldn’t let you–”

The lights came back on and Clint’s eyes were glassy and unseeing. 

“No,” Pietro whispered desperately. “Please wake up. Oh God, please. Please come back.”

But it was too late and he knew it. He’d known it from the moment he’d seen Clint bleeding at his feet. The tears came in earnest now, sobs more painful than a million bullet wounds. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against Clint’s and held him closer. The sounds of the attack died out around him and the emergency lights were replaced by the regular ones, but he didn’t notice. He didn’t even notice the quickly approaching footsteps.

“Clint?”

Pietro looked up. Natasha was standing in the doorway of the room, staring in disbelief at the scene before her. Slowly, as though sleepwalking, she staggered forward and fell to her knees at his side. There were tears in her eyes and as Pietro watched, one streamed down her face. She reached out a trembling hand and gently placed it on Clint’s pale cheek, then took a shaky breath as though trying to force herself to keep in control. Then she broke down. Pietro looked away; watching Natasha cry felt invasive. He knew he should try to comfort her, but he didn’t know how when there was no comfort left in him to give.


	10. Man Down

The remaining Avengers sat together in silence, surrounded by broken glass and empty bottles. Outside, the lights of over a dozen police cars and ambulances flashed while the cops searched the house for any lingering intruders and for Bucky, who none of them had seen since Hydra attacked. The paramedics had collected Clint’s body, wheeling him out past where the rest of the Avengers had gathered, Pietro and Natasha trailing behind. The others’ reactions had opened a fresh wound for Pietro, and he had only recently been able to stop crying. And now they just sat there, waiting in silence. A young, kind-looking cop came over to them.

“Which one of you is Steve Rogers?” he asked.

Steve stood up.

“I’m sorry, but we couldn’t find Barnes on the premises,” the cop said. “No hint, no body even. But we’re gonna keep looking ‘til we find him, I promise.”

“Thank you,” Steve said quietly.

As he sat back down, the cop turned to Pietro.

“You were with Clint Barton when he died, correct?”

Pietro nodded.

“Can I ask you some questions?”

Pietro shrugged and the cop came over and sat on the edge of the coffee table to he could look Pietro in the eye.

“Do you know who shot Clint Barton?”

“Jason Frost,” Pietro answered, his voice hoarse from crying.

“Do you know why Frost wanted to kill him?” the cop asked.

“Jason wanted to kill _me_. Clint saved my life. He wasn’t supposed to die.”

“Okay... do you know why Frost wanted to kill _you_ then?”

“He’s my ex...” Pietro said.

“Rough breakup?” 

“He kidnapped my sister and threatened to kill my friends.”

“Oh...” the cop looked rather alarmed. “Did he ever... show signs of violence while you were dating him? Was he abusive in any way?”

“No, he seemed perfectly normal,” Pietro replied. “He was nice, caring, a bit shy... but it was all fake...”

“Do you know what he was doing with the others who attacked here tonight?” the cop asked.

“He’s part of their gang. Hydra.”

“Hydra’s on our radar, but we’ve never caught them on anything more than misdemeanors. Do you know why they wanted to cause such damage to you and your friends?”

Pietro paused, unsure of how to answer. To tell the truth would be to betray the Avengers. But to lie might mean Clint’s killer walked free. He looked over at Steve, silently asking his permission. Steve nodded and Pietro understood what he meant immediately.

“We’re their rivals,” he said. “The Avengers.”

The cop raised his eyebrows and he looked almost impressed.

“So, _these_ are the illusive Avengers?” he said, looking around at them all. “We’ve heard about you, but I was beginning to think you were some kind of urban legend. But tell me, why would Frost date a member of his rival gang?”

“My family only moved here last summer,” Pietro explained. “I wasn’t part of the Avengers when I met Jason, but I had already met Clint. Jason was sent by Hydra’s leader to get close to me as a way of spying on the Avengers.”

“And was he successful?”

“No. I didn’t meet most of the Avengers until earlier on the same day I found out Jason was part of Hydra.”

“And the only reason he’s got for trying to kill you is that he’s your ex and you’re in rival gangs?”

Pietro nodded.

“Thank you for your cooperation,” the cop said kindly. He stood and spoke to all of them now. “I’m going to be staying here with you guys while we work on contacting all of your families to pick you up. Mr. and Mrs. Stark have already been called and are on their way now. If anyone needs something, give me a shout and I’ll see what I can do.”

 

***

 

It was around four in the morning when Tony’s parents arrived. Tony went straight to his mom, but his dad just stood there, staring around with an unreadable expression on his face. It wasn’t until nearly seven that anyone else’s parents showed up. Thor’s father came first, followed by a thin, black-haired boy Wanda figured must be Thor’s brother Loki. Thor’s father looked livid and led his son away without a word, but Loki just kept staring at his brother with an odd expression that might have been pity. Bruce’s father arrived next, a stony expression on his face as he took his son by the arm and very nearly dragged him from the premises. When Steve’s mother arrived, it was an entirely different story. She hugged Steve the moment she came in, then went around and gave each of the Avengers a hug before taking him home. Then Pietro and Wanda’s mother came. She had worked a nightshift at the diner and was still in her work clothes. She pulled the twins into her arms and kissed them both on the cheek, then drove them home, where she made them each a mug of hot tea, then sent them to bed.

 

***

 

Monday was fittingly rainy and cold. News of what had happened over the weekend was sure to have spread through the school like wildfire, and Pietro dreaded walking through those doors. The first step to surviving the day was going to his locker, which he knew would be painfully lonely without Clint there. What he wasn’t expecting was someone to have thrown together a makeshift memorial in front of Clint’s locker. Pietro froze in the middle of the hallway, staring at the picture of Clint smiling at him from the locker door. Then he turned and ran into the bathroom, barely slamming the stall door behind him before breaking down sobbing. He had barely collected himself when the first period bell rang and he went to his English class with red eyes and none of his books.

 

None of the Avengers felt much up to leaving campus for lunch, so they all crowded around a table in the cafeteria and tried to ignore their staring colleagues and Clint’s gaping absence. 

“How’s everyone holding up?” Sam asked.

“The cops still haven’t found Bucky,” said Steve.

“My dad won’t let me leave the house except for school,” Bruce said.

“My dad kicked me out,” said Thor. “I’m staying with Steve.”

“I need to request a new locker,” Pietro said.

The others looked at him like he’d sprouted a new head.

“I can’t go back there,” he explained. “Someone set up a memorial...”

Wanda put a comforting hand on his arm. 

“The funeral is this Sunday,” Natasha announced, breaking the silence that had fallen. “My parents said they’re willing to give any of you a ride who needs it.”

Pietro looked over at her sadly. She was truly remarkable; she had lost the boy she loved more than anything less than three days ago, yet here she was trying to sound as normal as possible for everyone else’s benefit despite the misery they all knew she was feeling.

 

***

 

The funeral was a small, quiet affair. The only people there were Clint’s aunt and uncle (his parents had died several years ago), Natasha’s parents, and the Avengers. After the funeral, Pietro went up to the Bartons.

“My name is Pietro Maximoff. I’m a friend of Clint’s,” he said.

“It’s nice to meet you, Pietro,” Clint’s aunt said. “Were you and Clint close?”

“Very,” said Pietro. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for what happened.”

“Hang on, I know who you are,” Clint’s uncle said suddenly. “You’re the one whose sorry ass my nephew died saving, aren’t you?”

“I, uh... yes, I am,” Pietro said, wary of the man’s choice of words.

“If it weren’t for you, Clint would be alive right now.”

Pietro’s stomach twisted unpleasantly, but he didn’t respond.

“And all because you went out with a psychopath,” Clint’s uncle continued. “It should’ve been you they put in the ground, not him.”

“John!” Clint’s aunt said, appalled.

Pietro felt sick, but he couldn’t find the words to defend himself. Thankfully, Natasha swooped in and took his arm, saying,

“Come on, my parents are ready to drive you home.”

Once they were out of earshot of Clint’s aunt and uncle, Pietro turned to Natasha.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Natasha replied. “Clint’s uncle isn’t always the nicest, to put it lightly. And he’s always been shit at handling grief.”

“He wasn’t wrong though,” said Pietro quietly. “Clint _would_ be alive if it wasn’t for me.”

“Don’t talk like that, Pietro,” said Natasha. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Clint _chose_ to save you, even though he knew he might die doing it.”

“Your boyfriend is dead because of me,” Pietro said. “You should be furious that I’m alive and he’s not. Why are you defending me?”

“Did you pull the trigger?” Natasha asked.

“I might as well have...”

“Answer the question.”

“...No...”

“Then it’s not your fault,” said Natasha. “You didn’t kill him, Pietro. Jason did. So he’s the only one I’m mad at. Clint wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. He knew what he was doing when he saved you. Respect his choice.”

“Is that how you get by?” Pietro asked.

“Yeah. It is.”

 


	11. The Factory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for this chapter: sexual assault/attempted rape

The Thursday after Clint’s funeral, the Avengers were sitting together at lunch when Tony pulled out his laptop and ordered them all to listen up.

“So, I haven’t been idle these last few weeks,” he announced. “The cops have been pretty useless in finding either Bucky or Hydra, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I uh... taught myself how to hack into accounts and surveillance footage and I’ve managed to get a _lot_ of info.”

“How the hell did you teach yourself to be a hacker?” Rhodey asked.

“Google. They’re not kidding when they say that literally everything is on the internet,” said Tony. “Anyway, I’ve been tracking Hydra’s actions through their bank accounts and security footage from the places they’ve made purchases. Mostly it’s been food and other essentials, but they’ve also been slowly stocking up on weapons and other dangerous shit. Last night I finally was able to get footage from a gas station parking lot and picked up the plate number on the car they’ve been using. I was up ‘til nearly five, but I was able to track the car to an abandoned factory just outside town. I bet you anything that’s where they’ve been keeping Bucky and hiding out.”

“Hold on, you think they’re holding Bucky prisoner?” said Steve.

“I know they are,” Tony replied. “I also hacked into my house’s security footage and saw Rumlow and Zola nab Bucky almost immediately after they attacked.”

“So what are we gonna do?” Wanda asked.

“We’re gonna go rescue Bucky. First thing after school let’s out today. I’ve already got everything we’ll need in the SUV,” Tony said.

“Shouldn’t we tell the police what you’ve found?” said Wanda nervously. “You said they’ve been gathering weapons. Going in there ourselves... someone could get killed.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly acquire this information legally, did I? And don’t worry, we’re gonna be a hell of a lot more prepared for them this time. They won’t even know we’re coming.”

 

***

 

Wanda was still feeling extremely wary of Tony’s plan as they geared up in the school parking lot. Everyone had a knife and a can of mace tucked in their pockets, but Tony had something else for them. He pulled out a heavy-duty box and took a deep breath before opening it. Inside were nine handguns.

“I stole these from my dad’s work room. They’re not super fancy like a lot of his projects are, they’ve just got built in mufflers and a really mild kick, but... I thought it might be a good idea after last time...” he picked one up. “I wasn’t able to steal any extra ammo so each one’s only got ten shots, which should be more than enough honestly. None of you has to take one. But if you want...”

Natasha was the first to take one. After a moment’s hesitation, Steve, Sam, and Rhodey each grabbed one too. Then, to Wanda’s surprise, Pietro picked one up as well. 

 

***

 

The SUV pulled up outside the abandoned factory and the Avengers all got out. Pietro was hyper aware of the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d actually be able to use it if he found himself faced with the option. They slipped silently through the big double doors and fanned out, searching for any sign of where Hydra was keeping Bucky. Eventually Pietro found himself in a small and clearly empty wing of the building. He glanced around to discover that none of the others had followed him there. He rolled his eyes; he was no expert, but he was pretty sure the buddy system was an integral part of raiding enemy fortresses. As he turned to leave, he found his way blocked by Jason.

“Hello again, sweetheart,” Jason said. “So sorry about Barton. It’s a real shame, especially since he was never supposed to die.”

Pietro felt a blind rage boiling inside him. He thought he knew the answer now to his question from before, but he had forgotten all about the gun. He lunged forward, entirely prepared to kill Jason with his bare hands. Pietro’s first punch hit Jason square on the jaw, but his second was blocked and quickly reciprocated. No one had really taught Pietro how to fight like this, and it was obvious that Jason far outmatched him, but his anger and adrenaline fueled him enough that he was able to hold his own, at least for a while. Suddenly, Jason grabbed Pietro’s wrist and twisted his arm up behind his back, slamming him face first into the dirt floor. Pietro struggled but Jason just laughed. He felt the weight of the gun leave his lower back as Jason slid it from his waistband. 

“Did you really think you’d be able to use this?” Jason scoffed.

He tossed the gun aside and Pietro saw it land several feet beyond his reach. Jason suddenly turned him onto his back, pinning his hands on either side of his head.

“I’m gonna kill you,” he said softly. “But first, I’m gonna make you suffer.”

Oh God, he was about to get tortured. At least his inevitable screams would lead someone to rescue him. Jason held Pietro’s left arm down with his knee and pulled out a knife. Then he stabbed it through the sleeve of Pietro’s jacket. Pietro yelped in pain as the blade sliced against his skin, pinning his arm in such a way that if he attempted to tear his sleeve free, the edge of the knife would dig further into his wrist. Jason’s now free hand had made its way down Pietro’s torso and was now in the process of unbuckling his belt. Pietro felt an unpleasant jolt of fear. Torture was not what Jason had planned for him. Pietro took a deep breath to yell for help, but Jason’s mouth crashed into his, silencing him with a violent kiss. He broke away, his face inches from Pietro’s.

“If you try to call for help, I’ll cut your tongue out,” he snarled.

“Please, Jason,” Pietro begged. “You want to kill me, so fucking kill me. Just don’t do this.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” said Jason with a smirk.

Pietro squeezed his eyes shut as though that would block out what was about to happen. Jason was now slowly inching Pietro’s jeans down his hips, still holding Pietro’s right arm down with a grip so tight he was beginning to lose feeling in his fingers. Before he could get any further, Jason’s weight was lifted from him and Pietro opened his eyes to see Thor slam Jason against a brick wall, holding him several inches above the ground so they were eye to eye.

“If you _ever_ try to touch him again, I will cut off your hands,” Thor growled menacingly.

He dropped Jason, who scrambled to his feet and ran away. Pietro pulled the knife from his sleeve, wincing as the blade made another cut on his arm, and tossed it aside. Thor came over and held out his hand. Pietro took it and let himself be dragged to his feet. He had barely stood a second before his knees gave way; Thor caught him before he fell and helped him back up. 

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Pietro didn’t answer. He rebuckled his belt and looked up at Thor.

“Thanks for saving me,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” Thor replied. “Come on, the others will be worried.”

 

***

 

When they got outside, the other Avengers were waiting by the car for them. Pietro had been feeling more and more nauseous as he and Thor made their way through the factory. Wanda hurried over, arms outstretched to hug him, but a final wave of nausea swept over him and he bolted behind a bush, fell to his knees, and vomited. As he knelt among the leaves, catching his breath, he could faintly hear Thor explaining to the others what had happened. Pietro spat the taste of bile from his mouth and returned to the others. They were all staring at him with varying expressions of shock and pity, but he just passed them by and got into the car. He was surprised to discover that it wasn’t empty – Bucky was huddled in the backseat, covered in dirt, bruises, and blood. Pietro stared at him. He barely looked like the same man he had last seen at Tony’s party. He supposed he wasn’t really. Neither of them were.

“Are you alright?” Pietro asked.

“No. You?” Bucky mumbled.

“No.”

The other Avengers got into the car and Tony drove them to the hospital. Steve got out and opened the back door, helping Bucky out of his seat.

“Thor, can you tell my mom where I am?” Steve said.

“Of course,” Thor replied.

“Pietro, do you need –?” Steve asked tentatively.

“No,” Pietro said firmly. “I just need to go home.”

 

***

 

The moment they got back to their apartment, Pietro went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He stripped off his clothes, leaving them piled on the floor, and turned on the shower. He felt dirty, tainted. The hot water stung the cuts on his arm, but he ignored it as he washed his hair and body, scrubbing so hard he knew it would leave raw patches on his skin. He stood under the water as the suds washed away. His arm was still bleeding, making a thin stream of blood among the soapy water. A strangled sob escaped him and he sunk to his knees, watching through blurred vision as his own blood swirled down the drain. He wasn’t sure how long he knelt there, but it must have been a while because the water began to go cold. He turned off the shower and stepped out. Once he’d dried off, he opened the medicine cabinet and took out some gauze and medical tape, then bandaged up his injured arm. Then he wrapped his towel around his waist, scooped up his clothes, went to his room and slammed the door.


	12. Rescue Mission

Pietro had been in his room for nearly two hours before Wanda knocked on his door. He didn’t answer, so she waited and tried again for over five minutes. Finally, she sighed heavily and opened the door. The lights were off and the curtains were closed. Pietro was curled up on his bed wearing just boxers and a t-shirt, but Wanda could tell he was awake. She turned on the light. 

“Oh, Pietro,” she murmured sadly.

His eyes were red and his face was wet with tears. It looked like he hadn’t stopped crying since they got home. Wanda knelt on the floor next to his bed and gently laid her hand on his arm. He flinched but didn’t pull away.

“Thor told us what happened,” she said. “God, I wish there was something I could do.”

“Well, there isn’t,” Pietro said. His voice was hoarse.

“I know,” Wanda paused. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“I suppose that was rather a stupid question...”

They fell silent for several minutes.

“I’m just so sick of this,” Pietro said finally.

“Of what?”

“Jason preying on us. Preying on _me_. It’s only a matter of time before someone else gets hurt or dies because of this and I don’t think I could watch that happen again,” Pietro paused for a moment, staring off at something no one else could see. “Jason wants to kill me. Maybe I should just let him.”

“Pietro, no!” Wanda gasped. “You can’t let him get to you. If you let him do that, he wins.”

“You’re right...” said Pietro, still staring. “Maybe I should just do it myself...”

Wanda stared at him, hardly believing what she was hearing. Tears stung her eyes but she ignored them.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I do.”

“But you don’t want to die. Do you?” Honestly, Wanda wasn’t so sure now.

“I don’t know that I _want_ to...” Pietro said. “But if it means I don’t have to watch you or any of the others die because of me, then I don’t think I would mind too much.”

“Pietro, we _can_ make it through this,” Wanda said. “Jason can’t get away with this. He murdered Clint, tortured Bucky, and tried to rape and murder you. Just one of those things would be enough to put him behind bars for decades. And he _will_ go to prison. They’ll catch him and he’ll go to prison and then you’ll be safe. I promise.”

“But how many others will get hurt before that happens?” said Pietro.

“Who says anyone else is getting hurt? I’m not going to let that happen, even if I have to lock all the Avengers in Tony’s basement to stop them from doing anything stupid.”

Wanda thought she saw the tiniest hint of a smile tug at the corner of Pietro’s mouth, but it was gone in a flash. 

“I love you, little sister,” he said quietly.

“I love you too,” Wanda replied. “And I’m barely younger than you.”

“Twelve minutes.”

Wanda knew she saw him smile this time, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Let me know if you need anything. Mom gets off at nine tonight,” she said.

Pietro nodded. Wanda stood up and leaned over to kiss the top of his head before leaving his room, closing the door behind her.

 

***

 

Wanda and Natasha sat on the steps of the Maximoffs’ apartment building as the sky grew darker and the street lamps flickered to life.

“Thanks for coming over,” Wanda said.

“It’s no problem. Today’s been rough, so I was glad to get your call.”

“Any word on Bucky?”

“Steve called earlier,” Natasha said. “They’re keeping Bucky overnight at the hospital. Apparently most of his injuries were just external. The worst of it is a couple broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and two and a half weeks’ worth of barely sleeping or eating.”

“So he’ll be okay,” said Wanda.

“Yeah. How’s Pietro doing?”

“Not good,” Wanda sighed. “He’s traumatized.”

“I can imagine.”

“He was scaring me... talking about letting Jason kill him so no one else gets hurt... even worse, he mentioned doing it himself so Jason wouldn’t get the pleasure of doing it...”

Natasha stared at her, eyes wide.

“You don’t think he’d actually try to....?”

“No, I think he’s just hurting. He said he doesn’t want to die. He just wants us all safe.”

“People will do some stupid, crazy things to keep the people they love safe,” Natasha said softly.

Wanda took Natasha’s hand.

“I know. That’s why I’m scared for him.”

A roll of thunder boomed ominously in the distance and they both looked at the sky.

“A storm’s coming in,” said Wanda. “We should get inside before it hits.”

 

Once they were inside, Wanda got Natasha a drink, then went to check on Pietro. She knocked softly on the door before opening it. 

“Just making sure you’re doing okay. Need anything?” she asked.

There was no response. She turned on the light. Pietro’s bed was empty. Another roll of thunder echoed through the sky, much louder than it should have been from inside. Wanda turned to the window. The curtains were fluttering in the wind and she noticed that the screen had been removed and propped against the wall. 

“Oh no.”

Wanda went to the window and stuck her head out, looking down. They were three stories up, but there was a generator shed in the alley below that lent itself perfectly to climbing out Pietro’s window without getting hurt. Heart racing frantically, Wanda hurried back to the living room.

“We need to call the others,” she announced.

“What? Why?” said Natasha, standing up.

“Pietro’s gone. He climbed out the window. I think he’s gone to find Jason.”

“Shit. You get anything you might need here, I’ll call everyone else and let them know what’s going on.”

Natasha took out her phone and started dialing. Wanda went to her room and opened her nightstand drawer, taking out the knife and can of mace she had taken to the factory earlier. She shoved them in her pockets and returned to the living room.

“Okay, let’s get to my house so I can pick up my weapons,” Natasha said. “Tony’s gonna pick us up there.”

They ran all the way to Natasha’s house. Wanda waited in the yard while Natasha went inside, returning less than three minutes later. They only waited a minute longer for Tony to show up. Most of the Avengers were already in the SUV.

“Steve’s in the process of breaking Bucky out of the hospital,” Tony announced once Wanda and Natasha were in the car. “He didn’t want to leave Bucky and Bucky didn’t want to stay there, so crime is happening.”

“Is that a good idea? Bucky’s pretty beat up,” Wanda said.

“Aside from the starvation and sleep depravation, it’s nothing he hasn’t had before and still kicked ass,” said Sam. “I mean, it’s not the _best_ idea, but those two are stubborn sons of bitches so there was no talking them out of it.”

“So we’re playing getaway car, then?” said Natasha.

“Yup,” Tony said, a slightly manic glint in his eyes.

“Christ, we’re gonna die,” Bruce muttered.

“No, we’re not,” said Tony.

“Okay then. We’re gonna get arrested,” Bruce amended.

“That one’s a bit more likely.”

 

Breaking Bucky out of the hospital went much more smoothly than any of them would admit to expecting. 

“You sure you wanna do this, Buck?” Steve asked as Tony sped through the dark streets.

“It’s a bit late to be askin’ that, Stevie,” said Bucky, wincing slightly. “Did anybody bring me any weapons?”

“There’s a box of knives, some mace, and three guns in the back,” Tony said.

“Thanks.”

Bucky took two knives, a can of mace, and two of the remaining guns and tucked them into various places. 

“Is there another gun left?” Wanda asked.

“Yeah,” said Bucky. “You want it?”

“I would, thanks.”

He handed her the gun and she tucked it into the back of her jeans. Natasha raised an eyebrow at her.

“My brother’s in danger,” Wanda said. “People will do crazy, stupid things to keep the people they love safe.”


	13. Factory Recall

Pietro walked silently through the abandoned factory, following the sound of voices. Hydra was still there after all. Good. That made things easier. It also made it a lot easier to avoid having second thoughts. There were lights up ahead and he saw the silhouettes of several people sitting and standing around a table. He stopped, still standing in the shadows. This was his last chance. If he wanted to go back, to live, he had to decide now. But he had to protect Wanda and the Avengers. And this was the only way he knew how. Taking a deep breath, Pietro stepped into the light. Silence fell around the table as they all turned to stare at him. Then Jason stood with a grin on his face.

“Well, look who it is,” he said. “You decide you wanted it after all?”

“I’m here to surrender,” said Pietro, forcing his voice to remain steady.

“Surrender?” Jason echoed.

“You want to kill me. You’re not gonna stop ‘til you have,” Pietro said. “I want my friends to be safe and as long as I’m alive, they won’t be.”

“This has got to be some sort of trick,” Jason said. “The Avengers are hiding outside, aren’t they?”

“I came alone.”

“And you haven’t got a gun in your pants this time?”

“I’m unarmed,” Pietro replied.

He held his arms out, inviting them to search him. Schmidt nodded to one of the others, who came and checked him for weapons. When he found none, Jason grinned again and walked forward until he was face to face with Pietro.

“You realize I’m not gonna let you die easy.”

“I know,” said Pietro. “I don’t care. I just want to protect my friends.”

“Then let’s get started.”

 

***

 

Tony turned off the headlights before pulling the SUV to a halt outside the abandoned factory. The Avengers silently got out of the car and approached the building. The door was ajar and a faint light was shining through the crack. Wanda’s hands were sweating on the handle of the gun and her heart was racing, terrified that they had come too late. Rhodey slowly opened the door wide enough for them to get through and beckoned the others inside. They walked as quietly as possible toward the light source. Wanda’s heart skipped a beat. Pietro was there and he wasn’t dead yet, but Jason was looming over him, beating him to a pulp. Then, Jason lifted his arm and Wanda saw the metal of a blade glint in his hand.

“No!” she screamed.

Jason froze and turned as the Avengers emerged into the light, guns raised. 

“So much for protecting your friends, sweetheart,” he said to Pietro.

He stood up and tucked the knife into his belt, pulling out a gun instead. Schmidt, Rumlow, and Zola stepped forward, all holding guns as well. 

“Shouldn’t you be in a hospital, Barnes?” Zola said.

Bucky just shrugged, keeping both his guns trained on Jason.

“Drop your guns,” Steve ordered Hydra.

“Says the man with a gun to my head,” Schmidt scoffed.

“I said drop them!”

“But I was just about to grant Pietro his wish,” said Jason.

He aimed his gun at Pietro, who was still on the ground, barely moving. Panic flooded Wanda’s mind and she bolted forward, wrenching Jason’s arm away from her brother. He yelped and dropped the gun. He was so surprised at her sudden attack that he didn’t have time to defend himself as Wanda began punching and kicking every inch of him that she could. 

“Wanda, that’s enough!” Steve said firmly.

She froze, panting. Jason was on his knees, his nose bleeding, several colorful bruises already forming on his face. 

“Natasha,” she said, turning away from the pathetic sight. “I’ll let you do the honors.”

Jason’s eyes went wide with terror. Wanda stepped back as Natasha came forward, gun gripped tightly in her left hand. She considered the gun for a moment before tucking it into her jacket. Then she delivered a knock-out punch. The other members of Hydra all finally dropped their guns, eying Wanda and Natasha nervously. A chorus of sirens started growing nearer and the nervous looks on Hydras’ faces changed to ones of dread. 

“Oh good, the cops are here,” Sam said.

“I’d be grateful if everyone hid the guns I stole before they come in,” said Tony. “I’d rather not go to jail.”

“You called the police?” Schmidt said, glaring furiously.

“Your buddy just tried to kill our friend while you all watched. Of course we called the police,” said Steve.

Wanda knelt by her brother’s side as the cops kicked open the factory doors and swarmed in, handcuffs at the ready. Pietro’s eyes were closed, but he was still breathing. He was covered in blood and bruises. The paramedics came and lifted him onto a stretcher, then wheeled him out to the ambulance. 

 

***

 

The first thing Pietro became aware of was that his entire body ached. The second was that he didn’t appear to be dead. His eyelids felt heavy as he slowly opened them, only to be momentarily blinded by fluorescent lights. He blinked a few times to let his eyes adjust before taking in his surroundings. He was in a hospital room, lying in a surprisingly comfortable bed. In a chair to his right sat Wanda.

“Hi,” she said, smiling at him.

“Hi,” Pietro replied. Oh good, his voice still worked.

“Mom wanted to be here,” Wanda said. “But her boss is a dick and wouldn’t let her off even though her son’s in the hospital. She’ll be here as soon as her shift ends, though.”

“Oh,” Pietro said. 

His brain didn’t seem to be processing things very quickly at the moment. Then he remembered.

“Jason. He’s gonna come after you. I’m not dead, he’s gonna kill you and the others...”

“No he’s not,” said Wanda, taking his hand. “Jason’s been arrested. We called the police on the way to the factory. They arrested him and the rest of Hydra too, though they’re all being let off. Jason, on the other hand, is gonna go to prison for a very long time. They’re trying him as an adult even though he won’t be eighteen for a few more months.”

“But they’re trying him. There has to be a trial first,” Pietro said.

“And he’s not gonna win,” Wanda reassured him. “There’s too much evidence against him. Witnesses, the security footage from Tony’s house. He _will_ go to prison, Pietro. You’re safe.”

Pietro squeezed her hand and let a little relieved smile slip out.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

Wanda smiled back.

“What are sisters for?”


	14. First Witness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild trigger warning for mentions of attempted rape and consideration of suicide

Several weeks passed and the day of Jason’s trial arrived. Pietro, Wanda, and Bucky had all been called as witnesses, and the rest of the Avengers were coming along for moral support. The trial was about to begin and they were all sitting in the lobby, waiting.

“I hate wearing a suit,” Pietro complained, tugging irritably at the collar of his shirt.

“That’s not a suit, Maximoff. You’re not even wearing a tie,” said Tony.

“Thank God for that,” said Pietro.

“Yeah, then you’d complain even more,” Bucky teased.

Pietro shot him a glare. 

“I’m nervous. What if I say something wrong?” he said.

“Just answer their questions and tell the truth. That’s all you can do,” Steve said.

 

***

 

Because they were testifying, Pietro, Wanda, and Bucky had to wait outside until they were called to the stand while the others all joined the small crowd in the courtroom. After a little while, the bailiff called Pietro in.

“Good luck,” Wanda and Bucky said as he stood and followed the bailiff inside.

It was a fairly small courtroom. Pietro scanned the crowd of onlookers until he found the other Avengers, then let his eyes wander to the defendant’s box where Jason sat in handcuffs. Pietro tore his gaze away and stepped into the witness stand. They swore him in, then the prosecuting lawyer stepped forward.

“Mr. Maximoff,” she said. “Please tell us how you know the accused.”

Pietro took a steadying breath.

“We go to the same high school,” he replied. “My sister and I moved here last summer. Jason asked to sit with us at lunch on the first day of school.”

“The two of you dated for a while, correct?”

“Yes. He asked me out a few weeks after we met. It lasted about two months.”

“Can you tell us what happened that ended your relationship?”

“He kidnapped my sister,” said Pietro. “Him and his gang, Hydra.”

“Were you aware that he was part of Hydra while you were dating him?”

“No. I found out that night.”

“What else happened that night between you and him?”

“He threatened to kill Wanda and my friends. And then.... he, uh... shot me.”

There was a murmur in the courtroom. The prosecuting lawyer consulted her notes before looking back up at Pietro.

“Did you have any contact with the accused before the incident in March?” she asked.

“No. I saw him a few times at school, but I avoided him,” Pietro replied.

“Now about the incident in March. What were the circumstances of Clint Barton’s death?”

Pietro knew they would be asking him about Clint, but it still didn’t prepare him for it.

“We were having a party at Tony’s when Hydra attacked. Jason found me and was going to shoot me in the head. Clint ran in and pushed me aside and took the bullet instead. He died almost immediately.”

“You and the accused had another encounter at the abandoned factory two weeks later, when you and your friends went to rescue Bucky Barnes. Tell us what happened.”

Pietro looked down at his hands.

“I was angry because he’d killed Clint, and we fought, and... he tried to rape me. Thor came in before he could get very far...”

Another murmur swept the room.

“What was your intention when you returned to the factory that night?” the lawyer asked.

“To let him kill me,” said Pietro quietly. “I knew he wouldn’t stop until I was dead, and I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

“Thank you, Mr. Maximoff. Those are all my questions,” she said, then returned to her seat.

“Will the defense please step forward?” the judge announced.

The defending lawyer stood.

“Mr. Maximoff, can you tell us what you were doing on the day your sister was kidnapped?” he said.

“It was a school day. I went to lunch off campus with the Avengers and then we sorta skipped class... we went back to the school to pick up my sister afterwards and I found a note on my locker saying to go to the mall parking lot that night if I wanted to see her again.”

“Thank you,” the lawyer said, shuffling his notes. “The night of Barton’s death and Barnes’ capture. You said you were all at a party?”

“Yes.”

“Were there substances involved?”

“...Yes.”

“What kinds?”

“Alcohol and marijuana...”

“Excuse me, your honor,” the prosecuting lawyer interjected. “But how is this relevant?”

“Mr. Walters, please keep your questions on the subject of the witness’s relationship to the defendant,” the judge said. “Underage substance use is not the topic of this trial.”

“Yes, your honor,” the defending lawyer said. He turned back to Pietro. “Did you ever have any idea of why the defendant would have wanted to kill you?”

“No, not really,” said Pietro. “I just sort of assumed that it was because we were part of rival gangs.”

“And yet the two of you dated for a time.”

“I told you before, I didn’t know he was in Hydra then. He was sent to spy on me because I had spoken to Clint earlier that day and they assumed I was more connected to the Avengers than I was at the time.”

“Did you and the defendant ever engage in sexual activities while you were in a relationship?” Mr. Walters asked.

Pietro blushed and looked down at his hands again.

“Once,” he said quietly.

“How far into your relationship were you at that point?”

“It was a couple days before I found out he was Hydra...”

“Your honor, I repeat, how is this relevant?” the prosecuting lawyer said.

“Mr. Walters...” the judge warned.

“It will become relevant shortly, your honor,” Mr. Walters said.

“Very well...”

“You claim that when you and your friends went to the abandoned factory to rescue Barnes, the defendant attempted to rape you,” Mr. Walters said.

“I’m not _claiming_ it. He _did_ try,” said Pietro, beginning to feel nettled.

“The two of you were sexually intimate in the past. There were no witnesses of the event.”

“Thor walked in on it, he saved–”

“Please don’t interrupt, Mr. Maximoff,” said Mr. Walters. “As I was saying. Considering your sexual history with the defendant, were my clients actions _really_ an attempted rape?”

“Objection!” the prosecuting lawyer said angrily.

“Since when does having sex with someone once make it okay to rape them later?” Pietro said, disgust dripping from every syllable.

“Mr. Walters, that comment is out of line,” said the judge in a dangerous tone. “Please pursue a different line of questioning.”

“Yes, your honor,” Mr. Walters said.

The courtroom was buzzing. Pietro looked over at the Avengers. It looked a bit as though Sam and Tony might have been holding Steve back so he didn’t try to punch Mr. Walters’ face in. The judge called for order and everyone quieted down. Pietro turned back to the defense lawyer, trying (and failing) to not let his disgust show.

“You returned to the factory with the intention of dying on the same night of the attempted rape, correct?” asked Mr. Walters.

“Yes,” Pietro said through gritted teeth.

“You say you went there to sacrifice yourself for your friends. Is it possible there was also another more selfish motive?”

“Sorry?”

“You had just suffered a trauma. Two weeks before, a close friend died in your arms. You recently were betrayed by someone you thought you loved. Those things can have quite an impact on your mental wellbeing. And very few people your age would have the emotional maturity to make the decision to lay down their life for others. Was your return to the factory perhaps less an action of sacrifice and more one of suicide?”

“Your honor, I once again am left wondering what the relevance of this question is,” the prosecuting lawyer said.

“Mr. Maximoff, please answer Mr. Walters’ question,” the judge said.

“I _did_ go back to the factory with the intention of protecting my friends,” Pietro said quietly. “But... you’re not entirely wrong either, Mr. Walters. I was miserable and didn’t know how to make it stop. Death seemed pretty welcoming at that point.”

“And are you still experiencing feelings of suicidal ideation?”

“No. Getting to that point and walking away with your life can sort of wake you up, I guess.”

“Alright,” said Mr. Walters, flipping through his notes. “I just have one more question for you, Mr. Maximoff. Were you in love with Clint Barton?”

Pietro stared at him, too taken off guard by the question to answer right away. 

“Mr. Walters,” the judge warned.

“Just a moment, your honor,” the lawyer said.

“No, I wasn’t,” Pietro managed at last. “We were friends. He was like a brother to me. If you’re wondering why he would throw himself in front of a bullet for me, sir, that’s the reason. Nothing more.”

“Very well,” said Mr. Walters. “Regardless of my final question, I would still like to raise an inquiry to your honor as to whether you think, after hearing Mr. Maximoff’s testimony, this young man is truly a credible witness. Suicidal tendencies, underage substance abuse along with other illegal activities no doubt, and a strong possibility of depression and/or post traumatic stress... there are a lot of things in there that could discredit the reliability of his testimony.”

“And where do you think he could have gotten that laundry list of mental illnesses? Maybe from the defendant, his abusive ex-boyfriend?” the prosecuting lawyer shot back.

“Mr. Maximoff has been deemed reliable and his testimony stands,” said the judge. “Your inquiry is denied, Mr. Walters. If you are finished questioning the witness, please return to your seat.”

“Yes, your honor,” said Mr. Walters, sitting back down.

“Mr. Maximoff, you are free to go. Thank you for your testimony,” the judge said, then called for a break. 

Pietro stepped down from the box and hurried for the door. The moment he was in the corridor, he sunk to the ground, his back against the wall. He felt out of breath, as though he had just ran a race, and it was making him dizzy. Someone called his name and he looked up to see the Avengers hurrying toward him.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

Pietro nodded.

“Just feeling a bit battered...”

“I don’t blame you,” said Steve. “Jesus, is this the tactic they’re gonna take? Trying to discredit all the witnesses through emotional waterboarding?”

“It’s not like they’ve got a very strong case,” said Natasha. “Even if they couldn’t prove anything else Jason did, there’s too much evidence that he killed Clint for him to possibly he get off.”

“So what’s the point?” said Bruce. “Why didn’t he just plead guilty and get it over with?”

“Probably to fuck with me one last time,” Pietro muttered bitterly.

Then the judge called them back in.

 


	15. Second Witness

Pietro sat down between Tony and Natasha as Bucky entered the witness box and was sworn in.

“Ms. Hill, please step forward for the prosecution,” the judge said.

The prosecuting lawyer stood.

“What was your relationship to the accused before you were captured by him and his associates?” she asked.

“We were just in rival gangs. Knew of each other more than actually _knew_ each other. He wasn’t really part of the ‘inner circle’ of Hydra, or at least not that any of us knew,” Bucky said.

“Were you aware of the relationship between the accused and Pietro Maximoff?”

“No, I wasn’t. I didn’t even meet Pietro ‘til earlier on the day they kidnapped his sister, Wanda.”

“What was your role in the confrontation that evening?”

“Well the note Hydra left for Pietro said to bring the Avengers with him to the parking garage, so we all went. None of us was about to let an innocent girl get hurt. Schmidt, the leader of Hydra, proposed an exchange. I join them in exchange for Wanda. I told him to shove it, he put a gun to her head. Then Frost showed up and said he’d kill six of the ten of us, or put all six bullets in Wanda, so I offered to take Schmidt up on the deal and Frost pointed the gun at my head. Then Pietro saved me and got shot for it.”

“Do you know why they wanted you to join them?”

“No idea. I suppose the same reason they kidnapped me. For information.”

“And what sort of information were they interested in getting out of you?” Ms. Hill asked.

“Stuff on Steve, mostly. He’s gang leader and also my boyfriend, so I guess I was the best guy to try and force some secrets out of.”

“And did they succeed?”

“Hell no,” Bucky laughed. “Most of Hydra are absolute shit at interrogation, turns out. They’d mostly just say ‘tell me about Steve Rogers’, which is obviously a pretty open question. So I told them stuff like his middle name and his favorite color and they beat me up. Jason on the other hand knew what he was doing. I mostly just kept my mouth shut when he came ‘round.”

“What sort of things would he do to you to try and get you to talk?”

“He hit me a lot. Tied me up. Didn’t let me eat for a few days. Didn’t let me sleep for a few days too. The worst was when he’d threaten to kill Steve, though. He’d go into a lot of detail on exactly how he’d do it, what he’d do to make it hurt the most... I almost talked a couple of times when he’d do that...”

“When did you learn of Clint Barton’s death?” Ms. Hill asked.

“A week later, on the day of his funeral. Frost had finished torturing me and as he was leaving, he said, ‘Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, your friend Clint’s dead. They put him in the ground two hours ago’,” Bucky said quietly. “Then he told the others not to let me sleep for three days.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes, that is all,” said Ms. Hill, taking her seat again.

“Now for the defense,” the judge announced.

Mr. Walters stood and Pietro tensed, hoping he’d be less brutal to Bucky. It was a futile hope, he knew, but he couldn’t help wishing it for Bucky’s sake.

“Mr. Barnes, you were admitted to the hospital after you were rescued from Hydra, correct?” Mr. Walters asked.

“Yes, I was.”

“And yet you went back to the factory that same night to stop Pietro Maximoff from being killed, correct?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Would you care to explain how you came to be part of that ‘rescue mission’ only a few hours after your admission to the hospital with, what was it...” Mr. Walters consulted his notes. “Ah yes, ‘three broken ribs, a severely sprained wrist, and sleep depravation’?”

“Okay, well first of all, I’ve kept fighting with much worse injuries than that, trust me. And I didn’t even have to fight that night, I just had to stand there and look angry ‘til the cops showed up.”

“You’re avoiding my question, Mr. Barnes. How did you gain permission to leave the hospital?”

“Uh, well, I didn’t exactly get permission... I kinda broke out...”

“On your own?”

“Steve helped a little...”

“A little?” Steve muttered a few seats away from Pietro. “I literally wheeled his ass out of there...”

“So you and your boyfriend broke you out of the hospital to return to the place you’d just escaped and stop your friend from committing assisted suicide?”

“Well, technically he was going to be murdered, but yes.”

“You seem to be a reasonably athletic young man, Mr. Barnes, probably rather strong. You’ve been part of a gang for a while, been in a lot of fights. So how do you explain how easily you were captured by Hydra?”

“Well, I was kinda crossfaded that night and they took us by surprise, so I wasn’t exactly in top fighting condition,” said Bucky. “Plus there were two of them against one of me, and Rumlow’s a big dude.”

“You said that the defendant asked you specific questions about your boyfriend, Steve Rogers. Can you give us an idea of what kinds of questions he asked?”

“Mostly just trying to find out Steve’s weaknesses, things Hydra could use against him. He had a lot more luck getting _my_ weaknesses out of me than Steve’s, honestly.”

“I’m assuming, since you’re his boyfriend, that you could be considered one of his weaknesses, something that was obviously exploited in kidnapping you. Yet it took two weeks for him to get around to rescuing you. Do you have any explanation for this?” Mr. Walters asked.

“Objection!” Ms. Hill said, standing up. “This line of questioning is both entirely irrelevant _and_ a blatant emotional attack upon the witness.”

“Mr. Barnes, you do not have to answer that question,” the judge said. “Mr. Walters, if you have more questions for the witness, please proceed to those.”

“I have no more questions, your honor,” Mr. Walters said, resuming his seat.

 

***

 

“That bastard!” Steve said furiously the second they were out in the corridor again. 

“Calm down, Stevie,” said Bucky, coming over to join them. “He’s a shit lawyer, I honestly don’t know what he thought he was gonna get outta that question.”

“He was probably going to try and insinuate that Steve doesn’t care about you as much as you care about him and then twist everything you said to claim you’re not mentally stable enough to be a good witness,” Pietro said bitterly.

“Jesus, did they do that to you?” Bucky said.

“More or less.”

“Yeah, his questions for you were tame compared to what he dragged Pietro through,” Tony said. “He made the poor kid out to be some suicidal junkie whore...”

“Shit...” said Bucky. “I mean, I suspected he was trying to make me look bad with the hospital break and everything, but I didn’t realize he was playing that kind of game.”

“It was pretty brutal,” Natasha said.

“It was hell,” said Pietro. “If he tries that shit on Wanda...”

“Don’t make me have to sit on you,” Sam warned.

The break ended and they were called back in to their seats. Pietro’s heart started beating nervously as Wanda entered the courtroom and was sworn in.

“Ms. Hill,” said the judge. “The questions from the prosecution, please.”


	16. Final Witness

“Miss Maximoff, could you please describe your relationship with the accused prior to discovering his affiliation with Hydra?”

“He and I were friends,” Wanda replied. “He was my brother’s boyfriend mostly, but we enjoyed each others’ company.”

“What happened on the day you were kidnapped by Hydra?” Ms. Hill asked.

“Jason and I sat together at lunch like we usually did, but Pietro never showed up. We were on our way out of the cafeteria after lunch period ended when Jason and one of his friends grabbed me and dragged me outside. They tied me up and put me in the trunk of a car and left me there until they brought me out in the parking garage that night.”

“Before that day, did you ever have any concerns about your brother’s relationship with the accused?”

“No. Jason had seemed very nice and Pietro was happy. I didn’t have reason for concern.”

“After he kidnapped you, when was your next interaction with the accused?” Ms. Hill asked.

“In the factory, right before he was arrested,” Wanda said. “He was going to kill my brother, so I stopped him.”

“How did you know your brother had gone to the factory that night?”

“Earlier that day was when... when Jason had tried to rape him. Pietro was traumatized, so I went to talk with him, to make sure he was doing okay. He said that... he wondered whether it would be better if he let Jason kill him. To keep me and our friends safe.” Wanda paused. “I shouldn’t have left him alone after hearing him say that, but I did. I went outside to talk to Natasha, and when we went back up to the apartment, he wasn’t there. I knew immediately where he’d gone.”

“Thank you, Miss Maximoff,” said Ms. Hill. “Those are all my questions.

She sat down and Wanda let out a sigh of relief. That hadn’t been so bad. Surely the rest would be just as easy.

“Will the defense please stand,” the judge said.

Mr. Walters got to his feet.

“Miss Maximoff, can you explain how your brother ended up alone in the factory during your ‘rescue mission’ for Bucky Barnes?” he asked.

“Well, we all fanned out to look for Bucky, and I think we all sort of assumed everyone would try to stay with somebody else or at least not wander too far,” said Wanda. “It was an accident really that he ended up separated from the rest of us.”

“And none of you thought to go looking for him when you realized he wasn’t with you?”

“We were all spread out. It wasn’t until we’d already found Bucky and the rest of us had regrouped that we realized he was still in the factory.”

“And you said before that later that night, you left your brother alone after he had confessed to you that he essentially was considering suicide.”

“I’ve never regretted doing anything more.”

“You went outside to talk to a friend when your brother was in danger of killing himself. You left him unsupervised and allowed him to run off after hearing from his own mouth that he thought it would be best if he were dead,” Mr. Walters said. 

“Objection!” said Ms. Hill.

“Mr. Walters, where are you going with this?” the judge asked wearily.

“Your honor, Miss Maximoff appears to me to be detrimentally irresponsible,” said Mr. Walters. “Her brother went through several traumas, and yet she continually allowed him to engage in reckless, dangerous behavior. That alone should be enough to make me seriously doubt her ability to testify reliably. However, there is also the fact that her irresponsibility nearly allowed her brother to go to his death. To me, that seems like too lax an action for a loving sister, no matter how irresponsible she is. Your honor, I am led to suspect, and I urge you to consider this possibility, that Miss Maximoff purposely let her brother leave the apartment that night as a plan to deliver him to where her true loyalties lie: with Hydra.”

The courtroom erupted with voices, some confused, some angry, all shocked. Tears filled Wanda’s eyes but she forced them back, refusing to let Mr. Walters think that he had gotten to her. She glanced over to the spectators’ boxes where the other Avengers sat. Pietro was on his feet, looking livid, and both Tony and Natasha were struggling to hold him back. The judge called for order several times before everyone settled down.

“Mr. Walters, this accusation is completely uncalled for,” the judge said. “Not only that, but it is extremely cruel. Miss Maximoff has said several times in her testimony how much she regrets leaving her brother alone that night. Besides, this is a seventeen-year-old girl you are referring to. Placing the expectation upon her of being her brother’s keeper is highly unreasonable, and suggesting that she would willfully betray him is even more so. If you have any more _real_ questions for Miss Maximoff, please share them. However, if you only intend to fling more slander, then please, Mr. Walters, do sit down.”

“That is all, your honor,” said Mr. Walters bitterly.

“If the bailiff could please escort Miss Maximoff outside,” said the judge.

The bailiff approached the witness box and Wanda followed him out of the courtroom.

“When can I see my brother?” Wanda asked him.

“He’ll be out in a minute. The judge just has to release the jury,” the bailiff replied, then he left.

Wanda sat on a bench, her hands folded in her lap. Finally, she let the tears that had been threatening to overcome her since Mr. Walters’ accusations take over. She heard the doors of the courtroom open and several people spill out, but it wasn’t until she heard the quickly approaching footsteps that she looked up. Pietro was running toward her, the other Avengers scrambling to keep up. Wanda got to her feet and ran forward, meeting him partway. She buried her face in his chest as his arms wrapped around her, his entire body shaking with anger.

“Are you okay?” he asked her.

“I’ll be fine,” Wanda replied, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“That bastard... I thought he couldn’t get any more cruel than he’d been to me, but then...” Pietro paused, and Wanda felt his hands tighten into fists on her back. “I swear, if Tony and Natasha hadn’t held me back, I’d have strangled him...”

“You’re lucky they grabbed you so quick,” said Rhodey. 

“No, Walters is the lucky one,” Pietro said, venom dripping from his voice.

“Pietro, it’s fine,” said Wanda. She had never seen him so angry. “I’ll be fine. It was just hollow lies and accusations. Just words.”

She looked up at him and was shocked to see tears in his eyes. 

“Pietro...”

“I’m fine, I’m... I...” he closed his eyes and took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Wanda pulled him close again, her arms wrapped tight around him in comfort. “It’s all gonna be okay.”


	17. The Verdict

Pietro sat between Wanda and Sam, heart pounding nervously.

“Madam Forewoman, I presume you have come to a decision?” the judge said.

“Yes, we have,” the forewoman replied.

“And is your decision unanimous?”

“Yes, it is.”

“What is the jury’s verdict?”

There was a pause and everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath.

“Not guilty.”

“No!” the strangled cry escaped Pietro involuntarily.

How could they find him not guilty? How? Horrible, heart-stopping fear suddenly flooded over him. Jason was free and he was going to come for him. He was going to kill Pietro and his sister and all his friends. 

“No!” Pietro cried again.

He was on his knees and he didn’t remember getting there and it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was going to die because Jason was free.

“Pietro!”

Pietro’s eyes flew open. He was staring at the cold marble floor of the courthouse corridor, and Wanda was kneeling next to him. He glanced around. Several people were staring in their direction, looks of concern or displeasure on their faces.

“What happened?” he said.

“You dozed off,” said Wanda. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah... just a bad dream...”

Pietro suddenly became aware of his knees throbbing from falling off his seat. He pushed himself to his feet and straightened his clothes with trembling hands. Many of the onlookers were turning away, but a few still stared.

“Well if Walters didn’t convince them I’m unbalanced, that sure did...” he muttered bitterly.

“Don’t worry about them. They don’t matter,” said Steve. 

 

About ten minutes later, they were called back into the courtroom. Pietro sat between Wanda and Sam, so nervous he felt sick. 

“Madam Forewoman, has the jury reached a verdict?” the judge asked.

The forewoman stood.

“Yes, we have,” she replied.

“And is your decision unanimous?”

“Yes, it is.”

“What is the jury’s verdict?”

The courtroom was so silent, Pietro was sure everyone could hear how hard his heart was beating. He grabbed Wanda’s hand, barely aware of how tight his grip was.

“Guilty,” the forewoman announced.

Relief welled up so quickly and suddenly that Pietro felt dizzy. He let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding, and with it came a delirious giggle. All the tension that had been trapped in his body for months released all at once and he felt like he was floating. Jason was going to prison and he was safe at last.


	18. Road Trip

The final months of the school year flew by and suddenly it was mid-June and all the Avengers but Pietro and Wanda were graduating and the inevitable fear of drifting apart after graduation surfaced. They hadn’t had a party at Tony’s house since Clint died, but graduation seemed as good a time as any to pass that milestone. It was nothing like any of their past parties; there was no alcohol or weed or loud music, just soda and snacks and a bunch of friends sitting around being uncharacteristically nostalgic. 

“Most of us will still be around, you know,” Steve said. “I mean, not many of us are exactly the college-bound type, and I couldn’t afford it even if I wanted to.”

“I still say you should go to art school,” Bucky said. His head was in Steve’s lap and he was gazing up at him like he was the sun peeking through the clouds after a long winter.

“You wanna pay for it, Buck? ‘Cause I sure as hell can’t.”

“And I can? You forget I live in the same shitty neighborhood as you.”

“So who all _is_ going to college?” Wanda asked. “Bruce, I figure you’re a given.”

“Yup. I got accepted at Princeton, but my dad won’t pay for my tuition so who knows how long that’ll last,” said Bruce. 

“But doesn’t he want you to go?” said Wanda.

“You don’t know my dad, he’s...” Bruce trailed off and Wanda thought she saw him shudder. “Let’s just say it’ll be nice to get away from him, even if I have to work three jobs to stay in school.”

“Y’know, I might be able to convince my dad to toss a little money your way to help with tuition,” said Tony.

“I couldn’t. Besides, he’s got your tuition to pay for already.”

“Bruce, you know perfectly well that I’m fucking loaded.”

“So you finally made up your mind to go to college, then?” Natasha asked Tony.

“Yeah. MIT. Rhodey made it in too.”

“I’m doing ROTC,” Rhodey added. “Finally being the good boy my parents wanted. It was bound to happen eventually.”

“Just don’t be too good, Rhodes,” said Natasha with a grin.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep him in trouble,” said Tony, giving Rhodey a playful shove.

“So, this is kinda a subject change, but I was thinking,” said Sam.

“Wow, shocker,” Bucky teased.

“You’re an asshole, Barnes. _Anyway_ , I was thinking, most people have like, ‘summer adventures’ or whatever, but our summer adventures mostly involve being just as hooligan-ish as usual,” said Sam. “Sooo, I thought maybe this year, since it’s kinda the end of an era, we should have an actual adventure.”

“What kind of adventure?” Pietro asked.

“Well, the only suggestion I’ve got is a road trip, but if anyone’s got a better idea, they’re free to share,” Sam replied.

“I think it’s a fantastic idea,” said Thor.

“Me too,” said Wanda. 

“I have one condition,” said Tony. “Steve never gets to pick the music.”

 

***

 

The SUV was packed with duffel bags, coolers, and camping supplies. Sam, who had been designated music provider, had made several hours-long playlists for once they left radio reception (or in the event of the only available station being country). The gas tank was full and everything was ready to go. The Avengers piled in, rolled down the windows, and drove out of town.

 

They drove for hours, and around midnight, stopped in a tiny town and checked into the crappiest motel they could find. Sleeping assignments went a little awry and Pietro somehow ended up sandwiched between Thor and Sam in a bed that probably (definitely) wasn’t made to hold three full-grown men, especially when one of them was a six foot two quarterback and all of them had a tendency to sprawl everywhere. Pietro woke up half on top of Sam and half underneath Thor. His attempts to his escape resulted in both of his bedmates getting elbowed in the face, Sam getting a knee in the crotch, and Steve and Bucky collapsing into a laughing fit that lasted several minutes.

 

After breakfast at a cheap café, they climbed back into the SUV, topped up the gas, and started off once again. They went for several hours without stopping, took a quick rest stop, then were on the road again. They were leaving civilization now, entering the realm of forests and foothills. The first of Sam’s playlists was blaring through the speakers and the sun was getting closer to the horizon. They were the only ones on the road, so Tony was going at least ten over the speed limit, which was already pretty fast. Pepper was riding shotgun and therefore playing navigator.

“There’s a camp ground probably an hour from here, so we can stop there for the night,” she said. 

She folded up the map and tucked it into the glove compartment. Then she frowned.

“Tony, slow down,” she said. “There’s something in the road ahead.”

Tony let up on the gas a little, squinting at a glinting shape several yards in front of them, quickly getting closer. They were still going a little over seventy, and the only way they could avoid whatever it was would be to swerve into the other lane, which was thankfully deserted. They were nearly there when they passed a slight bend in the road and discovered two things. One, the thing in the road spanned both lanes with no hope of swerving around it. Two, the thing in the road was a strip of sharp metal spikes.

“Shit!” Tony shouted.

He slammed on the brakes, but they were too close to stop in time. The front tires collided with the spikes at top speed and the car flipped.


	19. Into the Woods

Pietro’s head ached and everything felt out of place and wrong and he couldn’t figure out what was causing it. His eyes felt like they were glued shut but he opened them anyway. This didn’t help. Before everything had just _felt_ wrong. Now he _knew_ everything was wrong. First of all, he was upside down, hanging from the ceiling. He unbuckled his seatbelt, bracing himself on the ceiling (or was it the floor now?) with one hand so he wouldn’t fall and break his neck. He fell anyway, but much more controlled than he would have otherwise, and landed in a pile of broken glass. Gritting his teeth and trying not to get himself more stabbed than he already was, Pietro crawled to the smashed window and wriggled his way out of the wreckage. He stood up a little too quickly and felt all the blood that had gone to his head while he was upside down rush back into the rest of his body. His vision clouded momentarily and he gripped the edge of the car to keep himself from falling. Once he recovered, he glanced around. The other Avengers were all sitting in a huddle on the side of the road, looking battered. Staggering slightly, Pietro went to join them. They looked up as he approached.

“Oh thank God, you’re awake,” said Natasha. “We were too scared to try and get you out while you were still unconscious, in case we dropped you...”

“How long was I out?” 

“About twenty minutes,” Thor replied.

“Is someone on the way?” Pietro asked, joining them on the curb.

The others exchanged a grim look.

“None of us has phone service,” said Natasha. “We’re too far out for even Tony to get a signal.”

“Great....”

“You’re bleeding,” Wanda said suddenly.

“Oh perfect, I’m gonna bleed to death stranded in the mountains...” said Pietro, inspecting himself to find the source of his injury. “Where the hell am I bleeding?”

“Your head,” said Wanda. “And calm down, it doesn’t look too bad.”

“Here, I’ll patch you up,” Bruce said.

He came to crouch in front of Pietro, a dented first-aid kit in hand, and began cleaning the blood from his face. 

“Wanda’s right, it’s not too bad. It probably only bled as much as it did because you were upside down,” said Bruce. 

“So what do we do now?” Pietro asked.

“We get all the supplies we can carry from the car and set up camp,” said Steve. “In the morning, we start walking until we find either a person or a phone signal.”

 

***

 

The next morning, they started hiking back the way they had come, following the edge of the road both so they wouldn’t get lost and so they might have a chance of getting picked up by a passing car. They each carried a backpack full of supplies, food, and some extra clothes in case they were stuck out there for another cold night. They had gone farther into the mountains than they realized, because by evening, they still had no phone service. 

“We should probably stop here for the night. There’s some trees that’ll make good cover,” Rhodey suggested. “If we try to keep going once it gets dark, it’ll be too easy for someone to get lost or hurt.”

They followed Rhodey into the little grove of trees and started setting up camp. When it came time to build a fire, they discovered that everything around them would only be good for kindling.

“I’ll go find some better firewood,” Pietro offered.

“Not on your own, you won’t,” said Sam. “I’m coming with.”

They trekked off into the surrounding forest, gathering as much dry wood as they could find.

“Just our luck, right? We can’t even go on a road trip without shit going to hell,” said Sam, untangling a branch from some ferns.

“Yeah... it’s weird though,” said Pietro. “Those spikes obviously weren’t there by accident. But why would someone put something like that out in the middle of a road?”

“Maybe somebody’s out to get somebody else that they knew would be driving that way,” Sam froze. “Son of a bitch!”

“What? What is it?”

“Fucking Hydra, that’s what.”

“You think _they_ put the spikes there?” Pietro said incredulously.

“It makes sense. They hate us. We got one of their guys arrested. They got revenge,” said Sam.

“Okay, but they’re not _that_ clever. And that’s a lot of effort for a bunch of teenagers to put into getting revenge.”

“I dunno, dude,” said Sam. “They stormed Tony’s place and managed to stay hidden and keep Bucky captive for two weeks. They’re pretty ruthless.”

“So suppose it _was_ Hydra. How the hell did they know we’d be on that road?” Pietro said.

“I have no idea...”

They stopped walking and looked around.

“Shit, do you remember which way we came from?” Pietro asked.

“Um.... maybe if we just turn around and keep walking that way, we’ll get back?”

“You were supposed to be coming with me so I don’t get lost.”

“I was coming with you so you wouldn’t get lost alone.”

Pietro rolled his eyes.

“It may be dark, but I still saw that,” Sam said.

“How?”

“Dude, you’re pale as hell and your hair might as well glow in the dark.”

“Let’s just... do what you said...” said Pietro.

He turned around and started walking, but it only took three steps for him to know he was going the wrong way. The ground underneath him made an ominous cracking noise and several stones bounced away into a black abyss.

“Shit, cliff, Sam help!” Pietro stammered in a panic.

He tried to backpedal and turn around all at once and felt his feet start to slip out from under him as the loose dirt began to give way. A terrified yelp escaped him as he started to fall and Sam dove forward and grabbed his hand. The firewood they had collected flew everywhere and Pietro would have been worried about being stabbed in the eye if he wasn’t so preoccupied with the possibility of falling off of a cliff.

“Pietro... we got a problem...” Sam panted.

“You think?” Pietro said, his voice about an octave higher than usual.

“No, I mean... I’m falling too...”

“What?!”

“This ground isn’t so stable. I can’t get a proper footing to pull you back up, and it’s starting to crumble.”

“Then let go,” said Pietro resignedly.

“Excuse me?!”

“Let go of me. You can’t pull me up and there’s no use in both of us dying. If you let go of me, maybe you’ll be able to save yourself from falling too.”

“Oh hell no, Pietro, I am _not_ letting you do that whole heroic sacrifice thing again!”

“I’m not trying to be heroic, I’m just trying to keep you alive!” Pietro argued. “We’re running out of time, so fucking drop me already!”

“I do not wanna be the one to explain to your sister that I let you fall off a fucking cliff,” said Sam.

He tightened his grip on Pietro’s hand and pulled as hard as he could. At first it seemed like he might be able to do it. But then the ground beneath him started to collapse and he lost his footing. He fell onto his back and Pietro’s hand slipped from his. Pietro scrambled to get a grip on something, anything, a root or a rock, but there was nothing but dirt. He was sliding and there was nothing stopping him and Sam was sliding too. They were both going to fall. Pietro’s legs were dangling over the edge now and he could feel his body picking up more momentum, as though gravity was pulling him down into its deadly embrace. Then suddenly, the feel of dirt slipped from beneath his fingertips and he was falling.

 


	20. The Cave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild trigger warning for brief mention of considered suicide

“Okay, it does not take twenty minutes to get firewood,” said Rhodey. “Where the hell are they?”

“They probably got turned around. Or wandered too far,” Bruce said.

“Or they got eaten by a bear,” said Tony.

“Tony!” Pepper scolded.

“What?”

“Not helpful.”

“If they had been eaten by a bear, I’m sure we would know,” said Thor. “We would have heard their screams.”

“Thor!” Pepper said in horrified exasperation.

“Jesus Christ...” Bucky muttered.

“Look, Bruce is probably right,” said Steve, trying to regain some sort of order. “They probably just got lost. They’re smart, they’ll stay wherever they are ‘til we can find them. But if we try to go looking now, we’ll all get lost. It’s too dark out and the woods are too dense. We’ll get some rest and look for them in the morning.”

“But what if something _has_ happened?” Wanda asked. That was her brother out there, and she’d been too close to losing him too many times not to be worried.

“Sam and Pietro are both tough. And smart. If something’s happened, they’ll get each other through it,” said Natasha.

Wanda nodded, only slightly comforted.

 

***

 

“Pietro. Come on, man, don’t do this to me.”

Everything hurt. Literally everything. Every single inch of his body ached. 

“Wake up, buddy, come on.”

That was Sam’s voice. Oh great, he’d fallen too. 

“Ow...” Pietro groaned, slowly opening his eyes.

“Oh thank God,” said Sam.

Pietro blinked a few times. It was dark and the ground beneath him was cold and hard. 

“Is this hell?” 

“What? No!” said Sam. “It wasn’t even that far of a drop, barely three stories. We survived.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Shit, dude, how many times can you possibly get knocked out in forty-eight hours?”

“Several, apparently,” said Pietro, wincing as he sat up. “Now what?”

“Well, it’s too dark to try and find our way out of here,” Sam said. “But there’s a cave just a little ways down the gorge that we can spend the night in, provided it’s not full of bears.”

Pietro let Sam help him to his feet, then they went to check out the cave. It was more of a nook than an actual cave, and completely devoid of bears, so they brushed aside some pebbles and settled down. They sat in silence for a little while, trying to get comfortable, when Sam suddenly spoke.

“Why did you think you were in hell after you woke up?” he asked.

“I’d just fallen off a cliff,” Pietro replied. “I figured I had to be dead.”

“No, I figured out that part. I mean, why did you assume you’d gone to hell?”

“I’m a queer Jewish boy with suicidal tendencies and I’m in a gang. I’m not exactly very holy.”

“You do know they’re lying when they say gay people go to hell, right?” said Sam.

“Yeah, I know,” said Pietro. “And technically, I’m not gay.”

“Right, sorry.” Sam paused. “How do you identify, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Pansexual. And I don’t mind,” Pietro said. 

“That can’t have been easy, growing up in Russia with all the bans and stuff. Or did you not realize it back then?”

“No, I knew. I figured it out pretty young, actually, I just didn’t have a name for it at first,” said Pietro. “I tried to kiss another boy on the playground when I was nine and nearly got expelled for it. My mom saved the day, told them I was too young to know what I was doing and they let me off. Then she took me home and explained why it was dangerous for me to like boys, but that she’d always love me no matter what. That made it easier, knowing she wouldn’t hate me for who I liked. But it was still a relief when I finally didn’t have to be scared anymore.”

“Jeez... I can’t even imagine...”

They fell silent again for a little while. Though it was dark, Pietro could see the thoughtful frown on Sam’s face.

“Okay, sorry if I’m being invasive or anything, but we’re stuck in a cave in the wilderness, and I’m naturally curious so...” Sam said after a while. 

“It’s fine. I don’t mind at all,” Pietro assured him. “What did you want to ask?”

“You said you have suicidal tendencies. Last I checked, sacrificing yourself to save others isn’t the same as a death wish. I thought that asshole lawyer was just making shit up to discredit you, but... you don’t _actually_ want to die, do you?”

Pietro looked down at his hands, avoiding Sam’s gaze.

“Not really. Well, not actively at least,” he said quietly. “I’m doing better than I was, back before Jason was in prison, right after Clint died and all that. Knowing Jason can’t hurt me or anyone I care about helps. I would die for you or any of the others, you know. Willingly, without even thinking about it. Gladly, even. That’s about as far as my death wish stretches now, I think.”

“You think?” Sam said.

“Everybody’s got bad days.”

“Wanting to die is a pretty extreme ‘bad day’,” Sam pointed out.

“I know,” said Pietro. “It’s just... I lost two of the people I loved most within a few months of each other. And I lost one of them because the other bastard turned out to be a murdering lunatic. It messes you up, watching your best friend die in your arms from a bullet meant for you.”

“I know,” said Sam. “Trust me, I know, way more than I’d like to.”

“Did you lose someone?”

“My best friend, Riley. We grew up together back in D.C., before I moved up here.”

“What happened?” Pietro asked.

“Gang fight,” said Sam. “Things got messy, this big guy was about to take me out, Riley stepped in and got a knife to the gut for his trouble. Nothing I could do.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Thanks,” said Sam. “Y’know, seeing Clint dead... it kinda brought me back to losing Riley. With the Avengers... I never dreamed we’d have to go through something like that.”

“I still feel guilty about it,” Pietro admitted. “I should’ve been the one dead, not him. But I know that if our places were switched, I’d have done the same for him.”

“I know how that feels, Pietro. And it sucks.”

“It really does.”

They fell silent again, for longer this time.

“We should probably try to sleep,” Pietro said finally.

“Yeah...” Sam agreed. “‘Try’ being the key word in that sentence...”


	21. Climb

Morning came and between the sun and the noisily singing birds, none of the Avengers could have slept in if they wanted to. Wanda had half hoped Pietro and Sam would show up in the middle of the night, but they hadn’t. The Avengers packed up camp and trekked into the woods where the two boys had entered last night, fanning out it pairs, calling their names. Wanda was with Natasha, who was doing her best to keep Wanda from getting too worried. They had been searching for around ten minutes when Tony shouted,

“Guys, I found something!”

Wanda’s heart started hammering nervously as she and Natasha hurried over to Tony. He was standing near the edge of a cliff, peering over the edge while Pepper watched anxiously. Once all the Avengers had gathered, Tony turned around.

“So, I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” he announced. “The bad news is, it looks like Pietro and Sam probably fell off this cliff. The good news is, it doesn’t look terribly steep so they might have survived. I tried calling down to them to see if they were there, but there was no answer, so either they wandered off, they’re knocked out, or they’re... well, dead.”

“So what do we do?” Wanda asked. 

“Honestly, I think the only thing we can do is keep heading down the mountain,” said Tony. “Once we get into range, we can call for help, both for ourselves and for them.”

“So we’re just going to leave them down there?” said Wanda.

“Yeah... Look, Wanda, I’m sorry, but there’s no way anybody could climb down there and we haven’t got rope, and this cliff is pretty unstable on top of it all, which is probably why they fell down there to begin with. So unless anybody’s got a better idea, it’s the only option we’ve got,” Tony said. 

“Unfortunately, Tony’s right,” said Steve. “If any of us tried to get to them, they’d just be stuck down there too. Leaving them is the only way we can save them.”

 

***

 

Pietro woke to a splitting headache. Sam was already awake and leaning against the cave wall.

“Good morning,” he said. “Sleep okay?”

“I was freezing and I think there may have been a rock stabbing my back, but otherwise, sure. You?” Pietro replied.

“About the same. Are you as starving as I am?”

“Probably.”

“Awesome. We’re off to a great start on our stranded-in-the-wilderness adventure,” said Sam sarcastically.

“Shall we go?” Pietro asked.

“Might as well.”

They got up and left the cave. The cliff walls were not terribly tall, but nowhere near being climbable, and the gorge seemed to go on for quite a while in both directions. 

“This may be harder than we thought,” said Pietro.

They turned left out of of the cave and started walking. And walking. And walking. At some point that neither of them noticed, the gorge started to grow narrower. The sun was high in the sky when they finally found themselves at a dead end.

“Well, shit,” said Sam. “Now what are we supposed to do?”

“We could try climbing it,” Pietro suggested.

“Are you crazy?”

“No, seriously. It won’t be easy, but it’s definitely more possible here than anywhere else we’ve seen.”

“I’m not doing it,” Sam said.

“Then I will,” said Pietro. “And if I make it to the top then you can follow.”

“Whoa there, buddy, slow down. This is a bad idea. That’s a pretty big ‘if’ you’re counting on, and I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to catch you if you fall,” said Sam.

“We can’t stay down here forever, Sam,” Pietro said. “And if I’m gonna die, I’d rather do it trying to survive than wasting away at the bottom of a hole.”

Sam sighed heavily.

“You really do have a death wish, don’t you,” he said. “Fine. I’ll be right here if you need me. And don’t hesitate to ask for help just to keep me from getting hurt. I’d die for you too, you know.”

“I know.”

Pietro took a steadying breath and turned to face the cliff. He looked up, squinting in the sunlight, determining the best possible path.

“Can I get a lift?” he asked.

Sam came over and gave him a leg-up. Pietro settled his hands and feet and paused.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Pietro replied.

Then he started to climb. It wasn’t so bad at first, almost easy. But the higher he got, the smoother the cliff face became, giving him fewer places to hold on. To top it off, he hadn’t eaten in twenty-four hours and, based on his still lingering headache, probably had a concussion, and it was all starting to take its toll on his strength. He paused again to catch his breath and looked up. The top wasn’t too far away. Surely he could push himself for just a little while longer. 

“You okay?” Sam called again.

“Fine,” Pietro called back, though he probably didn’t sound fine.

He took another deep breath and forced himself to keep climbing. The sun was beating hot on his back, sapping the little energy he had left. Then finally, there was dirt under his fingers.  He grabbed a tree root and hoisted himself up. He lay on his back with the cool earth pressing through his shirt as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Pietro!” Sam called. “Everything alright up there?”

“Yeah, gimme a minute!” 

Pietro got to his feet and immediately wished he hadn’t. His vision clouded and he staggered slightly, head pounding, heart skipping a beat as he drifted dangerously close to the cliff’s edge. He reached out his hand to steady himself against a tree and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take slow, even breaths. 

“Pietro?” Sam called.

“It’s fine, you can come up!” he managed to shout.

The pounding in his head was getting worse and he slowly lowered himself back to the ground, leaning against the tree trunk. He sat like this, unmoving, until Sam crawled up over the cliff. 

“Oh good, you made it,” he said, surprised at how weak his own voice sounded.

Sam looked over at him from where he lay panting on the ground.

“Dude, are you okay? You look awful,” he said.

“I feel awful.”

Sam got up and came to Pietro’s side, a concerned look on his face.

“Man, we gotta get you some water, you’re dehydrated as hell. You should’ve worked up a sweat climbing that cliff and there’s barely a drop on you. Come on, let’s see if we can find a stream or something.”

“I can’t,” Pietro said. “I can’t...”

“If you don’t, you’ll die. I’ll carry you if I have to!” said Sam.

“No, no, I can walk, just help me,” said Pietro.

He didn’t want to make Sam carry him, not when he was probably in nearly as bad of shape. Still, he couldn’t help feeling like he might pass out if he tried to stand.

“You’re fucking impossible, you know that?” Sam said, helping Pietro to his feet.

“So I’ve been told,” Pietro replied.

He draped his arm over Sam’s shoulders and they began to stumble through the woods, Sam carrying more of Pietro’s weight than either of them would admit. Pietro’s head was aching more than ever and he was beginning to worry that they wouldn’t find water in time. Suddenly, Sam forced them to a halt.

“Do you hear that?” he asked quietly.

Pietro was too tired to speak, so he shook his head. He wished he hadn’t.

“Running water. We’re nearly there,” said Sam.

They started walking again. Pietro’s legs felt like rubber and he was surprised he was even managing to move them. He could hear the running water now, but his senses all seemed to be fading in and out like a badly tuned radio, so he had no idea how close they were. Finally, they stopped again and Sam lowered Pietro to the ground underneath a tree. 

“You stay here, I’ll bring you some water,” he said.

Like Pietro could’ve moved if he wanted to. He leaned back again the tree and fought to stay conscious, watching Sam use a leaf to scoop up some water from the stream. He hurried back over as quick as he could without spilling and gently tipped the water into Pietro’s mouth. The water was a little bit dirty, but Pietro didn’t care. Water had never tasted so good in his life and he doubted it ever would again. Sam returned to the stream and got some more, then helped Pietro drink it.

“What about you?” Pietro asked hoarsely.

“Don’t worry about me,” said Sam. “I’m not the one who’s barely conscious.”

He brought over a few more leaf-fuls of water before stopping, saying they should pace it so Pietro wouldn’t get sick. He went back to the stream and finally got some water for himself, then came and sat next to Pietro under the tree.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“A little better,” said Pietro. “I think I might manage not to pass out now, at least.”

“Well, that’s progress.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go on, though,” Pietro continued. 

“That’s okay. We’ll stay here,” said Sam.

“No, Sam, you can’t. I can’t make you stay here, just go on without me,” Pietro said. “You can send someone up to get me once you’re out of here, if I’m still alive.”

“Okay, now you’re just being stupid,” said Sam. He almost looked angry, except for the obvious pain in his eyes.. “Look, Pietro, I get that you want me to get off this mountain alive. That’s fine. Noble, I suppose. But you’re a fucking drama queen. You’ve got some death-wish, hero-complex shit going on, buddy. I swear to God, you’re worse than Steve, which is saying a lot and Bucky can back me up on that one. But you don’t have to sacrifice yourself to help anybody else. It’s one hundred percent possible to save someone’s life and live to tell the tale. I totally get that you don’t want me to die up here on your account. But I ain’t leaving you up here to die either. We’re _both_ gonna make it out of this, I promise. So yes, I can stay here. ‘Cause I’m not giving up on you, Pietro. Not today.”


	22. Out of the Mountains

“Everybody stop!” Bucky shouted suddenly.

They had been walking all day and the sun was now beginning to set, but Wanda was sure they still had at least an hour left of light before they’d need to stop for the night. All the same, they came to a halt.

“What is it?” Natasha asked.

“I’ve got service.”

“Wait, seriously?!” said Tony.

“Yeah, but I’ve only got twenty percent battery left,” said Bucky.

“Then make the call,” Steve said. “Let’s get outta here.”

They all sat down on the edge of the road as Bucky dialed 911.

“Hi, um so my friends and I were roadtripping in the mountains and got into an accident. We were out of cell service so we’ve been walking for two days until we could get a signal... I’m not sure exactly... oh sweet, thanks.... two of our friends also got separated from us higher up on the mountain, there was this cliff, we think they fell down.... thank you... okay, thanks.”

Bucky hung up and slipped his phone into his pocket.

“Well?” Wanda said.

“They’re on their way. They tracked the location of the call so we’ve just gotta sit right here ‘til they arrive,” Bucky said. “They’re also sending up a search and rescue team to find Sam and Pietro.”

 

***

 

The forest was getting dark around Pietro and Sam as they sat by the stream. Pietro still wasn’t well enough to walk, so Sam had been bringing him water periodically despite being in pretty bad shape himself. As the sun set, its warmth left with it. Pietro tried to hide how much he was shivering, curling himself into a ball and trying to sleep with little luck. At one point, Sam took off his jacket and draped it over Pietro like a blanket.

“No, don’t,” he protested.

“Shush,” said Sam, tucking the jacket around Pietro a little tighter.

The jacket didn’t help all that much, but it was another layer against the cold. He tried to fall asleep again to no avail. Though it was dark, Pietro could make out Sam’s silhouette shivering beside him. He inched himself closer so their bodies were pressed against one another and wrapped Sam in the other half of the jacket. 

“Thanks,” Sam said.

“We’re both making it out of this, remember?” said Pietro.

He couldn’t see Sam’s face, but he could tell he smiled at that. 

 

***

 

It was dark by the time the rescue vehicles arrived. They gave the Avengers blankets and water and canisters of hot soup, then asked them some questions to help the team that was on its way to find Pietro and Sam. As they were driven back down the mountain, the paramedics checked them all for injuries. Everyone was deemed fine except for some minor cuts and bruises. Wanda had expected them to stop off in the same little town they had stayed in the night before the crash, but the driver kept going, clearly intent on getting them back to the city as soon as possible. They drove through the night, everyone trying to sleep as best as they could. They were all exhausted, but worry for Pietro and Sam made them all restless. It was around noon the next day when they finally reached the city. The driver dropped each of them off at their own house. Wanda was one of the last to be dropped off. She climbed the stairs of her apartment complex and stepped inside. She was surprised to see her mom there; apparently she’d had the day off for once.

“Wanda! You’re home earlier than I expected,” her mom said. “Where’s Pietro?”

“W-we got into an accident along the way,” Wanda explained. “Pietro got lost while we were trying to get back. He’s still out there on the mountain.”

The tears that had been hiding just behind her eyes finally fell down her cheeks and she ran to her mother’s arms.

 

***

 

Pietro slowly opened his eyes. He was curled up against Sam like he had been during the night, but the forest was light now. Morning had come. Sam was still asleep. Pietro’s head still ached and he felt nauseous with hunger. He heard unfamiliar voices and the sound of bodies pushing their way through the foliage toward them. 

“Sam,” he said, but his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper.

Pietro tried to lift his head, but it was too heavy. A young man wearing some sort of uniform appeared from behind a tree.

“Sir! Sir! I found them!” the man shouted.

The rustling of approaching footsteps increased and several more uniformed people joined the young man. Pietro blinked at them. His eyelids felt so heavy and he didn’t have the strength to fight it. He was vaguely aware of someone standing over them before he slipped out of consciousness once again.

 

***

 

Wanda had just gotten out of the shower and put on clean clothes when she heard the phone ring. A minute later, her mom hurried into her room.

“They found Pietro,” she said.

“Where is he?” Wanda asked, heart pounding. _Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead_.

“The hospital. He’s going to be alright.”

Wanda let out a sigh of relief.

“Can we go see him?” she asked.

“Yes,” her mom said. “We’re going now.”

Wanda snatched up the closest pair of shoes and shoved her feet into them, then followed her mom out to the car.

 

***

 

It was quiet except for a steady beeping and two voices whispering softly. Whatever Pietro was lying on felt strangely soft and warm. He opened his eyes, blinking in the sudden light. He was in a hospital room. He glanced around. His mom was sitting in a chair by his bed, her head resting on her hand, eyes closed. Wanda and Tony stood at the foot of the bed, whispering about something. Pietro blinked hard, trying to clear the fog in his brain, trying to wake himself up and remember the last thing that had happened. He had been in the woods... barely conscious... lying next to...

“Sam,” he gasped.

What had happened to him? Was he alright? Had he survived? The beeping from the machine monitoring his heart rate sped up as panic gripped him. Wanda and Tony hurried to his side.

“Whoa there, kiddo, calm down,” Tony said.

“Where’s Sam?” Pietro asked desperately.

“He’s fine, he’s okay,” said Wanda. “It’s all okay. You’re safe now.”


	23. The Underpass

“Seriously? You think Hydra was behind it?” Natasha said skeptically.

It was a week since the Avengers had returned from their disastrous road trip. Pietro and Sam had been released from the hospital and they were all sitting on Tony’s rooftop balcony. 

“It makes sense,” said Sam. “That thing wasn’t in the road by accident and its only obvious function was to crash a car. The fact that it was there just in time for us to hit it can’t possibly be a coincidence.”

“But how would they have known we were going to be on that road at that time?” Wanda asked. “If they wanted to kill us, or even just hurt us, why do it in a way that leaves so much up to chance? Sure, that road doesn’t get a lot of traffic, but somebody else could easily have come across it instead of us.”

“Unless they were spying on us,” Sam said. “They could’ve had people in the woods watching for us to come down that road.”

“What, and had walkie-talkies or something to tell somebody to lay down the spikes once they saw us?” said Rhodey. “You’re giving Hydra a bit too much credit in the intelligence department.”

“I dunno, Hydra’s not _all_ brawn,” said Steve. “They orchestrated that attack the night Clint died, shutting off the power and everything. They managed to stay on the run for two weeks after that, all while keeping Bucky prisoner. Hydra’s got at least a few brains in their ranks.”

“Yeah, they _had_ Jason. But he’s in jail now. Who else have they got making the plans?” Pietro said.

“Zola,” said Bucky grimly.

“Seriously? That little prick?” said Tony.

“Why else do you think they keep him around?” Bucky said. “He’s not exactly a fighter.”

“Fair point,” said Thor. “But do you really think he could have schemed this up?”

“Yeah, I do,” said Bucky. “When they had me locked up, Zola was the only one besides Frost that had any idea how to actually lead an interrogation. He never personally got his hands dirty, but all the shit Frost did to me that wasn’t just beating me to a pulp... that all came from Zola.”

“But why would they do that?” Wanda asked. “Jason was the one out for blood and he’s in jail now.”

“You really think Schmidt would’ve let Jason have that much pull if he didn’t want us dead too?” Steve said.

“So what do we do now? We can’t just let them get away with it,” said Natasha.

“I’ve got to confront Schmidt,” said Steve. 

“What, you’re just gonna _talk_ to him?” said Tony. “He tried to kill us.”

“No. We’re past talking now. I’m gonna fight him.”

Everyone stared at Steve like he’d gone mad.

“That is an absolutely horrible idea,” Bucky said.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed, Steve!” said Natasha.

“You’re not gonna get a fair fight outta him, you know that,” said Sam.

“I’m not letting you do it,” said Bucky. 

“I’m not asking for permission,” said Steve firmly. “If Schmidt wants to play dirty, I’m not gonna let him kick our asses just ‘cause I’d rather play clean. He’s got the upper hand, but only because he and the rest of Hydra are ruthless. Our own code isn’t gonna keep us alive anymore. Hydra’s making the rules now, so we’ve gotta play by them. And I plan on using that to our advantage.”

“You’re not saying you’d _kill_ Schmidt if it came down to that?” said Bucky nervously.

“I said I’ll play by their rules, but I’m not sinking to their level. Hydra are bullies. We take care of bullies. It’s as simple as that.”

 

***

 

The challenge had been sent, the plans made. The night arrived and the Avengers all loaded up into Tony’s new SUV. It had been agreed that the fight would be hand-to-hand only, no weapons, but they all knew Schmidt was unlikely to keep that promise, so Steve had a knife tucked into his pocket just in case. They drove to the bridge where they’d planned to meet and parked. Pietro could see the silhouettes of the Hydra gang waiting under the bridge. 

“We can still call this off, Steve,” Bucky said quietly. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes I do,” said Steve.

They leaned in to kiss and Pietro turned away, letting them have a private moment.

“Come on, let’s get this over with,” Steve said a moment later.

They got out of the car and joined Hydra under the bridge. They could hear cars speeding by overhead, the sound magnified like thunder by the cement walls that hid them from view.

“I hope you’re ready, Rogers,” said Schmidt, stepping forward.

“I’m always ready,” said Steve.

They both stood at the ready, eying each other like wolves ready to pounce. Pietro was standing next to Bucky and could practically feel the anxiety emanating from him. Then Schmidt threw the first punch. Steve dodged and retaliated, his fist meeting its mark. Schmidt punched again, this time getting Steve on the jaw. But Steve was fast and skilled and managed to get several more hits in before Schmidt kicked him away. They faced-off again and, just as they had all predicted, Schmidt drew a knife. Steve rolled his eyes in frustration and pulled out his own knife. They were evenly matched once again. They circled each other, each silently daring the other to be the first to make a move. Then suddenly, Steve dove forward and Schmidt’s knife sunk between his ribs. Everyone froze, staring in shock as Steve stumbled backward and fell to the ground. 

“NO!” Bucky screamed.

Pietro and Sam lunged forward to hold him back, but he pushed them away and ran to Steve’s side. The rest of Hydra had started to scatter, but Schmidt still stood there, a shocked yet pleased expression on his face. Bucky took the knife from Steve’s limp fingers and stood up, glaring at Schmidt venomously.

“Bucky no!” Sam shouted.

He made to run after him but Pietro grabbed his arm and held him back. They didn’t need anyone else to get killed tonight. By this time, the only member of Hydra left in the underpass was Schmidt. The rest of the Avengers were watching Bucky nervously, wondering what he would do, but Bruce had snuck over to where Steve lay and was checking the damage. Suddenly, Bucky lunged at Schmidt, knife raised, knocking him to the ground and hitting him over and over. Schmidt barely fought back at first, then he seemed to give up all together. Then Bucky froze, eyes wide. He scrambled to his feet, backing several feet away from Schmidt before collapsing to his knees again. The knife fell from his bloodstained hand with a clang.

“Oh God,” Pietro gasped.

Schmidt was dead.

“We need to get out of here,” said Rhodey.

Bucky was shaking, staring at Schmidt. Natasha hurried over and knelt in front of him, blocking his view of the body.

“Bucky, we need to go, okay? We need to get out of here,” she said urgently.

A faint sound caught Pietro’s ear. Sirens.

“We really need to get out of here, right now,” he said.

“Thor, help me with Steve,” Bruce said. “Tony, start the car.”

They managed to get Bucky and Steve into the SUV.

“The knife!” Wanda said suddenly.

“What about it?” Sam said.

“It’s covered in Bucky’s fingerprints,” said Wanda.

“Shit...”

“I’ve got it,” said Pietro.

He leapt from the car and ran back to the underpass. The sound of sirens was getting closer. Ignoring Schmidt’s body, he scooped up the knife and ran back to the car, jumping in and slamming the door behind him.

“Go!” 

Tony stepped on the gas and they zoomed off.

“We need to get to the hospital,” said Bruce.

“What? Why?” Tony said.

“Steve’s still alive.”


	24. What Death Means

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild trigger warning for portrayal of a panic attack

Tony tore into the hospital parking lot and parked horribly. He hadn’t even turned off the car before Bruce and Thor got out, carrying Steve between them. They checked him in and he was wheeled away on a stretcher, leaving the rest of the Avengers to sit in the lobby and wait for news. Pietro looked over at Bucky, who was distractedly trying to hide his bloodstained hands in his jacket. 

“Sam, help me out please,” Pietro muttered, jerking his head in Bucky’s direction.

Sam caught on immediately. They both stood up and went over to Bucky, gently leading him to the bathroom. Once the door shut behind them, Pietro peered down the aisle to make sure the stalls were all empty. Then he turned on one of the sinks. Sam gave Bucky a little nudge in the ribs to prompt him forward. 

“Come on, we gotta get you cleaned up,” he said.

Bucky went up to the sink and ran his hands under the water, staring down at them as the blood swirled down the drain. He seemed to be frozen, so Pietro got some soap and took Bucky’s hands, scrubbing away all sign of what had happened. As he stood with Bucky’s hands in his, he realized that Bucky was shaking. He turned off the sink and got a handful of paper towels, catching Sam’s eye in the mirror as he did so. He dried off Bucky’s hands and threw away the paper towels. When he turned back to Bucky, he had sunk to the floor with his face in his hands. Pietro and Sam were immediately on the floor next to him.

“I’m gonna go to jail. I can’t go to jail, I can’t, Steve needs me, I don’t wanna go to jail, I can’t be locked up again...” Bucky sobbed.

Pietro had no idea what to do. He looked at Sam, who looked just as panicked as Pietro felt.

“You’re not gonna go to jail, Bucky,” Sam said. “We’re not gonna let that happen.”

“But I killed him, I’m a murderer. Oh God, I’m a murderer...”

“You’re _not_ a murderer,” said Pietro. “You didn’t mean to kill him. You thought he’d killed Steve, you were upset.”

“Oh God... I have to turn myself in. I’m a murderer, I’m a _monster_ ,” Bucky said. “I have to go to jail, I’m too dangerous.”

“You killed _one guy_ in a _fight_ because he’d just knifed your boyfriend,” said Sam. “That doesn’t make you dangerous, or a monster. Not in my book at least. A bit impulsive, yes, but not a monster.”

“But I _killed_ him!”

“But you didn’t _want_ to, and that’s what matters,” said Pietro.

“Do you think the cops will care about that?” Bucky challenged.

“You’re not turning yourself in,” said Pietro. 

“But they’ll find me, they’ll figure out it was me and they’ll arrest me and it’ll be worse ‘cause I tried to hide it...”

“No, they won’t,” said Sam. “We’re not gonna let that happen.”

“But then they’ll arrest _you_.”

“No, they won’t.”

“Sam, I’m a killer, I killed Schmidt!”

“Killing one person doesn’t make you a killer,” said Pietro.

“That’s not what you said when they killed Clint,” said Bucky.

“This is different.”

“How? How is this different?”

“It just is, okay? _You’re_ different, you’re not like Jason. You’re _good_ ,” Pietro said desperately.

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are,” said Sam. “Schmidt stabbed Steve, you avenged him. What’s our name for if you don’t use it?”

“But we weren’t supposed to kill anybody,” said Bucky.

“Accidents happen.”

“How is stabbing someone in the heart an accident?”

“Bucky, listen to me,” said Pietro. “No one could possibly see how much remorse you feel right now and think Schmidt’s death was an act of cold-blooded murder. You’re not a bad person and you’re not going to jail.”

 

***

 

Fifteen minutes later, Pietro, Sam, and Bucky finally emerged from the bathroom and rejoined the others in the waiting room.

“Everything okay?” Wanda asked as Pietro sat down next to her.

“Yeah, just making sure Bucky doesn’t do anything stupid,” said Pietro quietly. “Any news yet?”

“Not yet,” Wanda replied. “Thor called Steve’s mom though so she’s on her way here.”

Pietro nodded and rubbed his temples wearily.

“God, I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now...” he muttered.

“I can,” said Wanda. “In a way, at least.”

Pietro looked at her. He hadn’t really thought about how it had been for her, seeing him in the hospital, nearly dead. Not just once, but three times. And the last two times, he hadn’t even cared; he could have died and been fine with it and not thought once about what it would have done to Wanda. Or to his mother. Or to anyone for that matter. He’d watched Clint die and it had half destroyed him, but he hadn’t even thought of what his own death would have meant to the people he loved. No, to the people who _loved him_. He’d just witnessed what the possibility of Steve’s death meant to Bucky – it had broken him, twisted him, made him do things he’d never do and punished him for it. Pietro suddenly felt horribly, overwhelmingly selfish.


	25. Take the Fall

It was two painful days later before the doctors were able to give them the news that Steve was going to survive, provided nothing went unexpectedly wrong. However, they were not given long to revel in this good news, as barely an hour later, the TV in the waiting room announced that Schmidt’s body had been found beneath the bridge. This led to Bucky having another panic attack in the hospital bathroom. Thor and Rhodey had gone after him to help calm him down and make sure he didn’t try anything stupid. 

“Tony?” Pietro said as they sat in the waiting room.

“Hmm?” Tony replied distractedly, frowning at the TV screen as the news channel made its report on Schmidt.

“Can I borrow your car for a little bit? It won’t take long, I just need to... drop something off.”

“Yeah, sure,” said Tony. 

He fished the keys out of his jeans pocket and tossed them over. Pietro caught them one-handed and stood up.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Pietro left the hospital and went out to the SUV. It felt weird being in the driver’s seat instead of piled in the back with all the Avengers. He adjusted the seat and the mirrors (Tony was slightly shorter than him) and started the engine. He drove for about ten minutes until he found a bridge that got very little traffic. He pulled over onto the shoulder and turned off the car, then hopped into the back. Tucked into the pocket in the back of the seat was the knife that had killed Schmidt, wrapped in a napkin. Pietro unwrapped it and got out of the car, glancing around. The bridge was practically deserted except for a couple of cars driving by. Not hesitating a moment, he threw the knife as far as he could off the bridge and into the river. Then he got back in the car and drove back to the hospital.

 

***

 

It took three weeks for Steve to recover and be let out of the hospital. It was a relief to have him back, both because everyone was glad that he was alright, and because he was the only one who could efficiently convince Bucky not to turn himself in to the police, something which he threatened to do nearly every day. It had been determined that Schmidt’s death was officially a murder and the police were now looking for suspects, which put all the Avengers on edge.

“What happens when they decide we had something to do with it and search my car to find the knife that killed him in the back seat?” Tony asked one day.

Most of the Avengers were all sitting around at Stark Mansion; Steve and Thor were running late.

“They won’t find it there. They won’t find it ever, unless they get really really desperate,” said Pietro.

“What did you do?” Wanda asked.

“I threw it in the river. The day they found Schmidt’s body,” Pietro replied. “It’s unlikely they’d search the river, especially the part where I left it, and even if they found the knife, all traces of Schmidt’s blood and Bucky’s fingerprints would be long gone by then.”

“That is actually genius,” said Sam, impressed.

“No need to sound so surprised,” said Pietro.

“Remind me never to piss you off, kid,” said Tony. “I think you’re runner-up for ‘most likely to get away with murder’.”

“Who’s in first place?” Pietro asked.

“Natasha. Obviously.”

Tony checked his watch and frowned.

“Where the hell are Steve and Thor?” he said. “It’s not like them to be late.”

“They must’ve gotten held up,” Natasha said.

Just then, Thor arrived at last.

“Where’s Steve?” Bucky asked.

“He’s been arrested,” Thor replied grimly.

“What?!” 

“What happened?” Bruce asked.

“The police came by the house to ask some questions about Schmidt’s death,” said Thor. “He told them he did it. Said it was self-defense, that he was just trying to hold him off. They’ve taken him in for further questioning.”

“Oh Christ...” Bucky said, sinking to the ground. 

“He took the fall for Bucky...” said Natasha, sounding both awestruck and horrified.

“I always said he was the best out of all of us,” Tony said. “But holy fuck, going to prison...”

“I have to turn myself in,” said Bucky. “I can’t let him do this. I can’t let him go to prison for me.”

“If he’s claimed self-defense, he might not even go to jail. If you turn yourself in, you’ll have a murder charge. You could be in there for life,” said Rhodey. 

“It’s actually kinda brilliant,” said Natasha. “The self-defense claim is easy enough to prove, and by taking the blame, he’s shutting down the case so they won’t keep looking for who did it.”

“Bucky, I know you’re used to being the one saving Steve’s ass, but just this once, I think you better let him save yours,” said Sam.


	26. Hook-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains smut, just so you know ;)

It took two weeks for the police to finish their investigation, and when they did, Steve was let free. The self-defense charge would go on his criminal record, but he didn’t have to serve time apart from what he had spent in jail while the police made their decision. All the Avengers were there to welcome him home, and Bucky nearly knocked him over with the desperate kiss he gave Steve the moment he walked through the door.

 

By this point, summer was nearly over. The new school year was approaching, meaning Wanda and Pietro would be returning to Shield High and Tony, Bruce, and Rhodey would be leaving them all for college. On the last day of August, they had a huge send-off party at Stark Mansion. The next week, the boys were off to college and the Maximoffs were back at high school.

 

***

 

A few days into the new term, Pietro and Wanda were sitting at lunch in the cafeteria when a black-haired boy came up to their table. He was thin and pale and wore all black except for the dark green t-shirt underneath his leather jacket. 

“You’re the Maximoffs, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” said Wanda. “You’re Thor’s brother, aren’t you? Loki?”

“Yes, that’s me. Do you mind if I join you?” he asked.

“Go ahead,” said Wanda.

Loki sat down across from them. Pietro watched him curiously for a few minutes.

“You’ve never talked to us before. Never even acknowledged us. Why now?” he said suddenly.

Loki looked up from his lunch, his hair falling into his eyes and obscuring part of his face. 

“I have no friends, my ex-girlfriend hates my guts, and I turn eighteen next month and suspect my father will kick me out when that happens,” he said. “I’d rather not end up on the street or in _real_ prison, so I figured I should at least attempt to make some sort of friends.”

“But why us?” Pietro asked.

“Most of my brother’s friends don’t like me, but you two are different,” said Loki. “You don’t know me, unlike everyone else in this god-forsaken school. You’re a blank slate. And I dunno, I just... had a feeling... look, if you don’t want to get caught up with me, that’s fine, I get it, I’ll go.”

“No, it’s fine, that’s not what I meant at all,” said Pietro quickly. “I was just curious.”

“And if by ‘getting caught up’ with you, you mean getting sucked into whatever trouble you drag along with you, I can guarantee it’s nothing compared to the trouble we get with the Avengers,” said Wanda.

“Oh yes, I know all about that,” Loki chuckled. “I hope you won’t be offended when I say I’d like to avoid getting into that sort of trouble.”

“Not at all,” said Wanda. 

“Quite the opposite really,” said Pietro. “You’re probably much smarter than the rest of us for it. You’ll have a much higher life expectancy.”

Loki chuckled again.

“Oh, I’m not so sure about that.”

 

***

 

Loki began joining them for lunch every day. Pietro wasn’t really sure how Loki had managed to reach senior year with zero friends to his name, because he turned out to be quite charming, if a bit of a sarcastic ass at times (but as a sarcastic ass himself, Pietro honestly didn’t mind). Wanda and Loki seemed to have more of a knack for casual conversation with each other, but Pietro enjoyed his company all the same.

 

A few weeks into their friendship, Pietro was over at Loki’s house, where they had met up to work on their chemistry homework. Wanda had gone out with Natasha and Pepper for a girls’ night, meaning it was just the two of them on Loki’s bedroom floor, surrounded by papers with formulas scrawled across them that neither of them understood.

“This is hopeless,” said Pietro, throwing down his pencil in defeat. 

“Agreed,” said Loki. “If I don’t take a break, my brain’s gonna melt.”

“I think mine already has.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“It was inevitable,” Pietro said, sprawling out on the floor.

Loki chuckled and they fell silent for a while.

“This is kind of an awkward question,” Loki said suddenly. 

“I love awkward questions, I thrive on them,” said Pietro with a grin.

“Good, because this one’s incredibly awkward.”

“Well go on, what is it?”

“Have you.... shit, there’s no delicate way of putting this... have you had sex with anyone since, well... you know...?” Loki asked, eying Pietro through the locks of hair that so often hid his eyes.

Pietro sat up and looked at him before answering.

“No, I haven’t. I, uh... well, I.... I was almost raped last March so, well... that kind of put me off for a while...” he said quietly, picking absently at a loose bit of carpet.

“Oh... God, I’m sorry. That’s awful,” said Loki. 

“It’s fine. I... well, I suppose I’m not exactly over it, but I’ve coped so far,” Pietro paused. “Just out of curiosity... why were you wondering?”

Loki blushed.

“Well... I was gonna ask if you wanted to have sex. Just for fun, nothing serious. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable... Christ, I probably already have. I’m sorry, this was stupid. Let’s just pretend this never happened...”

Pietro leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then pulled away with a grin.

“I said I’m coping, remember?” he said. “Nothing serious, then? I’m cool with that.”

“Seriously?” said Loki in surprise. 

“Seriously. Now stop looking so startled and kiss me, you idiot.”

Loki grinned mischievously and pounced forward, kissing Pietro hard on the mouth. Pietro responded with enthusiasm. He was so caught up in kissing him that he’d barely noticed that Loki had pulled them to their feet. They broke apart for a moment, catching their breath, then Loki dove back in, slamming Pietro against the wall. Pietro was briefly caught off guard by Loki’s sudden display of dominance, but took it quickly in stride; in fact, it was rather hot. Loki had begun kissing his neck now, eliciting a little moan of pleasure from the back of Pietro’s throat.

“Why the hell are you still dressed?” he panted.

“I could ask the same of you,” Loki replied, his breath hot against Pietro’s neck.

Then the clothes were coming off, and Loki had pinned him against the wall again and the cold surface sent chills across Pietro’s flushed skin. They were kissing again, their hands desperately pulling each other closer. 

“God, fuck me already,” Pietro groaned impatiently between kisses.

“Give me a minute and I will,” said Loki.

He left Pietro against the wall and hurried into the bathroom. The sound of several cabinet and drawers being searched drifted back to where Pietro stood panting, then finally Loki returned, a bottle of lube in hand.

“Don’t want to ruin the moment with bad preparation,” he said before kissing Pietro once again.

They kissed for another full minute before Loki turned Pietro around. Loki continued kissing the back of his neck and his shoulders as he slowly sank into him. Pietro moaned in pleasure, pressing his forehead against the wall. Loki’s right hand snaked up to grasp Pietro’s and his left curled around Pietro’s hip, guiding their bodies together in a steady rhythm. It was a strange and highly arousing combination of roughness and gentleness; Loki was dominant and rough but never pushed Pietro too far. Loki came inside him and pulled out, kissing the back of his neck again.

“How do you want to finish?” he whispered against Pietro’s skin. “On the bed? On the floor? Take me from behind? Or shall I ride you?”

Pietro had his own idea. He turned around and kissed Loki, backing him up to the desk by the window. He laid Loki down on the desk and positioned himself between his legs.

“Scandalous, now all the neighbors will know,” Loki teased, eying the window behind him with a playful grin.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve fucked plenty of boys in front of that window,” said Pietro.

“And girls,” Loki added.

Pietro grinned and entered Loki. He was so far gone already from the fucking Loki had given him, he wasn’t sure it would take him much time to finish, but still he was determined to give Loki just as much as he had gotten. Pietro ran his hands up Loki’s thighs. He was much gentler with Loki than Loki had been with him. Finally, he came and the tension in his body released. They both slid from the desk into a panting pile on the floor.

“That was good,” Pietro said.

“Yes it was,” said Loki.

Pietro looked up at him with a smile. 

“If you ever have a random desire for no-strings-attached sex again, just call me up, okay?” he said.

Loki laughed breathlessly.

“Oh, I will,” he said. “And the same goes for you, by the way.”

“I will definitely be taking you up on that,” Pietro laughed.

 


	27. Another Winter

“You had sex with my brother?!?” Thor exclaimed.

“Uh, yeah...” said Pietro.

The Avengers were at Stark Mansion; Tony, Bruce, and Rhodey were visiting for Thanksgiving break and they had all gotten together like old times. Pietro had no idea how Thor had found out about him and Loki’s hook-up, but he had a feeling he was in for the most awkward conversation of his life.

“Oh my god...” said Thor in disbelief. “Oh my god...”

“Why the hell would you do that?” Tony asked as Thor wandered across the room muttering “oh my god” repeatedly.

Pietro just shrugged.

“We felt like it, I suppose.”

“You felt like it?” Tony echoed.

“What, like you’ve never had sex with someone for no real reason?” Pietro challenged.

“That’s not the point,” said Tony. “I never had sex with any of my friends’ little brothers.”

“That’s only because Thor’s the only one of us with a little brother,” said Natasha. “And admit it, if you didn’t think Loki was such a pain in the ass, you’d have banged him at some point too.”

“I would not!” said Tony defensively.

Pietro snickered, earning him a glare from Tony.

“I really don’t see what the big deal is,” he said. “I fucked Loki. So what?”

“Well, you’ve traumatized Thor, for one thing,” said Tony.

“What, ‘cause his brother had sex? I wasn’t his first, you know. Or is it the fact that it was _me_ specifically who had sex with him, ‘cause I’m your friend, and friends don’t usually fuck each others’ siblings?”

“A bit of both,” said Thor. “I definitely know you aren’t the first person Loki has slept with, but I’d still rather know as little about my brother’s sex life as possible. And yeah, it’s a bit weird that one of my friends had sex with my little brother. How would you feel if one of us slept with Wanda?”

That wiped the smirk off of Pietro’s face.

“Please leave me out of this,” said Wanda, though she was obviously holding back laughter.

Pietro turned to her, a betrayed look on his face.

“You told them, didn’t you?” he said. “Wanda, I swear to God...”

“I didn’t mean to,” said Wanda.

“How do you _accidentally_ tell _all_ of our friends that I fucked Loki Odinson?”

“We were chatting and Loki came up and, well... I happened to mention that you two had sex,” Wanda explained.

“So it just _came up_?” said Pietro.

“Pretty much.”

“She’s telling the truth, you know,” Sam piped up.

“I have never felt so betrayed,” Pietro said, not entirely seriously.

“Your ex-boyfriend literally tried to kill you multiple times,” Bucky pointed out.

Pietro groaned exasperatedly. 

“I still can’t believe you fucked my brother,” Thor said.

“Would you believe it if I described it to you?”

“Oh God, please don’t,” Thor said, horrified.

Pietro laughed.

“Does Loki’s dick have the ability to bestow the power of being a little shit upon those who are fucked by it?” Tony teased.

“I’ve always been a little shit, Stark,” said Pietro. 

“It’s true,” said Wanda.

“Will you forgive me for fucking your brother, Thor?” Pietro asked.

“I suppose. Bu you’re not going to start dating him, are you?” said Thor warily.

“Nope, just a hook-up. A one-time thing,” Pietro paused. “Two-time thing.”

“You fucked him twice?!” Thor said.

“....Maybe three times....”

 

***

 

The last few weeks of the semester flew by and winter break was upon them. Tony, Rhodey, and Bruce had all already finished their finals and returned to New York; Tony had managed to convince his parents to let Bruce move in with them so he wouldn’t have to go back to his dad during breaks. 

 

The final day of the semester was moving painfully slow. There were only two more classes left until they were free, but it felt like an age. Pietro had spent most of the period watching the second hand on the clock move at a snail’s pace. There were only about five minutes until the next bell when he slipped his phone from his jeans pocket and surreptitiously texted Loki from under the desk:

“ _Meet in the bathroom by the gym during passing period?_ ”

A few seconds passed before his phone screen lit up again.

“ _Hell yes,_ ” was Loki’s answer.

Pietro grinned and returned to staring at the clock. Only three minutes now. The slowest three minutes of his life. Finally, the bell rang and he made his way to the bathroom. Loki was already there when he arrived, leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face.

“Feeling horny, Maximoff?” he said.

“What can I say? Calculus just really makes me want to suck a dick,” Pietro teased.

He took Loki by the front of the shirt and backed him into the farthest stall, pushing him against the wall and kissing him. 

“We’ve only got about ten minutes, you better get on with it,” Loki reminded him.

Pietro gave him one more quick kiss before going to his knees and unzipping Loki’s jeans. He finished with a minute and a half to spare and stood up, kissing Loki again before stepping out of the stall. He froze. Standing at the sinks were Rumlow and Strucker of Hydra. They all stared at each other for a moment, then Loki came out of the stall behind Pietro and Rumlow and Strucker both smirked.

“Pietro, we’ve got to get to class, what’s going on?” Loki said, glancing between him and the two Hydra boys.

“Well, I already knew you were boy-loving slut, Maximoff, but I didn’t realize you were fucking this little snake,” said Rumlow.

“Oh fuck off,” said Pietro irritably.

“Oooh, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Rumlow laughed.

“What did you expect, he’s just had a cock in it,” said Strucker.

“Let’s go, Pietro,” Loki muttered.

“You two are real assholes, you know that,” Pietro said.

“I mean it, let’s go,” said Loki, pushing him toward the door.

Pietro let Loki steer him back into the corridor before protesting.

“Seriously? You’re just gonna let them walk all over you?” he said.

“If it keeps us from getting killed, or worse expelled, then yes,” said Loki, continuing to steer Pietro through the hallway.

“How the hell is getting expelled worse than getting killed?”

“....It came out wrong,” said Loki. “Look, my point is, you know even better than me what those two are capable of and you also happen to be on their hit list by default of being an Avenger. I’m just trying to keep us both from getting hurt by worse than a few vaguely homophobic remarks.”

“You know, you used to take a lot less shit. What happened to _that_ Loki?” Pietro said.

“He decided he didn’t want to go to prison,” Loki replied. “Now get your stupid ass to class before I have to carry you there. And please don’t try to pick a fight with Rumlow and Strucker after school. They’d eat you alive.”

 

***

 

Winter break arrived and brought with it a heavy snowfall. The Avengers’ holiday party was once again a success, though Clint’s absence left a gaping hole as it always did in times like these. Pretty soon, New Years was approaching and Tony had promised a party to top any New Years party he had ever thrown. 

 

Two days before the party, Pietro and Wanda were sitting at home when Wanda’s phone rang. Wanda checked the caller ID before picking up: it was Natasha.

“Hi Nat, what’s up?” she said. 

“I think Tony and Bruce are in trouble,” Natasha said.

“What do you mean? What’s happened?” Wanda asked.

“I got a weird text from Tony, so I called him to find out what was going on but he didn’t pick up,” Natasha explained. “Then I texted Bruce to ask if he was with Tony and I got the exact same text back from him as I got from Tony.”

“What did the text say?” 

“It was an address. I looked it up, it’s an abandoned auto repair shop just outside town.”

“Oh joy, my two favorite words to describe a location: ‘abandoned’ and ‘outside town’,” said Wanda grimly. “Sounds ominous. Do you think it’s Hydra?”

“It’s rather in their style lately, don’t you think?” said Natasha. “I think we need to go check this out, in case they really do have Tony and Bruce there. I’ve already called Rhodey and Steve. I’ll call the others while you and Pietro make your way to my house to meet up, okay?”

“Okay,” said Wanda. “Natasha... you know, this might be a trap.”

“Then how did they get Tony and Bruce’s phones? And even if it was a trap, I wouldn’t want to risk abandoning them.”

“We’ll see you in a little bit then,” Wanda said.

“See you in a bit. And bring any weapons you guys have.”

Wanda hung up. Pietro was watching her with a frown.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Nat thinks Hydra has Tony and Bruce,” Wanda replied. 

“Rescue mission, then?”

“Yup.”

 


	28. It All Comes Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for threatened suicide. also lots of emotional pain.

Sam’s mom’s minivan wasn’t quite as intimidating a vehicle as Tony’s SUV, but with Tony most likely being held hostage, they had had to make do. They parked outside the auto repair shop, which was more like a junk yard for cars, and got out of the van. These sort of “missions” always made Pietro understandably nervous, but for some reason, the usual butterflies in his stomach had been replaced by a looming sense of dread.

“Why do I get the feeling this is going to go really, horribly wrong?” he muttered as they approached the garage.

“Let’s hope that feeling is just a feeling, shall we?” said Steve.

He opened the garage door. The early evening light shone inside, showing nothing but cement walls and a few rusty shelves. 

“Okay...” Steve said. “Let’s split up. Sam, Nat, Pietro, Thor – you guys search the grounds. The rest of us will go inside and check the offices.”

They all went their separate ways. The grounds were much larger than they appeared from the parking lot, so the four of them agreed that they would cover more ground if the fanned out.

“But try to stay close,” Thor reminded them. “We don’t want a repeat of the last time we all wandered off on our own.”

Pietro was fairly certain Thor was looking at him as he said this. They spread out and began searching for any sign that Tony, Bruce, or any of Hydra had been there. The sun was nearly set and a few miraculously still working floodlights flickered to life. As the sky went black, the little warmth the sun had given fled. Pietro could handle cold, but it was probably in the single digits and the snow seeping through his sneakers wasn’t helping. His search soon led him behind a toolshed. He tried the door of the shed but it was locked. He was just about to head back to the main yard when something leapt at him from above, knocking him to the ground. If he was freezing before, he certainly was now. He shook the snow from his hair and scrambled to his feet to face to attacker. 

“Loki?!” he said, utterly perplexed.

Loki’s only response was to punch him in the face. Pietro backpedaled, dodging as Loki went for a second punch and a third.

“For fuck sake, does everyone I sleep with have to try to kill me?!” Pietro said as Loki took another swing at him.

He had no idea where Loki had learned to fight this well, but he was certainly the more skilled of the two. All Pietro had going for him was his speed – he could dodge and block, but he knew there was only so long he could keep that up. Sure enough, Loki soon backed him against the shed, leaving him no easy escape. Pietro ducked and dove between Loki’s legs. He tried to get to his feet, but the snow was too slick and Loki hadn’t missed a beat. He turned and kicked Pietro down before drawing a gun and aiming it at Pietro’s head. They stared at each other, panting, their breath rising in clouds on the frigid air.

“Loki, please don’t do this,” Pietro begged.

“I have to,” said Loki, the gun shaking in his hands.

“Why? You were never part of Hydra before, so why are you fighting for them?”

“I have to do this, Pietro! You don’t understand!”

“Then help me to.”

“I have to kill you,” said Loki, his voice quavering. “If I don’t... they’ll kill my brother.”

“No, they won’t. We’ll stop them,” said Pietro.

“You can’t stop them. They’re too strong.”

“We’re stronger. I promise we can stop them.”

“How can you promise that?” said Loki quietly.

“I don’t break my promises, Loki. They won’t hurt Thor. I swear on my life,” said Pietro.

Loki stared at him and slowly started lowering the gun.

“Good work, Loki! You’ve got him,” said a voice from behind him.

Pietro heart skipped a beat as Whitehall stepped out of the shadows. 

“Now just pull the trigger, and the deal is complete,” he said, standing behind Loki and crooning the words in his ear.

Loki shuddered but he didn’t raise the gun.

“No.”

“What did you say?” Whitehall said.

“I said no,” said Loki, more defiantly this time. “I won’t kill him.”

“You treacherous little coward,” Whitehall hissed.

Loki stared Whitehall directly in the face and threw the gun aside. A terrible look flashed across Whitehall’s face. Then suddenly he was attacking Loki, and Loki wasn’t fighting back, and Pietro watched in horror as Loki was knocked to the ground and kicked over and over. Thinking fast, Pietro scrambled to his feet and dove for the discarded gun. He straightened up and aimed it directly at Whitehall’s head.

“Whitehall!” he shouted fiercely.

Whitehall froze and turned.

“Leave him alone,” Pietro said, trying to sound as threatening as he could.

“Seriously, Maximoff?” Whitehall scoffed.

“I don’t want to kill you, Whitehall,” said Pietro. “But I will if I have to. So back away and let Loki go.”

“You don’t have the guts.”

“Don’t I?” said Pietro. 

He tightened his grip on the gun and let his finger inch toward the trigger, letting every ounce of loathing he felt for Whitehall paint itself across his face. It seemed to have worked because Whitehall slowly began to back away. Pietro kept the gun trained on him.

“Very well. But this isn’t the end of this. I’m warning you now, boy.”

Then Whitehall turned and left. Pietro let out a sigh of relief and shoved the gun into his waistband before helping Loki to his feet.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I think so,” Loki replied.

“Come on, let’s go find the others.”

They hurried out from behind the shed to find Thor, Sam, and Natasha running toward them.

“Is everything okay? We heard shouting,” Natasha asked.

“We’re fine. Mostly,” said Pietro.

“Loki, what are you doing here?” Thor asked.

“Being coerced into trying to kill my best friend. What are you doing here?” Loki replied.

“Wait, what? Who’s coercing you?”

“Hydra.”

“So they _are_ here...” said Sam.

“I just scared Whitehall off,” said Pietro. “We need to find the others and get out of here. Especially you, Thor.”

“Why?” Thor asked.

“Because they’re gonna want to kill you now.”

“Wait, why are they gonna want to kill Thor? Besides the usual,” Sam asked.

“Because I didn’t kill Pietro,” Loki explained.

“Can we getting moving now?” Pietro said impatiently.

“What the hell is going on?” Natasha said as they started making their way back to the parking lot.

“A trap,” said Pietro.

They reached the minivan to find Steve and Bucky waiting.

“There you guys are, thank God,” said Steve.

“What the fuck is Loki doing here?” Bucky asked.

“I’ll explain later,” said Pietro. “Where’s everybody else?”

Steve and Bucky exchanged an uncomfortable look.

“We don’t know,” Steve said.

“Those offices are sketchy as hell, there’s all sorts of hidden rooms as shit,” said Bucky. “None of the lights work so we had to use our phones and... well... Hydra’s in there. Everywhere. We barely made it out.”

“Shit...” Sam muttered.

“We have to go in there,” said Pietro, the sense of dread he’d had since they arrived escalating.

“It’s too dangerous,” said Bucky.

“My sister’s in there!”

“I know, Pietro. But she’s with Rhodey, she’ll be fine, and hopefully by now they’ll have found Tony and Bruce...” said Steve.

“She’s not with Rhodey,” Natasha said suddenly.

They all turned to see Rhodey running toward them, out of breath and bleeding.

“Dammit,” Pietro muttered under his breath. 

He had gone from dread to full blown panic now.

“Where are the others?” Steve asked as Rhodey joined them.

“I don’t know,” Rhodey panted. “It’s weird though, all the Hydra guys I saw seemed to be clearing out...”

“Dammit!” Pietro said again.

He started toward the building.

“Pietro, wait!” Sam shouted, starting to run after him.

Suddenly, a huge explosion went off, nearly knocking Pietro off his feet. The office building went up in a cloud of flame and smoke, sending rubble everywhere. Pietro’s ears were ringing but he barely noticed. There was only one thing on his mind.

“Wanda!” he shouted, running toward the exploding building.

Sam, Steve, and Thor all rushed to stop him and even with all their combined strength, they were struggling to hold him back. 

“Let me go!” he said desperately.

“You can’t go in there!” Steve said. “It’s too dangerous, you’ll get yourself killed.”

“I don’t care!” Pietro said, nearly choking on his tears.

“Pietro, please, there’s nothing you can do,” said Sam. “Please.”

Pietro’s strength began to wear out and he stopped struggling. The others hesitated before letting go of him, all on guard in case he made another attempt to run at the devastated building. Pietro tried to catch his breath, staring at the smoldering ruins, when something moving in the shadows caught his eye. It was Zola.

“You!” he snarled.

He bounded forward, evading any attempts at his friends trying to grab him again, and drew Loki’s discarded gun from his waistband. Zola froze in alarm as Pietro aimed the gun right between his eyes.

“You did this,” he said, his voice dangerously low.

“Yes, I’m afraid I did,” said Zola.

He sounded scared and falsely apologetic; Pietro wouldn’t let himself be tricked into pity.

“You killed my sister.”

“I didn’t intend to kill her,” Zola said. “Only Stark and Banner.”

“Do you think I care what you _intended_ to do?” Pietro said. “You killed her. And for that, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Pietro, no!” Bucky shouted, and suddenly he was standing between them, shielding Zola.

“Please move,” said Pietro impatiently.

“Don’t do this. I promise you don’t want to,” said Bucky.

“Do I not?” Pietro said. “He killed Wanda. He deserves to die.”

“I know. I know how you’re feeling right now. Trust me, I really do. But killing him won’t bring Wanda back and it certainly won’t bring you peace.”

“Peace isn’t what I want. I want revenge.”

“Revenge will give you nothing,” said Bucky. “You don’t want to become a murderer. Take it from someone who knows.”

“Please step aside,” said Pietro.

“No.”

“Don’t make me shoot you, Bucky.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Pietro knew he was right. He could never shoot Bucky, even if it meant getting to Zola. Hell, as distraught as he was, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to shoot Zola. 

“You’re right,” he said. “I can’t shoot you. But there’s someone else that I can.”

Then he aimed the gun at his own head. Bucky’s eyes went wide with panic. Pietro could barely keep his hand steady, but he stubbornly held the muzzle of the gun to his temple.

“Pietro...”

“Move or I pull the trigger.”

“You don’t want to do this,” said Bucky, taking a step forward.

“Just move, Bucky, please.”

“Pietro, please put the gun down.”

“Why should I? I’m as good as dead now anyways.”

Bucky was right in front of him now. He reached out and gingerly took the gun from Pietro’s trembling hand. As though the gun had been a crutch keeping him standing, Pietro sank to his knees. Bucky tucked the gun away and knelt in front of him. The sound of sirens drew near; someone must have seen the explosion and called the authorities. The grief that rage had held back finally spilled out and Pietro crumpled involuntarily into Bucky’s arms, trying desperately to find some form of comfort to cling to as painful sobs consumed him. 

 


	29. Breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you know, in case things weren't already miserable, it's only gonna keep getting more miserable from here until god knows when...

“They’re alive?” 

Pietro could hardly believe his ears. Wanda, Tony, and Bruce had somehow all survived the explosion. But only just. According to the doctors, they were all in critical condition, and it was very likely they wouldn’t all make it out of this. But they were alive. Wanda was alive. Pietro sank to the waiting room floor under the weight of a fresh wave of tears. He wasn’t sure why he was crying when he’d just found out his sister wasn’t dead after all. Whatever part of his brain controlled emotions must have broken under pressure and now all his reactions were muddled up. It wasn’t just his emotions that were muddled up. His entire brain seemed to have short circuited. When his mom had arrived at the hospital, it had taken him nearly a minute to recognize the arms holding him close. His ears had finally stopped ringing from the explosion, which helped clear up his muddled brain a little, and Wanda was alive and just might make it through this, and he thought maybe he saw a light at the end of the tunnel that had become his life.

 

***

 

Pietro spent most of the next two days at the hospital. It was New Years Eve, but he wouldn’t have even known if the waiting room hadn’t been decked out in banners. He had gone to the hospital that morning and sat by Wanda’s bedside until after he knew their mother would be off work. He didn’t want to be alone in the apartment right now – it felt too empty and joyless and he was scared of what he might do if he was stuck there for too long. So he stayed with Wanda, because even though she didn’t know he was there, just her presence comforted him. He had wanted to visit Tony and Bruce too, but they weren’t family, so it wasn’t allowed. The doctor had been kind enough to update him on their conditions however. It was still uncertain whether either of them would survive, and if they did, it would not be without consequences – it didn’t seem likely that Bruce would be able to walk again, and Tony would be deaf in his right ear. All three of them would be severely scarred from the burns and cuts they had received from the explosion and flying debris. 

 

It was late afternoon when Pietro finally left the hospital and returned home. He climbed the stairs with slow, tired steps and unlocked the door to the apartment.

“Mom, I’m home!” he called, hanging his key on the hook.

No answer. He paused for a moment. The shower wasn’t running. Maybe she was taking a nap. 

“Mom?” he called again.

Still no answer. He walked down the hall into the living room and froze. His mom was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

“Mom?” 

She didn’t respond. Pietro went over to her and knelt down. He checked her pulse: nothing. He put a hand above her mouth to see if she was breathing: nothing. He grabbed her shoulder and shook her gently, trying to wake her: nothing. 

“Mom? Please wake up. Come on, wake up,” he said in a small voice. “Mom?”

She was completely still, but the truth of the situation refused to sink in. Pietro shook her again, a bit less gently.

“Mom, please.... help,” he said, too quiet for anyone to possibly hear and come to his aid. “Someone help. Please. Mom, please....”

Finally something clicked in his brain and he got out his phone and dialed 911.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the woman on the line said.

“It’s my mom, I-I found her on the floor and she won’t wake up,” Pietro said. 

“Is she breathing?” the woman asked.

“No, and I can’t find her pulse either.”

“Stay where you are and don’t move the body,” said the woman. “Someone is on their way.”

Pietro hung up and dropped the phone, curling himself into a ball next to the couch. Still the truth refused to sink in; his brain had rejected it and wouldn’t let him believe it, not until they told him it was real. The emptiness of the apartment began to press down on him again and he grabbed his phone, calling the first person that came to mind.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Sam said when he picked up at last.

“I... I need you. It’s my mom.... can you come over?” Pietro said.

“I’m on my way,” said Sam.

He hung up and Pietro dropped the phone again. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. He stood up on shaking legs and went to answer it. A pair of paramedics stood outside. Pietro let them in and led them to the living room. They knelt next to his mom and examined her. It wasn’t long before one of them stood and came over to Pietro.

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid your mother is dead,” he said gently.

It was real. He had known it deep down but still the words came crashing down around his head. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” the medic asked.

Pietro didn’t answer. As though from a great distance, he heard the other medic call for a body bag. It was real. Too real. Pietro ran into the kitchen and threw up in the sink. He turned on the faucet to rinse away the mess and left it running as he sank onto the cold tile floor, clutching his knees to his chest. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.

“Where is he?”

“In the kitchen.”

There were footsteps, and then Sam was sitting on the floor beside him.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Pietro shook his head.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“They’re gonna take her to the hospital to find out how it happened,” said Sam. “Do you want me to drive you there?”

Pietro nodded.

“Okay. Do you need a moment first?”

Pietro nodded. For some reason, he hadn’t cried yet. He just felt empty. He took a shaky breath and pushed himself up, using the counter to steady himself. Sam turned off the still-running faucet and placed a hand on Pietro’s back, gently leading him outside. 

 

***

 

Pietro had spent far too much time in hospitals lately. He and Sam sat in the waiting room in silence. He still hadn’t cried and he didn’t know why. His mother was dead. _Dead_. They’d been at the hospital about twenty minutes when Steve, Bucky, and Thor showed up and five minutes after that, Natasha and Rhodey. Pietro stood up when they arrived and Natasha immediately pulled him into a hug. That was when he finally started to cry. Natasha just held him tighter and stroked his hair like Wanda would have. Oh God, _Wanda_. She didn’t know. She would wake up only to find out her mother was dead. That is, if she even woke up at all. He had no idea how long he cried into Natasha’s shoulder before he finally managed to calm down. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, drying his eyes on his jacket sleeve.

“Don’t be,” said Natasha.

Just then, the coroner came out to the waiting room.

“Which of you is Pietro Maximoff?” he asked.

Pietro stepped forward.

“Do you know what happened?” he asked.

“I’m afraid your mother was murdered,” said the coroner. “She was strangled to death.”

Pietro felt nauseous. 

“Who did this?” Thor asked. “Who would want to kill that sweet woman?”

“We don’t know yet. I’ve called the police detective, they’re going to start investigating,” said the coroner. “Pietro, do you have any idea who might have wanted to hurt her? Did she have any enemies?”

Pietro shook his head.

“No. Everyone liked her,” he said. “I have enemies though. And it wouldn’t be the first time they’ve hurt someone else to get to me.”

“The detective will be here soon. I hope you’re ready to answer his questions,” said the coroner.

Then he left.

“Pietro... do you really think this was Hydra?” Steve asked.

“Who else would do this?” Pietro said. “Who else would want to tear my life apart?”

 


	30. Something In His Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major trigger warning for suicide attempt

“Thank you for answering my questions,” the detective said, tucking his notebook back into his coat pocket. “Now there’s another matter that you’ll have to discuss with my colleague here.”

“What matter is that?” Pietro asked.

“What’s going to become of you and your sister,” the sergeant said, taking out her own notebook. “You’re both seventeen, am I right?”

“Yes. But we’ll be eighteen in February.”

“Do you have any relations in the U.S.?”

“No.”

“What about in your home country... um... Sokovia?”

“No. All our family is dead. And technically, America _is_ our home country now,” said Pietro, slightly irritated.

“Are you U.S. citizens?” the sergeant asked, sounding surprised.

“Yes, we are. So if you were going to try sending us back, you can’t.”

“Pietro...” Bucky said in a warning tone.

“The matter still stands that you both are underage and now without any legal guardian, if only for a month. There’s also the matter of finances. You won’t be able to inherit your mother’s money until you turn eighteen,” said the sergeant. “If I’ve been informed correctly, your sister is in a coma, am I right?”

“Yes, she is.”

“This poses another problem. As I said, you have no access to your mother’s finances until you turn eighteen. You have no means of paying for your sister’s continued hospital bills.”

“What are you saying?” Pietro asked nervously.

“I’m saying that you don’t have the money for this.”

“So what, they’re just gonna let her die because some stupid law won’t let me pay to keep her alive?” said Pietro indignantly. 

“They won’t let her die. It’s not so inhumane a system as to force doctors to let patients go,” said the sergeant. “But it will put you into trouble and an awful lot of debt, trying to keep her alive when there’s still no guarantee of her recovery.”

“Are you suggesting that I _kill_ my sister? To avoid _debt_?” 

“Not _kill_ her. I’m merely saying that you’ll have to consider the possibility of letting her go.”

“She’s all I have left, ma’am,” said Pietro. “I’m not letting her die over something so trivial as money.”

“Someone’s gotta pay the hospital bills. Who’s gonna do that? Because you certainly can’t,” said the sergeant.

“I’ll be paying them,” said a voice behind them.

Everyone turned. Howard Stark had entered the waiting room, accompanied by his wife and Pepper.

“I’ll also be taking care of the boy. And the girl once she recovers,” Howard continued.

“Mr. Stark, I’m not sure –” 

“It’s what, a month, ‘til they turn eighteen? One tiny little month until they’re allowed to live wherever they want,” said Howard. “If I’ve got to file adoption papers for that one little month, I’ll do it. And I’ll be paying the girl’s hospital bills, like I said.”

“You’re going to have to talk to the hospital about that, sir, and we’ll have to have a much more formal meeting on the subject of your guardianship, but if you’re sure,” said the sergeant.

“I’m sure. Now if you’re done with all your questions, I think the kid’s been through enough today,” said Howard.

The detective and the sergeant left and Pietro went to Howard.

“Why are you helping me?” he asked. “You barely know me.”

“I hardly paid attention to my son for almost nineteen years, and now he might not make it through the week,” said Howard. “The least I can do to make it up to him is help his friends.”

 

***

 

The next day was the new year and the beginning of a new life for Pietro. The others had all insisted that it was okay for him to wait a couple days before moving out of the apartment, that he needed time, that he should let himself rest, but he didn’t want to wait. He couldn’t let himself wait. He wanted to get his life out of that hollow place as soon as possible. So they all came with him to help pack. They boxed up all of his and Wanda’s things to take to Stark Mansion, then started putting everything else into donation boxes. 

 

Going through his mother’s room was the hardest. At first he just sat on the bed, unable to bring himself to just give all her things away. Then he started putting away the inconsequential things, the trinkets and t-shirts and shoes. Then he got to the closet. His mother had never had many dresses. She didn’t have much occasion for them. There were lots of coats and sweaters though. Pietro began taking them down and tossing them into the box. Then he got to that beautiful red leather jacket. She’d always loved that jacket and hardly ever got to wear it. Pietro set it on the bed – he’d give it to Wanda. He went back to emptying the closet. When he reached the last hanger, he froze, staring at the big grey coat in his hands. This wasn’t his mother’s. She had never worn this. This was his father’s. 

 

Pietro could barely remember his father. He and Wanda were only six when he died. Yet his mother had kept his coat for over ten years, carrying it with her all the way from Sokovia. Pietro had no real memory of his father wearing this coat, only a photograph on a shelf. He hesitated a moment, then put it on, standing in front of the floor-length mirror in the corner. It was heavy and slightly big on him, falling almost to his knees. He stared at himself in the mirror, and for a moment he barely recognized himself. Instead, he saw the man from the photograph – he saw his father. Or rather, a shadow of him. Pietro looked too young and his hair was blond like his mother’s. And yet, there was something in his eyes that likened him to the man in the photograph, something that he would not have seen there had he stood in his father’s coat merely a year ago. The light there was dimmed, burnt low from pain and weariness. Pietro had often thought there was something off about the smile in his father’s photograph. Now he knew what it was, because he saw it in himself.

 

***

 

“I hope it’s okay,” Howard said, leading Pietro to his new room in Stark Mansion. “It was a guest room before, so it’s already got furniture and all that. I’ve got the room next door to it all set up for your sister when she gets better.”

He opened the door and showed Pietro inside. It was bigger than any bedroom he’d ever had, and one of the walls was made entirely of glass, giving a beautiful view of the city. Living someplace like this was going to take some getting used to.

“It’s great. Thank you,” he said.

“Really?” said Howard, as though he’d been expecting Pietro to hate it. “Good. Well, I’ll just let you get your stuff moved in. There’s a button by the door, just push it if you need anything and Jarvis will come check in on you.”

Howard left. Pietro set the box of his and Wanda’s things on the bed and went to the window. It was odd... his only impression of Howard Stark had been through Tony’s accounts, which painted him as cold and distant. Yet he seemed almost friendly and definitely eager to please. Perhaps the possibility of losing his son really had opened his eyes to what a neglectful father he’d been, and now he was trying to remedy his mistakes through Pietro. He just hoped Howard wouldn’t fall back into old habits the minute he got Tony back.

 

***

 

Mrs. Maximoff’s funeral was held a week later. It was small – just Pietro, the Avengers, and a few of her friends from work. Pietro wore his father’s coat, which he had kept after cleaning out the apartment. After the funeral, he went to the hospital to sit with Wanda. The doctors said she had been doing well, but they still had no idea if she would ever wake up. He just sat there, staring at his sister, willing her to open her eyes, and the longer he sat there, the worse he felt. He stood up very suddenly and rushed from the room, not stopping until he had reached the men’s bathroom. Then he fell to the floor and let himself break down. 

 

He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t live like this. First he’d lost Jason, then Clint, now his mother, and he’d as good as lost Wanda too. Tony and Bruce were both hanging on by a thread, and it was only a matter of time before Hydra took the rest of his friends from him. They’d been so close so many times already. And through it all, he’d gradually and ultimately lost himself. This broken shell of a boy wearing his father’s oversized coat and sobbing on a dirty bathroom floor was nothing like the Pietro Maximoff he once was. And he hated it. He hated what he’d become. Whatever had made him this way, whatever part inside of him had changed him into the mess he was now... he wanted it gone. He wanted to cut it out, rip it from his body. But he couldn’t, there was nothing he could do, no way to cure himself of the disease that was his own soul. He was trapped in his own head and in a world where everyone he loved was being plucked from him one by one. 

 

Or was he? Was he really trapped? Or was there a way he could escape this hell and eradicate this new, tortured self? Hands shaking, Pietro dug in his coat pockets until he found the knife he now carried with him always, as a precaution. He stared at it a moment before shedding the coat and rolling up his left sleeve. The skin on his wrist looked so pale and vulnerable, the thin blue veins branching up toward his hand like vines. It would be so easy, especially now that he hated the blood he was about to spill so much. He tightened his grip on the knife, willing his hand to stay steady so he could make a clean cut and get it over with. The edge of the blade had just broken skin when the bathroom door opened. Pietro looked up to find Steve staring at him, a mixture of grief and horror in his eyes. The knife slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor. 

“Oh God... oh God... I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he gasped.

Tears rolled down his face again. Would he ever stop crying? Steve came and knelt in front of him, moving the knife out of reach before taking Pietro’s wrist and inspecting the damage.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You barely drew blood.”

He reached up and yanked out a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall, then gently pressed it to the cut on Pietro’s wrist.

“I’m sorry, Steve... I’m so sorry,” Pietro said again. “I shouldn’t have... it was selfish... God, I’m so selfish...”

“How is this selfish?” Steve asked, frowning.

“Because of what it would do to you and the others and to Wanda... How could I let myself do that to any of you...”

“Pietro, listen to me. This is not selfish,” said Steve firmly. “Wanting to die isn’t selfish. From my experience, when someone wants to die so bad they’d try to do it themselves, it means things are pretty damn miserable and somebody oughta try to help.”

“What do you mean, ‘from your experience’? Have you...?” Pietro said.

“No, not me. But a few of the others have tried. Not everyone knows about all of them... but as you’ve probably noticed, most kids who end up in gangs don’t exactly have the greatest home lives.”

“Mine wasn’t too bad,” said Pietro.

“Mine neither,” said Steve. “But that’s not why you’re miserable. So tell me what’s wrong.”

“You know what’s wrong...” said Pietro quietly.

“Plenty of people have lost their mothers without trying to kill themselves. There’s gotta be more to it than that.”

Pietro sighed and looked down at his hands. Steve was still holding the paper towel to his wrist; it was bleeding a bit more than he’d expected from such a small cut.

“It’s not just her. It’s... I’m slowly losing everyone I love. One by one, Hydra keeps taking them from me.”

Pietro paused again, unsure of how to go on.

“What else is there?” Steve asked gently. “I can see in your eyes, there’s more.”

“It’s.... it’s _me_ , Steve. Everything that’s happened... it’s changed me,” Pietro said. “I know that’s supposed to happen, you can’t go through stuff like that and _not_ change, but... it’s made me into something I don’t want to be. Something I _hate_. And I don’t see a way out. _That’s_ why I want to die. It’s the only way I know to get away from who I’ve become.”

“Maybe it’s just ‘cause I’m seeing you from the outside, but I don’t think you’ve changed into anything that deserves hating,” said Steve. “You’ve been through hell, more than a lot of us. And you’re right, that changed you. But not into something bad. You’re hurting, that’s all. Wounded. You’ve been beaten and broken and lost a few pieces along the way, but you’re not irreparable. There’s still plenty more changing you can do. You just have to give yourself the chance.”

“But I don’t know how.”

“We’ll help you. No matter what else happens, you won’t go through it alone. I promise.”

 


	31. Awake

Steve took Pietro home and bandaged up his wrist, then stayed with him until he fell asleep. He had told Howard and Maria about what had happened so they could keep an eye on him, but he said telling the rest of the gang was Pietro’s choice and for now at least, Pietro chose to remain silent. He was sick of crying and he was pretty sure that seeing the others’ pained faces when he told them he’d tried to kill himself would only set him off again.

 

It was only three days later that the new semester started. Rhodey had already shipped back to MIT the day before, though he was far from happy about leaving when his best friend was still in a coma. Everyone told Pietro that no one would blame him if he didn’t go back to school right away, and the Starks were close to insistent on him staying home. But Pietro needed some sort of distraction, and school was just that, so he told them all he would be fine and that morning, Jarvis dropped him off. 

 

Word had apparently gone around of the shit storm that had become Pietro’s life over winter break, because several people stared and whispered to each other as he walked to his locker. He finished collecting his things for his first class and shut his locker door to discover Loki leaning against the locker next to his, arms folded across his chest.

“Oh, hi,” said Pietro.

“You could have called me, you know,” said Loki.

“What?”

“I found out through _gossip_. About Wanda, your mother. I got beat half to death for _not_ killing you, watched you threaten to kill a man _and_ yourself, and you never even thought to pick up the phone once after that night.”

“I was a bit preoccupied with my entire life falling apart,” said Pietro.

“I could have _helped_ you. I would have been there for you,” said Loki. “But no. I’m just your friend. Why would you call me?”

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” Pietro asked.

“I would have if you’d told me.”

“Look, I’m sorry alright,” said Pietro, trying to keep calm and failing. “But my entire life fell to pieces in less than two weeks. I’m barely holding it together as it is, the last thing I need to do is drag you into this anymore than you already have been.”

“Pietro, if this is about Hydra...”

“Yes, it’s about Hydra. All of it. Every single thing that’s gone wrong is because of them. _They killed my mother_ , just to hurt me. They already tried to use you once. I can’t let that happen again. I can’t have your blood on my hands too.”

“What, you think they’ll try to kill me?” said Loki.

“Of course I do. It’s what they _do_ , Loki,” Pietro paused a moment before continuing. “When we first met, you said you didn’t want to get mixed up in this war between the Avengers and Hydra. You can still walk away from this, but not with me around. I’ll just keep pulling you back into danger, whether I mean to or not. So this is the end, Loki. For your sake.”

Loki stared at him, perplexed.

“What do you mean?” he said.

“I’m sorry.”

Then Pietro turned and walked right back out of the school.

 

He didn’t stop walking until he reached the hospital and returned to his usual post beside Wanda’s bed. He had expected to cry – he’d been crying so much lately – but no tears came. He’d known ever since the night of the explosion that he would have to do this, that he’d have to turn Loki away. Hydra had gotten to Loki and cutting him off was the only way to keep them away from him, to keep him safe. That was why he hadn’t called. He’d wanted to. But he knew he couldn’t. Not if he wanted to keep Loki alive. But even though he’d been preparing for this moment for nearly two weeks, it had been hard. Pietro sighed and leaned back in his chair, watching Wanda as he had every day since the explosion. Then something happened so quickly and subtly he was sure he’d imagined it: she moved. Pietro froze, staring, waiting for some sign that it wasn’t just a trick of the light. Slowly, Wanda opened her eyes. Pietro’s breath hitched in his chest and he flew to the edge of his seat, scooping up her hand in his. 

“Pietro?” Wanda whispered weakly.

“I’m here,” said Pietro, a giddy, relieved smile spreading across his face. “I’m here. You’re okay. Thank God, you’re okay.”

“What happened?” Wanda asked.

“There was an explosion. We weren’t sure you’d make it...”

“Tony and Bruce... did they...?”

“They’re still unconscious.”

“How long have I been out?” 

“About two weeks,” said Pietro.

Wanda looked alarmed.

“Two weeks?” she repeated. 

“Yeah... longest two weeks of my life...”

“Are you okay?” Wanda asked. “You look awful.”

“Oh thanks,” said Pietro in a weak attempt at sarcasm.

“I’m being serious.”

“I know.” Pietro sighed. Now wasn’t the time to unburden himself to her. “I’m better now.”

Wanda smiled a little, then glanced around the hospital room.

“Where’s Mom? Is she at work?” she asked.

Pietro’s smile faltered. He’d been dreading this moment.

“Wanda... Mom’s dead,” he said quietly.

It was a long time before Wanda said anything. She just stared at him.

“How? When?” she said at last.

“Last week. Someone killed her.”

“Who?”

“We don’t know yet.”

“....Did I miss the funeral?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

Wanda bit her lip as a tear rolled down her cheek. Pietro reached out and gently wiped it away. 

“I should probably get the nurse,” he said. “They’ll need to check up on you now that you’re awake.”

Wanda nodded. Pietro gave her hand a squeeze and stood up, kissing her forehead before leaving the room.

 


	32. No Luck For The Third

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a trigger warning, but painful bad shit happens again. just so you know.

The doctors had said that if all went well, Wanda would be let out of the hospital by the end of the week. Pietro went home to Stark Mansion that night feeling happier than he thought possible. He had his sister back, she was alive, and she was going to come home. Everything was going to be okay. He was sitting on the floor of his room, staring out the window at the city lights, when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID – it was Thor. Odd. Thor didn’t usually call him. He accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi Pietro, it’s me. I heard about Wanda,” said Thor. “I’m glad she’s going to be alright.”

“Yeah, they said she should be coming home this week,” said Pietro, beaming. 

“Have you told her yet?”

“Yeah... she’s pretty upset...”

“I’d imagine. Hell of a thing to come back to,” said Thor. 

“So what’s up? You don’t usually call me. Most of the time you just text. Is everything okay?”

“I was hoping you could tell me,” said Thor. “Loki called me today during school. He _never_ calls me. He seemed upset, he said you dumped him or something.”

“Oh God...” Pietro groaned. “I got so distracted with Wanda, I nearly forgot...”

“What happened?”

“I didn’t _dump_ him... I... I was trying to protect him. Hydra already tried to use him because of me, and I didn’t want it to get any worse.”

“How did Hydra even know about the two of you?” Thor asked.

“They, uh... well, a couple of them caught us in the school bathroom once...” said Pietro. 

“So that’s why they blackmailed Loki into trying to kill you?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“And so you just cut him off?”

“It was for his own safety, Thor. You _know_ how brutal Hydra is, what they’ll do just to hurt any one of us. If I didn’t leave him, they’d use him again, or worse. I won’t let another person I care about die because of me.”

Thor sighed.

“He’d hate me for saying this,” he said. “But Pietro... I think he may have loved you.”

Pietro nearly dropped the phone. 

“No... he couldn’t have... we were friends, we just... all of that... it was just for fun, just a fling.... it was just a one-time thing...”

“Again with the ‘one-time thing’ excuse. And how many times did you have sex with him exactly?”

“Look, that’s not the point,” said Pietro. “He _can’t_ have been in love with me. This is Loki we’re talking about. If he was, he would have just said it.”

“Considering your reaction just now, I can see why he wouldn’t just say it,” said Thor. “I know my brother better than anyone. He’d never admit it, but I do. And I know what it looks like when he’s heartbroken.”

“Thor... you’ve got to understand... I didn’t want to hurt him. I just want to protect him,” said Pietro desperately.

“I _do_ understand,” Thor said. “I want to protect him too. He’s my little brother, after all. If you feel the only way to keep him safe from Hydra is to break it off with him, then I won’t stop you. But I think you should at least give him a proper explanation as to why. You owe him that.”

Pietro sighed.

“You’re right,” he said wearily. “I was a dick, I tried to explain myself, but... I’ve sort of been handling everything like shit lately.... you’re right, Thor. I owe him an explanation. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize to me, I’m just trying to play mediator for my brother. Again.”

“You play mediator for him often?”

“Don’t even get me started...”

“I should probably call him, then.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks. See you tomorrow.”

Pietro hung up. He stared at the phone in his hands for a moment, working out what he would say, before dialing Loki’s number. It rang a few times, then went to voicemail. Pietro frowned and waited a minute before trying again. Voicemail. He knew Loki couldn’t possibly be in bed already, it was only ten and Loki was a night owl. He tried again. Voicemail. Again. Voicemail. Finally, he decided to leave a message. He tried one more time, and it went to voicemail again, but this time he waited.

“Hi, Loki, it’s me,” he said. “Look, I get that you don’t want to talk to me. That’s fine. I understand. I was a real bastard this morning, and I’m sorry for that. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t call you after that night. I was a mess. But I knew after what happened with Hydra that I couldn’t let you get dragged into this another time. I meant everything I said earlier, I just should have said it better. I should have explained myself. That’s why I’m calling you. To apologize for hurting you and to give you the explanation you deserve. You mean a lot to me, Loki, and I know I mean a lot to you, more than I realized. And Hydra will use that as a weapon against me if we keep this up. They’ve killed and hurt people that I love before, and they’ll do it again. I just don’t want you to be added to that list. You’re the only person who it’s in my power to keep safe. So let me protect you in the only way I know how. I’m sorry, Loki.”

Pietro lowered the phone and pressed the end button. There was no way that message could have broken Loki’s heart any less than what he’d said before, but at least he had tried to apologize, to explain himself. He rested his forehead against the cold glass window and closed his eyes. It had been a very long day.

 

***

 

Pietro woke up the next morning sprawled out on his bedroom floor. He had fallen asleep fully dressed with his phone still in his hand and his face pressed against the window. He rolled onto his back and looked at his phone. Nothing. He had hoped Loki would call him back or at least text him, but he supposed it was for the best that he hadn’t. Wincing slightly at the crick in his neck from sleeping in such a strange position, he got to his feet. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“It’s open,” he called.

The door swung open and Howard stepped in, looking breathless.

“I’ve just had a call from the hospital,” he said.

“Is everything okay?” Pietro asked.

“More than okay. Tony’s awake!”

 

***

 

Pietro ended up getting detention for skipping school two days in a row, but he didn’t care. Wanda and Tony were going to be alright. There was still no news on Bruce yet, but for the first time in a while, he had hope. The end of the week arrived and Pietro and Pepper went with the Starks to the hospital to pick up Wanda and Tony. Pietro kept his arm around his sister’s shoulders while they waited for Howard to finish filling out the paperwork.

“It’s gonna take me a while to get used to this whole deaf-in-one-ear thing,” Tony said.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’ll milk it for all it’s worth,” Pietro teased.

“What’s that, little bro? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you,” said Tony.

“Oh ha ha,” Pietro said sarcastically. “I’m not your brother.”

“Aren’t you? I thought we adopted you.”

“I’m living in your house.”

“Same thing,” Tony shrugged.

Pietro rolled his eyes and Wanda laughed. 

“You might as well be brothers with all your bickering,” she said.

“Oh no,” said Pietro, mockingly dramatic. “Does this mean I have to be nice to him?”

“Yes, it does,” said Tony. 

“You two are ridiculous,” said Pepper.

Howard finally finished with the paperwork and turned to usher them out to the car, when a nurse approached, looking grim.

“Mr. Stark,” she said. “I have bad news.”

“What is it?” Howard asked.

“It’s Bruce Banner,” the nurse replied. “He’s dead.”


	33. Always Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mention of attempted suicide

Bruce’s father didn’t come to the funeral, which everyone was rather relieved about. It was hard enough having to bury their friend without having to deal with his asshole dad on top of it. So it was just the Avengers and Tony’s parents who stood in the snowy cemetery as Bruce’s coffin was lowered into the ground.

 

After the funeral, Pietro took Wanda to their mother’s grave.

“Do you want a moment?” he asked her.

“Yes please,” Wanda replied.

Pietro gave her hand a squeeze and wandered off. He walked between the rows of headstones until he finally stopped in front of Clint’s. He knelt down, paying no mind to the wet snow seeping through the knees of his pants. He brushed the frost away from Clint’s name, his fingers lingering over the date below. It had been almost a year. 

“You were the best thing to ever happen to me,” he said quietly. “I’ve been through hell because I met you, but I wouldn’t trade any of it, no matter how much it hurts.”

Pietro hesitated. He knew Clint couldn’t hear him, that he was speaking to nothing more than a slab of rock. But still he had to say it. He had to tell Clint the one thing no one on earth knew, that no one would ever, could ever know.

“I lied, you know, during the trial,” he said at last. “There was one question I just couldn’t answer, so I lied.”

He took a deep breath, swallowing back the lump in his throat.

“I loved you,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize it until you were dying in my arms, and then it was too late. But I did love you. I _do_ love you. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I don’t know how to get over you. I don’t think I want to. If I did... I don’t think I’d recognize myself anymore without loving you. So.... there you go. That’s the truth. My deepest, darkest secret. I love you, Clint Barton. And I always will.”

Pietro rested his forehead against the cold gravestone and closed his eyes, letting his hot tears fall onto the snow. After a while, he sat back on his heels and dried his eyes with his sleeve. Then he kissed his fingertips and pressed them to Clint’s name, tenderly tracing the “C”.

 

***

 

Wanda stood with Steve, Bucky, and Tony near the edge of the cemetery, watching the silhouette of Pietro kneeling in front of Clint’s grave.

“Hydra’s worn him down to a thread that’s ready to snap,” Bucky sighed. “You’re gonna need to look out for him, Wanda.”

“More than you realize,” said Steve. “That thread’s already snapped.”

Wanda looked at him.

“What do you mean?” she said.

Steve glanced around them, then back over at where Pietro still sat.

“This is gonna have to stay between the four of us. He’d be furious if he knew I said anything, but Bucky’s right, he needs people to look after him right now,” he said.

“Steve, what happened?” Wanda asked nervously.

“Pietro tried to kill himself,” said Steve quietly. “The day of your mom’s funeral.”

Wanda felt like she’d been caught in another explosion, one that ripped her heart from her chest.

“Shit...” Tony muttered.

“What do you mean, ‘tried’? Like, _said_ he was gonna, or actually, literally on the verge of...?” Bucky said, his voice a bit shaky.

“I mean I walked in on him with knife in hand,” Steve said grimly. “I don’t know if he’ll try again, especially now that you’re back, Wanda. But this kind of thing pays no heed to the stuff that might make you want to keep on living. So we’ve gotta look after him. Especially you two,” he looked at Wanda and Tony. “You’re all living in the same house now. You can keep a better eye on him than the rest of us can.”

“How can we help him?” Wanda asked, blinking back tears.

“Well, don’t baby him, I don’t think he’d appreciate that. But make sure he knows he’s loved. That he’s _worth_ saving.”

 

***

 

The ensuing weeks were far from easy. Nobody was handling Bruce’s death well, and it was a bit surprising that Tony’s parents even let him go back to MIT considering how bad he was taking it. But he went back with Rhodey and Pietro and Wanda went back to Shield High, and the rest of the freezing New York winter dragged on. 

 

March arrived, and with it came the day Pietro had been dreading for weeks. The anniversary of Clint’s death. It was spring break, which meant Tony and Rhodey were home for the week, and Pietro didn’t have to worry about surviving a day of school when he felt like dying. So when the day arrived, he stole an entire bottle of vodka from Howard’s stash, took it up to his room, and lay on his bed getting horribly drunk. Drinking straight vodka was awful, but it did the job. It was late afternoon and everything was feeling rather fuzzy around the edges when someone knocked on the door. Pietro sighed irritably and rolled onto his side.

“What?” he called.

The door opened. It was Tony.

“Oh Christ,” he said the moment he saw Pietro.

“What?” Pietro muttered, taking another swig of vodka and grimacing at the taste.

“You’re a goddamn mess, kid,” said Tony.

He shut the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bed.

“I think you’ve had enough of that,” he said, taking the bottle from Pietro and setting it on the floor.

“Oh come on, Tony, just let me get drunk...” Pietro pouted.

“You _are_ drunk. If you drink anymore, you’ll be puking it back up ‘til this time tomorrow.”

Pietro scowled and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

“It’s been a year,” he said quietly. “One year today since my life became hell on earth.”

“I know, kid,” Tony sighed. “I miss him too.”

“It’s more than that. More than just missing him. It’s _hell_. It’s...”

Pietro clammed up. He knew if he didn’t stop himself now, he’d say too much. He was too drunk to keep himself under control.

“I can’t stop thinking about how it should have been me. It was supposed to be me,” he continued. “Every day, I think about that. I wish it had been me...”

“Pietro...” 

“I do, though. If I could switch places with him, I would have done it a million times. God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to do that...”

Pietro rolled onto his side, turning his back to Tony. Not that he cared about hiding his tears. Tony had seen plenty of those. 

“I know what you tried to do, you know,” Tony said quietly after several minutes of silence. “Steve told me. He wouldn’t like that I’m saying this, but... I understand more than you think.”

Pietro rolled back over to look at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“He told you?” he said. “About... after my mom’s funeral?”

“Yeah...”

“He shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know. But he just wants to help you. And he figured that I could keep an eye on you. That I could help.”

“How can you help me?” Pietro said bitterly, turning his back on Tony again.

“Because I know what it’s like,” said Tony. “Trying to die.”

Pietro blinked, his alcohol-soaked brain taking a moment to process Tony’s words. Finally, he turned to face Tony again.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I was fifteen,” Tony said, avoiding Pietro’s eyes. “I bought a whole bunch of cocaine and blew it ‘til I O.D.ed. It was mostly a cry for help, trying to get my dad’s attention. Which I did, through him being thoroughly pissed off. But if I had died because of it, I wouldn’t have cared. So I get it. Not for the same reasons, sure, but I know what it’s like to be at that point. And I know how hard it is to come back from it. But it _is_ possible.”

“Really?” 

“I’m the living proof, aren’t I? You won’t be doing it alone, Pietro. You don’t have to go through any of this alone.”

“I know,” said Pietro. “I know you’re all here for me. But I still _feel_ alone.”

“Well, I guess we found step two,” said Tony.

“Wait, what’s step one?”

“Making sure you don’t have the world’s worst hangover tomorrow. Have you had any water?”

“....No....”

“Okay. Step one’s already gonna be a challenge.”

 


	34. Under Fire

Tony Stark probably wouldn’t have been at the top of anyone’s list of people to help someone through depression, but what he lacked in expertise he more than made up for in dedication. It was clear that he wanted nothing more than for Pietro feel to better. Or at least less horrible. He wasn’t an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but he always seemed to have several ideas thought out whenever anything came up, which led Pietro to suspect that this wasn’t the first time Tony had done this for someone. So while he was sometimes brash and his biggest tactic tended to be trying to cheer him up, Pietro couldn’t deny that having Tony helping him through this did make him feel a little less alone. It got harder of course after spring break was over and Tony had to return to MIT, but he called Pietro every night to check up on him and make sure everything was okay. 

 

This was how the last few months of high school passed for Pietro – recovering. Or attempting to, at least. It was far from easy and his progress definitely came in baby steps, but by graduation, he could go weeks at a time without seriously considering throwing himself off Brooklyn Bridge. It was an odd thing to consider an accomplishment, but when he looked back at how he’d felt just a few months earlier, it was clearly progress.

 

***

 

About a week after graduation, Tony announced that his dad was letting them spend a weekend at his cabin upstate. 

“He said it’s a graduation present for Wanda and Pietro, but I also got the vibe that he thinks we need a vacation,” said Tony.

“Yeah, ‘cause our last vacation went so well,” said Sam sarcastically.

“Well, he said he’d take us up there himself. In a helicopter. So unless Hydra’s got some crazy new hijacking skills, I think we’re okay,” Tony said. “I guess he doesn’t want a repeat of last year either.”

“He has a helicopter?” said Wanda incredulously.

“Yup. Why are you even surprised by this, you live here.”

“Five different kinds of coffee makers is one thing. A helicopter, though? That’s a bit crazy, no matter how rich your father is.”

 

***

 

Two weeks later, Howard had dropped them all off at the cabin and told them to have a good time and not burn the place down. It was a beautiful place and much smaller than Pietro had expected, nestled in a meadow surrounded by trees. They spent the weekend exploring the woods and swimming in the river all day, then playing cards in front of the fireplace once the sun went down. It was by far the most contented Pietro had been in months, and everyone generally seemed to be much more relaxed than they had been since Bruce’s death.

 

Evening had fallen on their final evening and they were all lounging around in the tiny living room after clearing up the dinner dishes. It was quiet except for the rustling of leaves from a slight breeze that was drifting through the open window. Suddenly, Steve sat bolt upright, a frown on his face.

“Something’s not right,” he said.

“Is there a disturbance in the force, young Skywalker?” Tony teased from where he lay on the floor.

Steve gave him a withering glare.

“No, he’s right...” said Wanda. “There’s something... I smell...”

“Smoke,” Steve finished.

“Maybe your boyfriend forgot to turn off the stove,” Tony suggested.

“I did turn it off! I checked like three times,” said Bucky defensively.

“Well, maybe you should check a fourth.”

Bucky scowled and shuffled into the kitchen.

“See? I _knew_ I turned it off,” he shouted back. “I _told_ you I – oh shit!”

He bolted back into the room, pursued by a trail of smoke.

“The whole kitchen’s on fire!” he announced.

No sooner had he said this than the entire roof of the cabin went up in flames. It quickly began spreading down the walls and would soon trap them in an inferno. 

“We’ve gotta get out, now!” said Natasha urgently.

Everyone began to hurry for the exit, but the fire was spreading impossibly fast. By now, it had moved to the floors and the furniture. Pietro leapt over the back of the sofa, but stumbled in his hurry and crashed to the ground. He went to push himself back up and froze. Standing among the flames, staring back at him, was Clint. But no, it couldn’t be. Pietro blinked. He was still there, fire leaping up around him but entirely unharmed.

“Clint?” he said, staring up at the figure.

There was no response. Blood began to spread across Clint’s chest and he lifted his hand, reaching out for Pietro. 

“No!” Pietro gasped.

He reached out to take Clint’s hand, all thought of the fire chased from his mind in his desperation to reach Clint.

“Pietro! _Pietro!_ Jesus Christ...”

Suddenly, Rhodey had grabbed his outstretched hand and dragged him to his feet. They burst through the collapsing doorway and staggered out into the cold night air where the rest of the Avengers had gathered.

“No! Clint! I have to go back!” Pietro cried.

He made a dash for the burning cabin, only to be held back by several pairs of arms. He struggled, eyes fixed on the window where he could still see Clint staring out at him.

“Pietro, stop! What the hell are you talking about?” Sam said.

“Clint was in there, I saw him. I have to save him!” said Pietro desperately.

“How could Clint have been in there? He’s dead, he’s been dead for a year, you _saw_ him die,” said Bucky.

“I don’t know, but I saw him. It was him, and he’s gonna die again, I can’t let him die again,” said Pietro.

Wanda came around in front of him and took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

“Pietro, I don’t know what you saw in there, but it wasn’t Clint.”

“Oh God... I’m hallucinating, aren’t I?” said Pietro, suddenly panicked. “I’m going crazy...”

“You’re not going crazy,” Wanda said. “It was probably just a trick of the flames.”

“But why would it look like him?” Pietro asked. “He was looking right at me, he was reaching for me. There was blood all over his chest...”

Wanda stared at him, looking worried and more than a little scared.

“Wanda, please. You have to believe me,” Pietro begged. “It was him. I saw Clint. I don’t know why or how, but I did.”

“I believe you,” said Wanda, though it looked like it pained her to say it. “It scares me, but I do.”

Pietro finally relaxed and the others stopped holding him back. They all stared wearily at the smoldering remains of the cabin.

“What do we do now?” said Sam.

“Call the fire department, I suppose,” said Tony, pulling his phone from his pocket. “And my dad. God, he’s gonna kill me...”

“Do you think it was Hydra again?” Pepper asked.

“Most likely,” Bucky sighed.

They all sat down in the grass while Tony made the phone calls. Pietro plucked a blade of grass and began fidgeting with it absentmindedly, twisting it between his fingers and tying it in knots. He couldn’t get that image out of his head, Clint standing there among the flames and reaching for him with blood pouring from his heart. He had a feeling it would haunt him forever, just as the image of Clint lying dead in his arms haunted him, both awake and in dreams. It made him feel sick. Three months of trying to get better, only to be brought to a screeching halt by _this_. He didn’t understand. Why had he seen Clint in the fire? The only explanation was that it had been a hallucination, but that scared Pietro more than almost anything Hydra could concoct. Wasn’t he fucked up in the head enough as it was without adding _that_ to the list?

 


	35. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major trigger warning for use of date-rape drugs, sexual assault, and attempted rape

Nearly a week had gone by since the cabin fire, and Pietro and Wanda were walking home from Sam’s house. He had offered to drive them, but it was a beautiful day and Wanda had insisted that a walk in the fresh air and sunshine would do Pietro good. They reached the crosswalk across from Stark Mansion, and Pietro stepped into the road, not really bothering to look. He hadn’t gone far when he froze, eyes wide. Standing on the opposite sidewalk, blood covering his chest, was Clint. _Oh no_. It was happening again. 

“Pietro, look out!” Wanda screamed, snapping him violently back to reality.

He whipped around just in time to see a car speeding toward him, brakes screeching and horn blaring. There was no time for him to move. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact, but there was none. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The car had managed to stop mere centimeters before hitting him. 

“Watch yourself, kid!” the driver shouted out his open window.

Pietro scurried back to where Wanda stood on the sidewalk. She was about ten times more panicked than him, and he was the one who’d just nearly gotten hit by a car. 

“What were you doing? You scared me half to death!” Wanda scolded, practically in tears.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” said Pietro, pulling her into his arms.

She buried her face in his chest. He glanced back over at the other side of the street. Clint was gone.

 

***

 

The first time it had been in the cabin fire, caught in a blazing inferno that could engulf him at any moment. The second time, mere seconds before he was nearly flattened by a speeding car. There was a pattern. Pietro didn’t care about any sayings that would tell him twice was only a coincidence. People don’t usually hallucinate their dead best friends when in near-death scenarios. He knew that for a fact, because he’d been in plenty of those situations before. So twice was enough to cause him to suspect. And testing his theory was easy enough.

 

Perhaps sticking a fork in an outlet wasn’t his brightest idea. But it did what it was supposed to do – it proved his theory. Clint had appeared, and a second later, a bolt of electricity shot up his arm. Luckily he had dropped the fork the moment he’d been shocked, so the only consequences were a half hour of jitteriness and slightly frazzled hair. 

 

And now he knew. Even though the thought that he was having hallucinations scared him, there was a part of him that welcomed it, and that part of him quickly won out. Pietro missed Clint so much, longed so much to see him for even a moment, that he was willing to do the craziest, stupidest things for those brief seconds in his presence. And if he went a little too far and did get himself killed in the process? Well, he hadn’t been much bothered by the possibility of his death for a while. Seeing Clint was worth that risk.

 

So began what Pietro would probably look back on as the most idiotic period of his life, if he survived it. First, he tried to walk across a five lane highway. He made it about a lane and a half before Rhodey dragged him back to safety. But he’d seen Clint, waiting for him on the other side. Next he tried to climb to the top of the tallest tree in Central Park. He nearly fell about halfway up and would have gotten arrested if Natasha and Tony hadn’t shown up and talked the cop’s ears off until he gave up and let Pietro go. But he’d seen Clint again.

“What the hell was that all about?” Natasha had asked once the cop was out of earshot.

“Just wanted to see if I could do it,” Pietro had answered with a shrug.

Then he stole and nearly crashed Steve’s motorcycle (that got him in even more trouble than the tree climbing). Then he tried to skateboard down the biggest hill in the neighborhood (he couldn’t even skateboard to begin with, so the hill was just an extra touch). 

“Hey Sam, do you dare me to try and balance on the railing?” Pietro said one evening as the Avengers all relaxed on Tony’s balcony.

“Um, no?” said Sam.

“Spoil sport. I’m doing it anyway.”

“What? No!”

It was probably a good thing they all stopped him before he got a chance to try. But still, it was the first time one of his schemes had failed and that frustrated him. Maybe his daredevil stunts were getting a little over the top. There were other forms of danger, other ways he could see Clint. It was time to start trying them out.

 

Being in a gang meant Pietro knew all the worst places around, even if he never went to them. Which meant he knew about the one bar in town that didn’t check I.D.s. It was in the worst part of the city, the last place he’d normally want to go, but since danger was what he wanted, that made it exactly where he wanted to be. 

He stepped inside and was immediately bombarded with the smell of beer, smoke, and sweat. He hesitated a moment on the threshold, but pushed his misgivings aside, went up to the counter, and ordered three vodka shots with all the confidence he could muster. The barkeeper slid his order to him and Pietro handed him the cash before tossing them back, one, two, three in a row. The back of his throat burned and he forced himself not to grimace at the taste of the obviously cheap vodka. As he squinted up at the rows of bottles, giving the alcohol a moment to take effect before picking his next poison, a man and a woman, probably in their late twenties, joined him at the bar.

“Hey kid,” said the woman jovially. “You’re an awfully pretty young thing to be in a seedy joint like this.”

“Yeah, well...” Pietro muttered noncommittally. 

He glanced over his shoulder, briefly scanning the bar for some sign of Clint; apparently he wasn’t living dangerously enough for him yet.

“You waiting for someone?” the woman asked.

“You could say that,” Pietro replied.

“Say, why don’t you let us buy you a drink while you wait for them to show up,” she offered.

Pietro looked at her for a moment. She and her boyfriend didn’t look particularly threatening, but he knew accepting a drink from strangers in a place like this wasn’t exactly a smart move. Hell, what was he thinking? He wanted to see Clint, didn’t he? And he wasn’t going to manage that by making smart moves.

“Sure, why not,” he said, flashing a little smile.

“Great!” the woman said cheerfully.

She hailed the barkeeper and ordered drinks for him, herself, and her boyfriend. Pietro glanced around the place again while he waited, wondering just how drunk he’d have to get before Clint showed. When he turned back around, the woman was pushing his drink toward him.

“Thanks,” he said.

He picked up the glass and took a sip. He had no idea what she’d ordered him, but it clearly had a lot of alcohol in it because it tasted awful. Well, more alcohol meant he’d get drunk faster. He tipped it back and took a long drink. He set his glass down on the counter and almost immediately knew something was wrong. He had been drunk before, more than once, and it had _never_ felt like this. The room was spinning and the edges of his vision were fuzzy. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to chase off the pounding in his head. When he opened them, Clint was standing on the other side of the bar counter, staring at him, closer than he’d ever been. Close enough to touch. Driven by some uncontrollable impulse, Pietro raised his arm and reached out to touch Clint’s face, but his hand fell through thin air and the hallucination vanished. The next thing he knew, he was being led away from the counter. He wasn’t quite sure how he got there, but suddenly he was outside in the alley behind the bar with the man and woman who had bought him his drink, kneeling on the ground. 

“What’s happening?” he asked, but his voice sounded distant, like it didn’t belong to him.

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about it,” the woman murmured in his ear, kneeling behind him.

An unpleasant chill went up Pietro’s spine. He wanted to run away, but he couldn’t figure out how to move his limbs. He felt the woman’s hand on his right shoulder, holding him upright and steady, while her left hand slithered over his hip and down the front of his pants. He tried to struggle, but he didn’t seem capable of that either. 

“Just relax,” the woman hissed.

Suddenly, the man was standing in front of him and had begun unbuckled his belt. Pietro whimpered and made another attempt to get away, but the woman’s right hand moved from his shoulder to grip a fistful of his hair, forcing him to hold his head still, while her left hand continued to massage his cock. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clint, standing and watching, powerless to save him. Pietro was trapped, helpless; his only defense was to clamp his mouth shut as tight as he could. 

“Come on, baby, open up,” the woman coaxed.

Pietro shook his head, his eyes wide with fear as the man took another step toward him.

“Hey!”

Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Natasha were running down the alley toward them.

“Drop him!” Steve ordered.

Neither of them obeyed. Natasha lunged forward and dragged the woman away from Pietro, while all three boys took on the man. Pietro collapsed to his hands and knees, trembling, his head still spinning disorientingly. There was a resounding snap behind him followed by a scream, and he suspected that Natasha had just broken the woman’s wrist. The next thing he was aware of, Steve and Bucky had pulled him to his feet.

“We’ve gotta get him home,” Bucky said urgently.

Then Pietro blacked out.


	36. Secret's Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for mention of attempted rape

Pietro woke up at home in his bed. He was lying on his side, propped up with pillows, presumably to keep him from asphyxiating if he vomited in his sleep. His head felt like it had been beaten repeatedly and he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened or how he had gotten home. Slowly, he sat up and glanced around. Wanda was sitting on the edge of his bed and the other Avengers were scattered around the room, clearly all waiting for him to wake up.

“How do you feel?” Wanda asked gently.

“Like shit,” Pietro replied. “How long was I asleep?”  
“About two hours,” Sam replied, coming to stand at the foot of the bed. “Jesus, it’s a good thing we found you when we did.”

Pietro frowned, trying to remember. _Beer, smoke, sweat. His throat burning. A hand pulling roughly at his hair._

“Why were you even at that place to begin with?” Wanda asked.

The bar. Oh God, the bar. And suddenly the memories flooded back and as they did, Pietro realized what had happened. They had _drugged_ him, they must have slipped something in his drink when he wasn’t looking... and as everything returned to him full-force, so did the memory of what had happened in the alley, the man looming over him, softly coaxing words breathed into his ear, the ghost of a hand lingering...

“Pietro?” said Wanda, sounding concerned.

She reached her hand out toward him and and he recoiled, curling his knees up to his chest.

“Don’t touch me,” he said, harsher than he meant to; he immediately felt guilty for it. “Sorry...”

Wanda lowered her hand sadly. She clearly wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but Pietro couldn’t let her. Not in that way. Not now.

“How did you find me?” he asked, trying to diffuse some of the tension.

“We knew you were probably off doing something reckless again, so we went to the places we thought you’d be most likely to go,” said Bucky. “Which leads us back to Wanda’s question. Why the hell were you at that shit hole?”

“You already answered that question. I was doing something reckless again,” Pietro said bitterly.

“Yeah, and we still don’t know why you’ve had this sudden upswing in death-defying idiocy,” said Tony. “You were doing so good for a while there. What the hell happened?”

“The cabin fire. That’s what happened. And almost getting hit by a car after that,” said Pietro. 

“What?”

“I saw Clint in the fire. And then I saw him again, right before I saw the car. I see him every time I’m in danger.”

“So that’s why you tried to walk across a highway? And all that other shit?” said Rhodey in disbelief.

“You purposely risked your life so you could see Clint again?” said Steve. “We have photographs, you know. You don’t have to try and get yourself killed to see him.”

“It’s not the same,” said Pietro. “The hallucinations... it’s like he’s _there_. He’s next to me, he can _see_ me. Photographs are just ink and paper. Just another reminder that he’s gone.”

“That’s just it, Pietro. He _is_ gone,” said Steve. “I get that it’s hard for you, that it hurts. You watched him die, you feel guilty, I know that. But you can’t keep grieving him forever. You’ve gotta let him go.”

“I can’t do that,” Pietro said desperately.

“Why not?”

“Because I love him!”

He hadn’t meant to say it. It had just fallen from his lips, no hesitation, no thought. The room had fallen into absolute silence, everyone staring at him in shock.

“There. I said it,” he said at last. “Now you know. My deepest, darkest secret. The one thing that no one on this earth knew except me.”

He looked down, glaring bitterly at his trembling hands for betraying everything he was feeling.

“I knew,” said Natasha; she sounded almost confused. “I always knew, I just didn’t realize what it was until now. There was something in the way you looked at him... I noticed it sometimes, a little light in your eyes that would only shine when you were looking at Clint...”

She trailed off and Pietro looked at her. There were tears in her eyes, but he couldn’t tell if they were for Clint or for him. 

“I still love him too, you know,” she continued. “I probably will until the day I die. But Steve is right. You can’t grieve forever. You have to move on.”

“I don’t know how,” said Pietro. “I don’t even know who I am anymore without this. Loving Clint is the only good thing I know I have left in me. If I take that away, what have I got? There’s no good left.”

“I never said you had to stop loving him,” said Natasha. “And as for the good you’ve got left, there’s a lot more than you think. You’ve been trapped in your own head for too long, Pietro. Look around you. You’ve got us. Your sister. Isn’t that enough good for you?”

“I’m sorry,” said Pietro quietly. “You’re right, I _have_ been stuck in my own head too long. The trouble is, I don’t know how to get out. Not without help.”

“Then we’ll help.”

“You know, you’re taking this very well, considering it’s your boyfriend I just confessed my undying love for,” Pietro said with a feeble attempt at a smile.

“I guess you could say it’s because... I can relate,” said Natasha. “You saw something in Clint that made you love him. So did I.”

 

***

 

The next morning, Pietro sat on the curb outside Stark Mansion, watching cars go by. He’s been sitting there for a while when Steve came and sat beside him, deliberately leaving several inches of space between them; apparently he remembered Pietro’s outburst from last night. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes after he sat down. Then finally, Steve turned to look at him.

“I thought you should know... I reported that couple to the cops,” he said. “Apparently you weren’t their only victim. The cops have been trying to catch them for a while. I guess they’vebeen lurking around that bar, preying on underage patrons....”

“Thanks,” said Pietro. 

“I’m sorry about how we all acted last night,” Steve said. “None of us handled that very well. At all. Harassing you for being at that place, practically ignoring what you’d just gone through...”

“It’s fine,” Pietro said quickly. “You were upset, you just wanted answers.”

“But what we should have been focused on was helping you. You’d just been drugged and molested. And we just ignored all that. You needed us to help you through that and instead we decided to lecture you. There’s nothing fine about that. We’re your friends. We should have supported you.”

“Yeah, you should have. But I’m gonna forgive you because you’re right, I _do_ need help,” said Pietro. “I’m exhausted, Steve. I’m miserable. And I’m tired of trying to cope by myself.”

 


	37. Goodbye, Ex-Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for suicide and description of gore

The first step was to recover from the incident at the bar. It was obvious from the moment Pietro woke up in bed after it happened that this wouldn’t be an easy task. The idea of being touched, even by someone he loved and trusted, made his skin crawl. And then there were the nightmares. After a few days of this misery, he decided that perhaps actively trying to get over it was only exacerbating the problem. 

So instead, he started distracting himself, trying to go on with his life as normally as possible. He started joining Steve and Sam on their morning runs. He’d sit and watch Tony tinker with whatever invention he was working on (Pietro thought it might be a robot, but he honestly couldn’t tell). He got Bucky to show him more _Game of Thrones_. Anything to keep him from dwelling on what had happened. If he was going to learn to live with it, then the best way to do that was to start living.

Moving on from his grief for Clint was a whole different story. He _had_ been living with that, for over a year now. He’d tried to distract himself from it with Loki, which had ended in disaster (though admittedly, that disaster was self-inflicted). He knew Natasha was right, that he had to let go of his grief, but it had become such a part of him by now that he really wasn’t sure how to do it. And this sort of thing didn’t come with a manual. It wasn’t something you could be coached through. It was different for everyone, so asking for advice only helped so much. So distraction was Pietro’s tactic for this too; dwelling on things seemed to be his problem, and keeping himself busy was a surefire way to stop his mind from wandering to more painful thoughts.

 

***

 

It was mid-July and the summer heat made the smoggy city air thick and heavy. The Avengers constantly found themselves drifting from one air-conditioned place to another in an attempt to escape the heat. Nighttime hardly brought much relief; the constant haze of exhaust fumes trapped the warmth from the sun even after it had set. Still, at least at night they wouldn’t have the relentless sun beating down on their backs and they could spend a little time outside.

 

It was on one of these muggy nights that the Avengers were walking down a deserted side street after going to see some crappy action movie that they’d all forget the name of in a week. Pietro was finally getting better about being touched and was walking arm in arm with Wanda as they all laughed and made fun of the cheesy acting in the movie. Tony and Thor were reenacting a particularly melodramatic scene, complete with finger guns and (very fake) accents.

They turned a corner into an alley that would give them a shortcut to Steve’s house. Steve and Bucky both stopped in their tracks; Tony was still joking around with Thor, not paying attention, and walked right into them.

“What the hell, guys, a little warning next time,” he said. “Why are we stopping, this alley is sketchy as fuck...”

He trailed off as the thing that had made Steve and Bucky stop stepped out of the shadows into the only circle of light in the alley – it was Pierce, Hydra’s new leader.

“The Avengers,” he said. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“We’re just trying to get home, Pierce. Let us pass,” said Steve.

“Sorry, Rogers, but I can’t do that,” said Pierce.

“We don’t want any trouble, not tonight,” Steve said. “Just let us go on our way.”

“You may not want trouble, but we do. And we’re gonna get some trouble in five, four, three, two...”

Wanda’s grip on Pietro’s arm turned suddenly vice-like. Pietro turned just in time to see Rumlow tear her away from him and drag her around the corner.

“Wanda!” Pietro shouted, and took off running.

“Pietro, no! Wait, dammit!” he heard Sam yell after him, but he ignored him and kept running.

He careened around the corner and saw them across the street. Wanda was kicking and trying to get away, but Rumlow was a great deal bigger than her. He pulled her around another corner and they disappeared. Pietro ran across the street and burst into the alley to find it deserted. He stopped, catching his breath, listening for some sign of a struggle, but there was nothing. He glanced behind him, half expecting one of the others to have followed, but none of them had. When he turned back around, he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun. 

“Don’t move,” said a very familiar voice.

Pietro lifted his eyes from the muzzle that was pointed right between them. It was Loki. Just over his left shoulder, Pietro could see the ghost of Clint standing, watching.

“Good God, not again,” he said exasperatedly. “You don’t have to give in to their threats, Loki. They’re just threats.”

“They didn’t threaten me. Not this time,” said Loki.

“You mean to say you’re aiming a gun at my face willingly?” said Pietro.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because the only two people who gave a shit about me were you and Wanda. And you abandoned me,” said Loki, his voice trembling with emotion.

“I was trying to protect you,” Pietro protested.

“From what?”

“From _this_. From Hydra.”

“I don’t need you to protect me from Hydra,” said Loki. 

“No, clearly not, since you’re fucking _working for them_ now...”

“You should mind your attitude, Pietro. I do have a gun to your head and orders to use it.”

“Then why haven’t you?” said Pietro. “You could’ve killed me any time in the last minute but instead you stopped for a chat. But you haven’t. What are you waiting for?”

“I’m not waiting for anything.”

“Then do it. If you’re gonna kill me, then just do it.”

“Trust me, I will,” said Loki.

“Really? I don’t believe you.”

“I’ve never lied to you. I’m certainly not gonna lie to you now.”

“So _do it_! Pull the fucking trigger. Splatter my brains all over the pavement, fill this alley with the insides of my skull,” Pietro taunted. “Do it!”

The gun had been steady in Loki’s hand until this point. But now it quavered ever so slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, Pietro could see Clint flicker and vanish. He was out of danger. He looked into Loki’s eyes and saw fear there. And something else. Something that worried him, because there was a familiar sort of desperation in that look, one that he had felt himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered.

Then in one fluid motion, he switched his aim from Pietro’s head to the roof of his own mouth and pulled the trigger. The force of the shot threw him backward and he fell, dead before he hit the ground. Too shocked to shout, Pietro staggered back several steps and tripped. He fell to the floor and scrambled backwards until his back hit a dumpster, then curled his knees to his chest, trembling and gasping for breath as though he’d just run a marathon. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Loki’s body, blood pooling quickly under his head, his eyes staring up at the sky, wide and blank. The sound of quickly approaching footsteps echoed across the buildings and Wanda ran into the alley. She had a cut lip and a bruise already forming under her eye, but she was otherwise unscathed. 

“Pietro! Thank God, I heard the gunshot and I thought –” she stopped dead, her eyes falling on Loki’s body. “Oh my God... what happened?”

Pietro couldn’t answer. His voice seemed to have fled the second Loki pulled the trigger. Wanda came and crouched down next to him.

“Y-you didn’t do this, did you?” she said quietly, as though afraid of the answer she would get.

Pietro shook his head. Wanda reached out her hand and hesitated a moment before laying it on his arm; Pietro didn’t flinch away. Several more footsteps approached and the rest of the Avengers burst into the alley, all stopping in their tracks as they took in the scene in front of them. Pietro’s heart sank as he watched Thor fall to his knees at his brother’s side, tears already streaming down his face.

“It’s my fault,” Pietro murmured, his voice returning at last. “It’s my fault, I drove him away...”

“It’s not your fault,” said Wanda soothingly. “You were just trying to keep him safe.”

“Fat lot of good that did,” said Pietro bitterly. “Now he’s dead.”


	38. This Is Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild trigger warning for some mentioning of suicide in the beginning of the chapter  
> as for the rest of the chapter, prepare to have your fucking minds blown.

Loki’s funeral was private, for family only. Thor reconciled with his father but refused to move back home; he loved his parents, but he admitted that part of him couldn’t help but blame his father for Loki’s death. Pietro of course blamed himself entirely and was convinced that Thor was just to kind to let on that he blamed him too. Loki’s suicide was also a reminder that for every step forward Pietro took, he would inevitably be driven several steps back. Life was too cruel to let him recover smoothly. The day after Loki killed himself, Pietro had panicked, worried that this would set him off, that it would push him to the edge again, and he could tell that a few of the others worried this too. But then he realized that maybe his own fear of wanting to die meant that he was safe from that fate, that he in fact wanted to live. Seeing Loki lying in the dark alley like that made Pietro almost scared of death again, which he figured was how he was supposed to feel about death. 

But most of all, he felt guilty for what had happened to Loki. He had been one of Loki’s only friends. He had slept with Loki and though in his mind it had been nothing more than sex and a distraction from his feelings for Clint, Pietro knew it had been more than that for Loki. And then he’d abandoned him in the name of protecting him. Pietro accepted that now. He _had_ abandoned Loki, there was no kinder way of putting it. But there was one thing Loki had been wrong about. Pietro and Wanda weren’t the only people who gave a shit about him. In his bitterness, Loki had forgotten just how much his brother loved him. 

 

***

 

The nightmares returned a few days after Loki died, only now instead of being trapped in the alley outside the bar and forced to relive his drugged assault night after night, Pietro found himself watching Loki die again and again with nothing he could do to save him. He told Wanda about the nightmares, knowing from experience that shoving it away would only make matters worse, but it wasn’t like she had some magic cure for nightmares. So he had to suffer through them and hope they wouldn’t last as long as his dreams of Clint’s death had. After a week and a half, he started losing sleep, dreading having to watch Loki’s death so much that he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes.

 

It was nearly two in the morning, two weeks after the nightmares began. Pietro had been lying there for hours, just staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He rolled over onto his side and his heart skipped a beat; there was someone on the ledge outside his window trying to get in. Panicking, he scrambled out of bed and snatched the knife from his nightstand drawer. The figure outside had managed to open the window and climbed inside, landing rather ungracefully on the floor. Holding the knife out defensively, Pietro switched on the lamp. He stood frozen, staring at the intruder in shock. The knife slipped from his hand and landed with a soft thud on the carpet. Standing before him, silhouetted by the city lights outside the window, was Clint Barton.

“You’re not real,” Pietro said.

“I’m not?” said Clint, looking down at himself as though expecting to find nothing there.

“You’re dead. You can’t be here. I’m hallucinating again, you can’t be real...”

Pietro backed away into the wall, trying desperately to keep calm. 

“You’ve been hallucinating?” Clint said, walking towards him with a concerned frown.

“Oh God...” 

Pietro closed his eyes, sliding down the wall onto the floor. When he opened his eyes, Clint was still there and kneeling right in front of him.

“Pietro, buddy, it’s me. This is real. I’m not dead.”

“How can I believe you?” Pietro murmured.

Clint reached out his hand as though to touch him and Pietro recoiled. But then he hesitated, staring at Clint’s outstretched hand. And slowly, he reached out his own hand and took it. It was real. _Clint_ was real. Real and _alive_ and his hand was rough and warm in Pietro’s.

“How is this possible?” he breathed. “You were dead. I watched it happen, you died in my arms.”

“Turns out I wasn’t quite dead yet,” said Clint. “The doctors were able to save me, but my aunt... well, she could tell what was going to happen if Hydra knew I survived. She knew they’d come after me again, they’d target my family and Natasha... she knew I’d have to disappear. She’s got some crazy connections, I don’t even know who with, and she was able to fake my death and send me off to Iowa to live with some relatives of hers.”

“So you’ve been hiding in Iowa all this time?” said Pietro. 

“Yeah... God, it killed me being trapped out there when I knew you guys were up here getting tormented by Hydra. But my aunt wouldn’t let me come back, or even let you guys know I was alive. Even my uncle didn’t know.”

“So why she let you come back now?”

“She didn’t. She doesn’t know I’m here,” said Clint. “I’ve been trying to keep an eye on the news from around here, to make sure you guys were doing okay without me. I saw about Jason Frost’s trial, by the way. And then in January I saw about your mom getting killed, and then a few weeks later, I heard about Bruce, and I... I couldn’t just stay in Iowa anymore, not when I knew you guys were getting killed and... well, I snuck out and hitchhiked my way back. I did some digging before I left, found out you and Wanda had moved in with the Starks. So when I got to New York, I came straight here.”

“But why me?” said Pietro. “Why didn’t you go to Natasha?”

Clint stared at him, not answering right away, and Pietro became aware that they were still holding hands.

“I don’t know,” said Clint at last. “It just... felt right, I suppose. I felt like... like I needed you to know I was alive.”

Pietro stared at him and felt the tears well up unbidden in his eyes. 

“This is really real? It’s not a dream?” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“I’m really here, buddy,” said Clint. 

“All this time... I felt so guilty,” said Pietro. “I couldn’t get that image out of my head, you lying there... I had nightmares... I wished more than anything that I could have traded places with you. I never stopped wishing it. And now you’re _alive_. You’re really alive.”

Clint smiled at him and Pietro felt at home for the first time in months.

“Oh my god,” he said suddenly. “We’ve got to tell the others!”

“Dude, it’s two am,” said Clint. 

“So?”

“They’re gone this long thinking I was dead, I think they can last a couple more hours. Besides, I haven’t really slept much in a few days and might pass out in front of everyone if I don’t get a little rest.”

“You can sleep in my bed,” Pietro offered.

“What about you though?” Clint asked.

“I can sleep on the floor, it’s fine.”

Clint looked behind him at the bed.

“Dude, your bed is massive, you could fit us both in their twice,” he said. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed.”

“Wait, you mean sleep in the same bed?” Pietro said, really hoping that little nervous flutter he felt in his chest didn’t show in his voice.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay.”

Pietro and Clint got to their feet and walked over to the bed. Pietro got right in, but Clint first stripped off his shoes, jeans, and hoodie, leaving him in just his t-shirt and boxers, before climbing under the covers. Pietro watched as Clint settled down onto the pillow with a satisfied sigh.

“I haven’t slept in a real bed since I left Iowa,” he said. “And _damn_ the Starks gave you a nice one. I’m gonna sleep like a baby.”

Pietro smiled at him, then reached over and turned off the lamp before laying back onto his own pillow. 

“Good night, Pietro,” Clint said.

“Good night, Clint,” Pietro replied.

The city lights shone through the window, casting little squares of light across their faces. Pietro looked over at Clint, who already had his eyes shut; he looked so peaceful and almost otherworldly with the colorful lights playing across his eyelashes. Pietro felt a rush of the kind of pure joy he had become nearly a stranger to. Clint was alive. And he was home.


	39. Call to Arms

 

Pietro woke up after ten the next morning, having slept through (what was left of) the night for the first time in days. He sat up and ran a hand through his messy white-blond hair and looked over to where Clint still slept next to him, lying on his stomach with his mouth slightly open. Pietro smiled. So it hadn’t been a dream. His best friend really was back. There was a soft knock on the door and Pietro looked up just as Wanda stepped inside, coffee mug in hand.

“Oh good, you _are_ awake,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if you were. I made you coffee if you...”

She trailed off, frozen in her tracks, as Clint sat up on the other side of the bed, extremely tousled and barely awake. 

“I wouldn’t mind some coffee,” he said with a lopsided smirk.

The coffee mug slipped from Wanda’s hand and shattered on the floor, but she didn’t even notice. She just stood there, staring, her mouth hanging open in shock.

“Hey, Wanda, is everything okay? I heard a smash...” Tony’s voice echoed down the hall and a second later he was frozen in the doorway just behind Wanda. 

“Soooo, I definitely wasn’t planning on you guys finding out I’m alive by discovering me in Pietro’s bed...” said Clint.

“What the hell?” said Tony.

“This looks kinda bad, doesn’t it?”

“No seriously, what the hell?”

“Well... I’m alive. Surprise!” said Clint, giving Tony a double thumbs-up and an awkward grin.

“How?” said Wanda.

“It’s a long story,” said Clint.

“It wasn’t that long when you told me,” Pietro pointed out.

“Yeah well, you were having a psychological meltdown, I had to do the short version. You still haven’t explained the hallucination thing, by the way.”

“It’s a long story,” said Pietro.

“This isn’t a fucked up dream, is it?” Tony said.

“Nope. It’s one hundred percent genuine reality,” said Clint.

Pietro thought he saw Tony’s bottom lip tremble slightly as Clint got up and walked around the bed to face Tony and Wanda. 

“So you’re alive?” said Tony.

“Yup.”

Then suddenly, he threw his arms around Clint’s neck and pulled him into a suffocating hug. After an almost awkwardly long time, Clint pulled away, patting Tony on the shoulder. He turned to Wanda and held out his arms in invitation. Wanda practically leapt into his embrace, laughing and crying at the same time as Clint lifted her off the ground. 

“I can’t believe it, you’re really back,” she said once Clint set her back down. “Oh my god! We need to call Natasha!”

“We need to call everybody,” said Clint. “Just call a full-scale Avengers meeting. I’ve got an announcement to make, and not just the one about me being alive.”

 

***

 

Half an hour later, all the Avengers were gathered in the living room. 

“So what’s this about?” Natasha asked.

Pietro stood up.

“Well... there’s something... okay, you know what, there’s actually no good way to preface this,” he said. “You can come in now.”

Clint stepped into the room, a slightly bashful smile on his face. The shocked silence in the room was deafening. 

“Hi guys,” Clint said. “Yeah. I’m not dead.”

Natasha stood up and drifted toward Clint as though sleepwalking, coming to a halt inches in front of him. Clint smiled at her with a loving, longing look in his eyes.

“Hi Nat,” he said softly.

Then Natasha slapped him across the face.

“Ow! What the hell?” 

“A year and a half!” Natasha said. “I thought you were _dead_ for a year and a half! We all did! We mourned for you, I had to try and get over you, Pietro went half out of his _mind_ because of you! And now you just waltz back in here with that dopey grin and act like you were off on vacation or something and –”

Natasha took a deep, shuddering breath and Pietro realized she was crying.

“I’m sorry, Nat, I really am,” said Clint. “I wanted to come back sooner...”

“Oh shut up,” said Natasha, pulling him into a kiss.

Pietro averted his eyes, vaguely aware that several of the others were looking at him, gauging his reaction. But he was determined not to give them one. Clint was back, and he didn’t need more than that to be happy. Finally, they broke apart.

“I missed you,” said Clint.

“I missed you too,” Natasha said.

“Okay, Nat, your turn’s over,” said Sam, standing up. “I need to give this bird-brain a year and a half worth of hugs.”

Natasha laughed and stepped aside, letting Sam step in to hug Clint. When it seemed to be lasting a little too long, Thor tapped Sam on the shoulder before nearly smothering Clint in his massive arms. Then Steve came to hug him, saying,

“Don’t you ever do that again, you hear?”

Then it was Rhodey’s turn.

“It’s good to have you back, pal,” he said.

And finally, Bucky.

“You’ve gotta lot of explaining to do.”

“I know,” said Clint. “But that’s gonna have to wait. I’ve got some much more pressing shit to talk to you guys about.”

“What kind of pressing shit?” Rhodey asked.

“Hydra.”

“What about them?” asked Steve. “Are they up to something?”

“No, not that I know of,” said Clint. “But we’re about to be.”

“What do you mean?” Pietro asked.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on what’s been going on up here while I was gone. Watching the newspapers, anything I could get my hands on that would let me know you guys were doing alright,” said Clint. “And I don’t think you need me to tell you that you have definitely _not_ been doing alright. Hydra has beaten the shit out of you. I figured that out just from the stuff that’s in the news, so I know it’s been even worse than that. They killed Bruce, for God’s sake, sweet innocent Bruce who patched us all up too many times to count and wanted nothing more than to help people. Hydra’s been taking advantage of you at every turn, tearing you to pieces bit by bit. And you guys have been lying down and taking it. That’s not like us. We’re fighters. We stand up to bullies. And that’s all that Hydra is. A bunch of bullies. Yeah they’re ruthless and killers, but you know what? Put that aside and they’re just the same as us: a bunch of punk-ass kids with shit lives who found some less-than-healthy methods to cope with the crappy ways they grew up. So we can totally take ‘em. We call ourselves the Avengers. I think it’s time we actually put that name to use.”

“Are you saying we should challenge them to a fight?” said Wanda.

“Hell yeah, that’s what I’m saying,” said Clint. “Barton’s back in business and he’s not gonna sit here and watch his friends get walked all over by a gang of goons. We’re gonna fight those sons of bitches.”

“Have you got any sort of plan in mind?” Thor asked.

“Vaguely. But I need you guys’ help to make it work,” said Clint. “Step one, we’ve gotta challenge them. So does anyone know of a time and place where they might all be, preferably where they won’t try to fight us then and there, and also preferably ASAP?”

“I do,” said Tony. “There’s a party downtown, tonight at starting at eleven, no invitation needed. I know for a fact that several people from Hydra will be there.”

“Plus that would be neutral ground, so they wouldn’t dare make a move,” Natasha pointed out.

“Okay, perfect. Step two, invite them to a war council. Anyone know of a place we could have that? Probably someplace public, again so they don’t try and start a fight.”

“There’s a cafe around the corner from my place,” Steve suggested. “It’s open late, and the owner likes me so he won’t kick us out.”

“Awesome, this is working even better than I expected,” said Clint.

“What kind of fight are we thinking here?” Bucky asked. “Not a ‘put forth your champion’ type fight, right? ‘Cause last time we did that, it kinda didn’t end so well...”

“Why, what happened?”

“Steve nearly died and Bucky killed Schmidt,” said Sam.

“You _killed_ –?! Jesus Christ...” Clint said. “Well, I wasn’t thinking anything like that.”

“So what then, a full-blown rumble?” Steve asked, sounding skeptical.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“That sounds like a good way to get people killed.”

“I never said this was gonna be a clean fight. We wanna kick their asses good and hard, we gotta throw everything we got at them,” said Clint. “Which leads us to weapons.”

“Don’t we discuss that at the war council?” Pietro asked.

“Yeah, but we should have some sort of idea going in, so we can convince them to agree to what _we_ want to use.”

“No guns,” said Steve immediately.

“Can we nix knives, too?” Bucky said.

“They might not agree to no knives,” Pietro pointed out.

“It’s worth a shot,” said Bucky. 

“We’ll try for no knives, but like Pietro said, it’s pretty likely they won’t like that suggestion,” said Clint.

“So what do we suggest, a fist fight?” said Rhodey.

“That would be the best way to keep everybody alive,” said Steve.

“But again, they’ll probably shoot that down,” said Wanda. “They’re too violent for something as fair as a fist fight.”

“So what then?” said Thor. “Bricks? Bats? Rocks?”

“I suppose so,” said Clint. “We just wanna keep our suggestions decisively non-lethal without extreme force. They’ll probably push for knives, and we may have no choice but to let them have that one, but under no circumstances should we agree to guns.”

“Agreed,” said Natasha.

“What about the time and place of the fight?” Steve asked.

“As soon as possible, maybe tomorrow night even,” said Clint. “But again, that’s something we’re gonna have to agree with Hydra on.”

“Okay. I guess it’s all settled then,” said Natasha. “We’ve got a party to prep for.”

 


	40. War Council

Twenty minutes after eleven, the Avengers’ SUV pulled up outside the party venue. Whoever was throwing this party must have been extremely rich, because they’d rented out an entire club for the night. They parked on the curb and got out, all dressed “to the eights” as Clint said, which he explained was “looking hot without getting too fancy”. The music from the party played loudly through the open front doors as they walked up the sidewalk and into the building. As they stepped inside, Steve turned to address the rest of the gang.

“Okay, you know what to do,” he said. “Spread out, mingle, but stay with your partner and don’t go too far. If you find Pierce, text me. Bucky and I will come over and lay down the challenge. Let’s go.”

Then they split. Pietro and Wanda wandered off together, scanning the crowd for any sign of Hydra. They found themselves by the bar, and while Wanda had her back turned, looking around, Pietro got himself a drink. The bartender had just passed it to him when Wanda turned back around and immediately gave him an exasperated look.

“What?” he said defensively.

“What are you doing?” said Wanda.

“Liquid courage.”

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Pietro.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

Wanda just gave him another look. 

“It’s just one little drink, Wanda,” said Pietro. “I’ve got a lot of problems, but alcoholism isn’t one of them.”

“Yet.”

Pietro sighed heavily.

“It’s just one drink,” he said again. “Besides, I had to pay for this, so I’m not gonna just leave it.”

“Fine. But if I have to drag your ass to rehab one day, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Wanda.

Pietro rolled his eyes and took a drink, draining about a quarter of the glass and earning himself a withering scowl. 

“What?” he said.

“You’re impossible,” sighed Wanda, turning her back on him to scan the crowd again.

Several minutes later, Pietro’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He took in out; it was a text from Natasha:

“ _Found Hydra. Everybody come to the dance floor._ ”

Pietro put away his phone.

“Wanda, come on, they found Hydra,” he said.

“I know, I got the text too,” said Wanda.

“Oh...”

Pietro threw back the rest of his drink and left the empty glass on the bar counter, then followed Wanda over to the dance floor. Natasha and Clint came to meet them.

“Okay, Steve and Bucky are about to go challenge Pierce,” said Natasha. “Just hang around, act casual, but keep an eye on them in case things go sour.”

Pietro and Wanda nodded and they all parted ways again. Pietro glanced around for Steve and Bucky, and quickly found them. They were in a corner with Pierce and Zola, and none of them looked particularly comfortable. He nudged Wanda and jerked his head in their direction. She nodded in response and they positioned themselves so they had a clear view. About a minute later, Steve and Bucky left Pierce and Zola.

“Come on,” said Wanda.

She and Pietro met them by the back wall and they were soon joined by the rest of the Avengers.

“So?” Sam said, looking expectantly at Steve.

“One o’clock at the cafe,” said Steve.

“Alright,” said Tony. “Let’s get going.”

 

***

 

The cafe was empty except for the Avengers, a haggard-looking man with a laptop, and the barista. Pietro had his feet up on the table, which had earned him several glares from the barista, and was sucking on a lollipop from the candy jar on the counter.

“It’s one,” Rhodey announced, looking at his phone.

Right on cue, the cafe door opened and Hydra filed in, led by Pierce. They walked over to where the Avengers were gathered and Pierce pulled out the chair across from Steve and sat down.

“Let’s make this quick,” he said. 

“Okay, straight to the point then,” said Steve. “We want to settle the score, stop this feud once and for all. One all-out fight, Avengers versus Hydra. We win, you leave us alone.”

“And if we win?” Pierce said.

“Then we go back to taking the piss out of each other, same as always.”

“Sounds fair enough. Location?”

“That rundown park on the edge of town,” Steve suggested.

“Okay. Time?”

“Tomorrow night,” said Steve. “Eleven.”

“Midnight,” Pierce countered.

“Okay, midnight.”

“Weapons?”

“None. Just a fair fist fight.”

“That’s too easy,” said Pierce. “Guns.”

“Too deadly. This is a gang fight, not a war,” said Steve. “Bats.”

“Okay.”

“You got any suggestions that aren’t guns?”

“Knives. Final offer.”

Pietro held his breath as Steve considered.

“Agreed,” he said at last.

Pietro sighed and exchanged a glance with Bucky. It had been worth a shot. Steve and Pierce shook hands.

“See you tomorrow night, then,” said Steve.

“Yes we will.”

Pierce stood up and gestured to the rest of Hydra to follow, then led them out of the cafe.

“You just had to let him have the knives, didn’t you?” said Bucky once the door had closed.

“It was his final offer, if I didn’t agree, he might have backed out,” Steve said.

“That’s a pretty big ‘might’,” said Pietro.

“This isn’t gonna be a clean fight, we knew that from the minute we planned it,” said Sam. “Steve’s right, we’ve got to risk it.”

“Well, if anybody gets stabbed, I’m not gonna be too happy with you,” Bucky said.

“Yes, dear,” said Steve, patting him on the shoulder. “We better get home. We’ve got a rumble to get ready for tomorrow and we’re gonna need all the rest we can get.”

 


	41. Just Once

It was nine in the evening the next day. Pietro was in his room, already getting ready for the fight. Sure there were hours yet before they had to leave, but he was too nervous to do anything else. He was pacing back and forth, twirling a knife between his fingers, when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” he called.

The door opened and Clint stepped inside.

“Hey,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“Hey,” said Pietro.

“You nervous?”

“Extremely.”

“Me too. I haven’t been in a fight since... well, since I nearly died,” said Clint.

“Oh great, make me more nervous,” Pietro teased.

Clint laughed, but it was short lived. The looming shadow of the upcoming fight quelled any attempt at lightening the mood.

“You know, all that talk yesterday... I was just being optimistic to boost morale,” Clint admitted. “Hydra may be a bunch of punks like us, but they’re still killers. There’s a good chance we don’t all make it outta this.”

“You will,” said Pietro.

“Dude, seriously? You know I got no luck.”

“I’d say coming back from the brink of death is pretty lucky.”

“Well, if that’s the case, you must be the luckiest man alive,” said Clint.

Pietro chuckled, though he sounded more sad than amused.

“Hey, buddy,” Clint said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Nat told me about everything that happened while I was gone. You went through more hell in a year than most people will in their whole lives. And you’re still here. That’s something to be proud of.”

Pietro smiled sadly.

“I know,” he said. “It’s just not always easy.”

“It’s never gonna be, but that’s life,” said Clint. He paused for a moment before continuing. “When I said Nat told me everything, I _mean_ everything... are you really in love with me?”

Pietro blushed and looked down.

“She shouldn’t have told you that,” he said quietly.

“So it’s true.”

“Yes. It is.”

“It didn’t even seem real when Nat said it... but now I hear it from you...”

“I know it would never work out,” Pietro said quickly. “I’m fine with it.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you, Pietro,” said Clint. “You don’t have to say that if you’re not actually fine.”

“You couldn’t possibly hurt me, Clint. You’re alive. That’s all that matters. I’m happy just to be your friend,” said Pietro, and he meant it.

Clint smiled at him.

“I know a lot of amazing people. But you are truly one of the most remarkable,” he said. 

Clint stepped forward so he was inches from Pietro, then gently tilted his chin up to look at him. Then suddenly, Clint was kissing him. Pietro froze in shock, but only for a moment before melting into the kiss and responding with nearly two years worth of passion and longing. The kiss lasted not even a minute, but for Pietro it could have been an age, in the best sense – it was timeless. They broke apart, but neither pulled away very far, their foreheads pressed together, tips of their noses brushing. Pietro didn’t dare open his eyes, in case he did and discovered it was all a dream.

“I don’t know why I did that,” Clint breathed. 

“I don’t need to know a reason,” said Pietro. “The fact that it happened is enough.”

“It won’t be able to happen again, you know.”

Pietro opened his eyes. Clint was impossibly close, gazing at Pietro with a fond, yet sad smile.

“I know,” Pietro said. “But that’s okay. I may never stop loving you, Clint Barton, but that’s _why_ it’s okay. I want what’s best for you, and that’s being with Natasha. Just one kiss is fine with me.”

“Thank you,” said Clint.

“For what?”

“I dunno... everything.”

“Well... what are friends for?” said Pietro with a smile.

“‘Last night on earth’ kisses apparently,” Clint joked.

They both burst out laughing, all anxieties about the fight temporarily fled.

 

***

 

Forty-five minutes to midnight, the Avengers gathered outside Stark Mansion and loaded into Tony’s SUV. They drove in silence, each distinctly aware that by the end of the night, they could be lying dead on the pavement. After what felt like an eternity, they arrived at the park on the edge of town. Tony parked and they got out of the car.

“Okay, guys,” said Steve, turned to them all. “I don’t think I need to remind you to fight as hard as you can. With luck, we can win this. But I plan on seeing you all at the end of this. So don’t go dyin’ on me, okay? Now let’s go kick some Hydra ass.”


	42. The Final Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my only warning is this: brace yourselves for pain.

 

The orange light of the street lamps cast eerie shadows over their faces as the two gangs stood staring at each other, waiting. Slowly, Steve and Pierce stepped into the empty space between the two gangs and shook hands.

“May the best gang win,” said Steve.

“Oh, we plan to,” Pierce replied.

Neither turned their back on the other as they stepped back into line with their comrades.There was a moment of silence, the tension so thick you could feel it in the air. Then it began.

 

Chaos. That was the only word to describe it. It was too dark, there was too much happening. But Pietro couldn’t let that slow him down. He had to survive this one. They had to win. 

 

Number one problem of setting their big showdown in a park: there was too much damn space. Everyone had scattered God knows where, the only sign of their location being the shouts that echoed through the darkness. But there was nothing Pietro could do to help them. All he could do was run. He was fast and he knew he could run for a long time if he wanted to, but he also knew there was only so much running could accomplish and that soon he’d have to turn and fight his pursuer. Preferably before he wore himself out from running. He glanced over his shoulder. Strucker was gaining on him, but if Pietro turned now, he would be more than ready for him when he caught up. Now was his moment.

Pietro skidded to a halt and whipped around, bracing himself for Strucker’s attack. It would come at any second. Pietro struggled to catch his breath. 

Five. Four. Three. Two.

Strucker dove at Pietro, knocking him to the ground. Pietro rolled and sprung to his feet.

“That the best you can do?” he taunted.

“Hardly,” Strucker snarled.

Pietro dodged his punch and kicked him in the knee. He took advantage of Strucker’s momentary collapse to run to a nearby tree and pick up a fallen branch for a weapon. As Strucker ran at him again, Pietro noticed the glint of a knife. He swung the branch at him, hoping to knock the knife from his hand, but Strucker simply caught the branch and used it to slam Pietro back into the trunk of the tree. Pietro gasped as the wind was knocked out of him. He fought to get loose, but Strucker closed in, holding the knife to Pietro’s throat.

“Never thought I’d be the one to finish you,” Strucker said. “Still, it’ll be enjoyable. Especially knowing you’ll be too dead to save your sister.”

Pietro froze, eyes wide.

“What do you mean?” he said. “What have you done to her?”

“Oh it’s not what _I’ve_ done,” said Strucker tauntingly. “It’s what the others are doing to her right now. Ooh, she’s probably in so much pain. Screaming your name, expecting you to come swooping in to rescue her. Who knows? By now, she may already be dead.”

“No!” Pietro shouted desperately, shoving Strucker away with all his strength.

To his surprise, Strucker fell backwards to the ground. Pietro didn’t give him a second glance. He took off running, with no idea of where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to get to Wanda. He had to save her. She was the one person on this earth he could never lose.

“Wanda!” he shouted. “Wanda, where are you?”

There was no response, and Pietro kept running. Suddenly, he found himself back on the basketball court where the fight had begun. It was empty now. Pietro came to a stop and tried to catch his breath.

“Wanda!” he called again. 

“Pietro?!”

He whipped around. There was Wanda, running toward him on the other side of the chain link fence, alive and safe. 

“Wanda!” Pietro gasped in relief.

“Pietro, it’s over, it’s–”

She was cut off by two gunshots, one right after the other, unnaturally loud. They both froze, staring at each other, the fence still separating them. Then Pietro’s knees buckled.

“NO!” Wanda screamed.

She was by his side faster than seemed possible, catching him before he fell and slowly lowering him to the ground. She laid his head in her lap and cradled him in her arms. Pietro looked up at her, the pain already taking hold. He had been here before. But not like this. Somehow, this time was different.

“Wanda,” he said, his voice already weak and trembling; this was happening too quickly, he knew it. “You’re safe. Thank God, you’re safe.”

“Yes, I’m safe,” said Wanda. She was crying already. She knew it too. “It’s okay. And you’re gonna be okay too. We’ll get you fixed up, just like before.”

Pietro shook his head.

“It’s too late for that. You know it is.”

“Don’t say that!” Wanda sobbed. “You’re going to be fine, you have to be. You can’t die, not now, not when we’ve won. You can’t leave me here without you.”

“Better me than you,” said Pietro. “I was never gonna make it out of this alive. We should’ve known that from day one. I think maybe I did know it.”

“Pietro, please...”

“I’m sorry, Wanda.”

“No, please. You’re going to live, you have to!”

Pietro smiled sadly at her, too weak now for words. He could taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue, and the burning pain in his body seemed to be dulling as the edges of his vision grew dark. Wanda was holding him tightly, tears streaming down her cheeks, as though the strength of her grip would keep death from taking him away from her. But it was too late; he could already feel the life leaving his body. It wouldn’t be long now. But right now, the pain of leaving Wanda hurt more than the bullets that had torn into his chest.

“Pietro, please,” Wanda said, tears strangling her voice.

She was all he could see now. All he could hear or feel. He tried to take one last shaky breath, to say one last thing to her, but it was no good. He blinked and looked up at her grief-stricken face. 

_I’m so sorry_ , he thought desperately, willing her to hear his thoughts. _I love you, sister._

He let his eyes close, and that was the last Pietro knew.

 


	43. You're All To Blame

“Wanda?”

“Oh my God...”

“What....? Oh no....”

“Pietro?”

“No, Steve, don’t let Clint see...”

“Oh God.”

“Clint, look at me, there’s nothing you can do.”

“Oh God.... Pietro....”

“Clint, please.”

“Who did this?”

“Clint...”

“Who did this? I’m gonna kill them.”

“Clint, please, don’t...”

“No, you won’t,” said Wanda suddenly.

She finally looked up at the rest of her friends. They had drifted in, one by one, each stopping in their tracks at the sight of Pietro lying dead, and Wanda had ignored every one of them. Pietro was dead. Her brother was dead. That was all that mattered. There was nothing else left. Slowly, she stood up, laying Pietro gently on the pavement. Standing just apart from the Avengers, hovering in the space between the circle of light from the streetlight and the darkness beyond, was her brother’s killer. Wanda walked slowly toward him. No one moved. They all just watched her, except for Clint, who had fallen to his knees and seemed unable to tear his eyes away from Pietro. 

“Step into the light,” Wanda ordered.

He obeyed – it was Rumlow. He looked almost shocked at what he had done, but Wanda didn’t care. He had killed her brother. Behind him, she could see the figures of the rest of Hydra, watching from the shadows. 

“Give me that gun,” said Wanda quietly.

She was surprised at how steady her voice was. Rumlow handed her the gun, hesitating only a moment. Wanda took it and stared at it. It seemed such an innocent thing just sitting there in her hand, and yet it had taken the person she loved more than anything on earth away from her. Grief-fueled rage bubbled up inside her and she raised the gun, aiming it at Rumlow’s heart.

“How many shots are left in this gun?” she said.

Her voice was no longer as steady as it was before. Rumlow didn’t answer.

“I know there’s enough for me to kill you, but who else?” said Wanda. “Who else can I kill? How many of you can I send to hell where you belong?”

“Wanda...” said Steve tentatively.

Wanda whirled around to face him, the gun still raised. Steve took a step back.

“You don’t think you’re exempt from this, do you? You killed him too, you know. All of you did.”

“Wanda, please,” said Steve. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Don’t I?” said Wanda. She felt another tear fall down her cheek but ignored it. “I understand him now. I understand his agony. And I don’t know how he lived with it, because right now I don’t think I can. But he never would have had to live with it if it weren’t for you. For _all_ of you. It’s _your_ fault he was in pain, and it’s _your_ fault that he’s dead. So tell me, Rumlow, how many people can I kill with this gun and still have one bullet left for myself?”

Still Rumlow didn’t answer. No one did. Wanda pointed the gun back at Rumlow, her hands shaking and tears blurring her vision. 

“Tell me!” she begged.

Suddenly, Natasha stepped forward and slowly approached Wanda. She gently took the gun from Wanda’s hands and set it on the ground. Wanda buried her face in her now empty hands and choked out a sob, sinking to the ground. Natasha’s arms were around her in an instant and Wanda melted into the embrace, crying so hard it hurt. She didn’t notice the sound of approaching sirens until they arrived and several police officers hurried onto the basketball court. She looked up, blinking the tears from her wet eyelashes, to see one of the cops heading for Pietro’s body.

“No...” she murmured weakly.

They were going to take him away. She couldn’t let them take him away. Clint was of the same mind. He scrambled forward, evading Thor’s feeble attempt to hold him back, and threw himself across Pietro’s chest.

“Get away from him!” he cried.

“I’m just trying to help, kid,” said the cop.

“He’s dead, you idiot. You can’t help him,” Clint said, clearly struggling to not break down.

The cop took another step forward, but Clint simply clung to Pietro tighter.

“Don’t touch him!” 

“Kid, please,” said the cop gently. “You’ve gotta let us take him. There’s nothing you can do.”

That was what finally broke him. 

“No...” Clint sobbed. “You can’t... you can’t take him away... I only just got him back... he was supposed to make it... you were supposed to _live_.... Pietro....”

The pure agony in his voice shattered what remained of Wanda’s broken heart. She held on tightly to Natasha’s arm, watching through her own endless tears as Clint buried his face in Pietro’s too-still chest, his fists balled up in the fabric of the blood-stained t-shirt, clinging to Pietro desperately as he begged him to come back to life. No one moved. No one tried to comfort him. No one had the strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just one more chapter.... i am so sorry....


	44. Even Flowers Die

Wanda was barely aware of what happened the rest of the night. She was too lost in her grief. They had all been taken down to the station for questioning, but Rumlow confessed the moment they arrived, telling the police everything. They still had to spend the night at the station. The next morning, Howard Stark arrived to pick them up; apparently the sheriff had only told him that his son and his friends had been arrested. They hadn’t told him that Pietro was dead. 

 

***

 

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” Wanda called.

The door opened and Tony stuck his head inside.

“It’s time,” he said quietly.

Wanda stood up, smoothing out the creases in her black dress before following him out.

 

***

 

The cemetery was uncannily quiet. Not even the birds made a sound. The ground in front of Wanda’s feet was bare, nothing but dirt. Perhaps some grass would grow on it before autumn came, but for now, the only living thing it held was the bouquet of flowers that lay in front of the polished headstone. It would only be a few days before those were dead too. Wanda’s eyes were miraculously dry as they gazed mournfully at Pietro’s name, carved in neat, uniform letters on the stone. Pietro. Her brother. Her twin. Her best friend. The only family she’d had left. And now he was gone, dead, lying forever just six feet below her shoes.

She became aware of a presence at her side and turned to find Clint and Natasha standing next to her, arm in arm. Clint looked rather the worse for wear – he was pale and weary and looked as though he had cried every day since Pietro died. Wanda wouldn’t be surprised if he had. Clint had taken Pietro’s death harder than anyone had expected. They had always been close, all of them knew that, and they’d seen how much Pietro had mourned when they thought Clint had died. But this... Clint was resilient, he could pull through anything, but Pietro’s death had broken him. All it took was one glance to see that. If it weren’t for Natasha, Wanda was pretty sure he would just unravel and fall apart.

“How are you doing, Wanda?” Natasha asked gently.

“My brother is dead,” said Wanda. “I feel like the world has ended, and yet it keeps spinning on.”

“I’m sorry.”

Wanda knew that Natasha was at least a little familiar with the feeling. She had lost Clint once, after all. Wanda glanced up at Clint; at the moment, it looked like she might be losing him again.

“Are you holding up okay, Clint?” she asked, knowing it was a stupid question.

“No,” said Clint with a bitter half-smile. “Not at all.”

They fell silent, all three staring down at the cold slab of stone marking Pietro’s grave.

“How do you do this?” Clint said suddenly. “How do you just keep going with your life when someone you.... someone you care so much about is gone?”

Wanda looked at Clint again and she noticed Natasha staring sadly up at him too. Wanda took Clint’s other arm, giving it a gentle, comforting squeeze.

“I don’t know,” she said. “But we have to try.”

 

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and for sticking with me for all 44 agonizing chapters. i definitely didn't make this an easy one, so i appreciate you so much if you managed to make it to the end. i hope you enjoyed it despite how emotionally draining i made it and, of course, kudos and/or comments will be greatly treasured. thanks again!


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